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Veteran
Posts: 104
Location: The black prairie of Mississippi | My family has a history of mental illness and we have dealt with having to forcibly place two in inpatient care. The mental healthcare system in this country is a terribly broken thing and it takes extreme measures sometimes to get help for those that need it.
My uncle had to be placed in the county jail until a bed could open up in the state mental hospital for him. He was/is a paranoid schizophrenic and had had a total break with reality. He was a danger to himself and his family and needed to be placed in custody. He had held his family hostage inside their home for several days until my aunt tricked him into letting her go to town and buy groceries.
I don't know if it's the case here, but if they were willing to take a child they had raised for almost a decade back to the county and say here he is, we just don't know what to do don't you think it was an absolute last resort?
Like others have said, long term inpatient care is basically a thing of the past. No matter how much money you have to spend if the patient looks like they are capable of going home they go home. There are so many out there that need emergency treatment they just don't have the space to keep them long term.
I am in no way justifying what they have done but please try to give them the benefit of the doubt. |
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 Expert
Posts: 1479
 
Location: rabbit run | My brother and his wife adopted an infant many years ago. They didn't find out he was a drug baby until several years later as they didn't have to divulge all of that back then. He had ADD, autism, threatened to kill them, and then set their house on fire. They had him in a mental health institution, group homes, etc, until their insurance was maxxed out. He came back home but ended up getting in enough trouble that he was sent to prison. He has been out several times, but always ends up back there. They thought many times about giving him back but I don't exactly know why they didn't. He hated everyone, including his grandparents, which broke my mom and dad's hearts. I never wanted him around my kids, and I'm glad he is in prison right now. My sister-in-law has passed away and my brother has disowned him. I don't know what else they could have done and I thank God every day that it wasn't my husband and I having to go through that. I don't know what I would have done so I wouldn't judge these people.
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 Expert
Posts: 1218
Location: Great NW | Three 4 Luck - 2013-11-16 8:10 PM Reading the article, it doesnt give enough info to form an opinion about what's going on, but what does the value of their house have to do with anything?
 there is not enough information. If he threatened other family members it would be hard to keep him. We just can not say what we would do if put in their position. Very sad situation. They had to be at the end of their rope with no where to turn. They probably would have been jailed for disciplining him for his behavior and heck when they tried to get him help by giving him back they get prosecuted. Really no where for them to go. From what I understand our system does not have many options for family's with problem children. |
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Nut Case Expert
Posts: 9305
 
Location: Tulsa, Ok | I just don't think it is possible to make a judgement based on the information provided. Nobody has walked in these people's shoes. Nobody knows what treatments and interventions have failed. Nobody knows what consideration had to be made for the health and safety of the other children.
Somehow i doubt that the decsion was made lightly. |
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Nut Case Expert
Posts: 9305
Location: Tulsa, Ok | speedjunkie - 2013-11-18 11:24 AM Three 4 Luck - 2013-11-16 8:10 PM Reading the article, it doesnt give enough info to form an opinion about what's going on, but what does the value of their house have to do with anything? there is not enough information. If he threatened other family members it would be hard to keep him. We just can not say what we would do if put in their position. Very sad situation. They had to be at the end of their rope with no where to turn. They probably would have been jailed for disciplining him for his behavior and heck when they tried to get him help by giving him back they get prosecuted. Really no where for them to go. From what I understand our system does not have many options for family's with problem children.
There are actually situations where mental health facilties have called parents/guardians and told them to come get their violent children/patients because they cannot help them. What are their options at that point?? |
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 Shelter Dog Lover
Posts: 10277
| I would remove any threat to family, even if it were a 9 year old, I don't think I would abandon him though. It is just a sad situation all around and a testament to how broken the system is if the child is getting help that the family could not acess. It is in society's best interest to help this segment of our population. I think what set the press off was the statement "the parents said the child refused help" as opposed to we have tried everything and need help and if this is what we have to do to get him help them we will do it. I have been down that road of having to come up with major $$ out of no where to treat a medical condition so I don't give them a free pass on the cost of his care.
Edited by rodeomom3 2013-11-18 12:09 PM
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Expert
Posts: 1218
Location: Great NW | diggerdoo - 2013-11-18 8:47 AM My brother and his wife adopted an infant many years ago. They didn't find out he was a drug baby until several years later as they didn't have to divulge all of that back then. He had ADD, autism, threatened to kill them, and then set their house on fire. They had him in a mental health institution, group homes, etc, until their insurance was maxxed out. He came back home but ended up getting in enough trouble that he was sent to prison. He has been out several times, but always ends up back there. They thought many times about giving him back but I don't exactly know why they didn't. He hated everyone, including his grandparents, which broke my mom and dad's hearts. I never wanted him around my kids, and I'm glad he is in prison right now. My sister-in-law has passed away and my brother has disowned him. I don't know what else they could have done and I thank God every day that it wasn't my husband and I having to go through that. I don't know what I would have done so I wouldn't judge these people.
