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 Chicken Chick
Posts: 3562
   
Location: Texas | Just think, when you get her under control you get to use "the look", most amazing thing ever lol.
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 Miss Laundry Misshap
Posts: 5271
 
| I didn't go anywhere for the first 2 years of my life. I was the demon child. My parents stopped taking me places because I was a hellion. In the grocery store line I'd want a candy bar, I'd scream and scream. My mom would state if I would calm down I'd get the bar. I don't think I ever got a candy bar.
My mom tried the "send her to her room to time out" thing. I pulled out all of the drawers and piled clothes and papers in the middle of the floor. I was quiet