Sorry this is so LONG:
My uncle went thru this - after losing two children in utero they adopted 3 kids about a year apart from each other~What a mess. the 1st was an alcohal baby. he was not too bad and is an upstanding citizen in the community. The 2nd two were drug babies and oh my. A Girl and a Boy. Both were horrible- they would run all over town at all hours of the night. When disciplined they would call the police and report abuse. they both at different times stole their parents blind and then when they were given only access to their rooms they each attacked their foster parents - one at knifepoint and one with a gun. They both went to several of those Juvenile delinquent camps. This family spent thousands trying to get these kids to take the right path and become good citizens. The girl has finally made it and the boy is now a man in his 30's and is living off the state. This is so sad, my uncle has money and he took them on trips all over the world and these kids truely had the "Whoe is me - I was adopted - no one cares for me" attitude when these parents wanted these kids more than anything in the world. No one knows what the long term affects of drugs and Alcohal will be ~ it is sad when they are handed over to parents that really have no idea what they are getting into - they are so deperate for a child that they close their minds. I feel for this family- I am sure they felt they had no where to go. |
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 Reaching for the stars....
Posts: 12704
| My mother turned me over to the state when I was 17.
I'm adopted.
You can give an adopted child, or your own, over to the state if they are a danger to themselves or others.
The child goes into foster care if lucky, a Boys or Girls home if only slightly damaged or damaging, or some sort of institution if truly dangerous.
There are many scenarios where a parent would choose to relinquish their child. Dangerous is dangerous. You cannot force a person into behaving rationally if there the brain isn't rational. If this child has a psychosis then relinquishing the child back to state custody may be the first step in getting the child into a facility that can deal with the illness. |
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 Uh....never mind
Posts: 2696
Location: Midwest Farmer's Daughter: Central Illinois | TyE - 2013-11-18 12:45 AM ThreeCorners - 2013-11-17 8:04 AM From the information givin we dont know the whole story. It does sound like the child has some very deep seated issues. Now to what extents the parents went to to get this child the help he needed I do not know, but, there has to be somewhere the parents can turn to for help to keep themselves and their other children safe. Especially in light of the threats made. Obviously this wasnt a light dicision for those parents.
There was just a recient case in Washington State 2 parents who were just sentenced to 35 years in prisen for the death of their adopted daughter by abuse. They appearantly thought they had no where to turn and this death came by way of parenting gone wrong in a big way. Certainly not condoning their parenting choices, but.......It would have been better for ALL involved, the adopted daughter, the other children, and the 2 parents if they could have turned to someone. Back to the adoption agency or something.
Back to this case, how many caes have their been of adoptive families and/or parents being murdered by the adopted children? I know of one adopted child that shot his mother with a shotgun and killed her. They were friends of our family. He had a history of issues.
I have a feeling you're talking about Morrison, Oklahoma? I lived there when that happened. Drove by the house every day. The entire story is awful, because the kid didn't just have access to a gun. He had to crawl up into a closet, put the gun together, get the shells from another room & sit & wait for her to come in the house. The he chased her down the hall to shoot her.
Some people - children & adults both - are plain out Satan's work. |
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Expert
Posts: 1479
Location: rabbit run | RLB - 2013-11-18 1:31 PM TyE - 2013-11-18 12:45 AM ThreeCorners - 2013-11-17 8:04 AM From the information givin we dont know the whole story. It does sound like the child has some very deep seated issues. Now to what extents the parents went to to get this child the help he needed I do not know, but, there has to be somewhere the parents can turn to for help to keep themselves and their other children safe. Especially in light of the threats made. Obviously this wasnt a light dicision for those parents.
There was just a recient case in Washington State 2 parents who were just sentenced to 35 years in prisen for the death of their adopted daughter by abuse. They appearantly thought they had no where to turn and this death came by way of parenting gone wrong in a big way. Certainly not condoning their parenting choices, but.......It would have been better for ALL involved, the adopted daughter, the other children, and the 2 parents if they could have turned to someone. Back to the adoption agency or something.
Back to this case, how many caes have their been of adoptive families and/or parents being murdered by the adopted children? I know of one adopted child that shot his mother with a shotgun and killed her. They were friends of our family. He had a history of issues.
Some people - children & adults both - are plain out Satan's work.
Unfortunately that's an absolutely true statement. Not everyone can be fixed no matter how hard people who loved them try. It's so sad.
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Hungarian Midget Woman
Location: Midwest | I like how people know nothing about this child or the situation, yet they can be all
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Miss Southern Sunshine
Posts: 7427
Location: South Central Florida | lonely va barrelxr - 2013-11-18 2:10 PM My mother turned me over to the state when I was 17.
I'm adopted.
You can give an adopted child, or your own, over to the state if they are a danger to themselves or others.
The child goes into foster care if lucky, a Boys or Girls home if only slightly damaged or damaging, or some sort of institution if truly dangerous.
There are many scenarios where a parent would choose to relinquish their child. Dangerous is dangerous. You cannot force a person into behaving rationally if there the brain isn't rational. If this child has a psychosis then relinquishing the child back to state custody may be the first step in getting the child into a facility that can deal with the illness.
You and I talked a little about your youth, but I did not realize your Mom had done this. I'm so sorry that you had to go through that kind of life, but I'm also amazed that your have stepped out of box and become a wonderful healthy person. I also have a best friend that was adopted at birth. Her adoptive mother died when she was 6. Her adopted father passed away when she was 14. She had no other real family and though her adobtive parents were wealthy...distant family "took" her in until all the money was gone.
Sometimes life just sucks...but with the right help or internal strength people can make it. I hope this little boy and the parents can find peace.
I will pray for everyone in this situation. |
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 Looking for Lady Jockey
Posts: 3747
Location: Rodeos or Baseball games |  |
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 Regular
Posts: 67
| Prayers for this family and that little boy...I am sure there is much more to this story than what is being told in the newspaper...They had to make it catch headlines somehow.... |
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 Road Rash Expert
Posts: 5501
Location: Near San Antonio, TX | My friend has a little girl. She is only 6 years old (my daughter is 5). It is sad, but the 6 year old is big time, hugely not right. She has left barbies hanging by their neck with ropes all over, she stoof up in class and pointed her finger and said, "I am going to kill...each...and...every....one of you..." She will give evil looks to her teachers, class mates, etc and while giving the evil stare down will slide her finger across her throat (like " I am going to slit your throat" motion).
Also, she still wears a diaper. Her psychiatrist says because she likes "control." I forget what it is called, but she will hoard poop, like not go poop for a week, and then take a ginormous dump in her diaper and not let anyone change it for her. She has already killed small animals, and what is worse is her mom is expecting a baby boy. God be with that boy.
That poor girl just isn't right. And she is so young!
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Veteran
Posts: 183
| I don't mean to steal the subject here but how can we support lazy ass people on welfare for the majority of their lives but yet not have long term care and counseling for children...does not make sense to me!!!! |
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Shelter Dog Lover
Posts: 10277
| illlookup - 2013-11-18 3:50 PM I don't mean to steal the subject here but how can we support lazy ass people on welfare for the majority of their lives but yet not have long term care and counseling for children...does not make sense to me!!!!
Great point!! These kids need help before we have another tragedy. |
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 Left Out
Posts: 6795
Location: Silex Missouri | There is a couple I know who adopted a child from Germany or Russia I can't remember which. Long story short this child never "bonded" with anyone due to the situation in the orphanage she was in. and now has emotional issues. She is 9 or 10 and they are trying to find a "home" to put her in. Seriously? if this was your blood child would you simply find a home to put it in? |
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Uh....never mind
Posts: 2696
Location: Midwest Farmer's Daughter: Central Illinois | I think if you read enough about these types of situations, there are people who would love to find a home to put their children in whether they are blood or not. These children range from emotionally unavailable to dangerous & there are close to ZERO avenues when psychological help & medication does nothing. |
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Nut Case Expert
Posts: 9305
Location: Tulsa, Ok | RLB - 2013-11-18 4:00 PM I think if you read enough about these types of situations, there are people who would love to find a home to put their children in whether they are blood or not. These children range from emotionally unavailable to dangerous & there are close to ZERO avenues when psychological help & medication does nothing.
From what I understand and have observed, the possibilities can become non-exhistant for cases when all conventional intervention and medication has failed. Their families have to take into consideration the safety and preservation of the rest of the family as well as the unsuspecting public. There is no way in hell they can help a mentally ill child if their own sanity and/or life is sacrificed. |
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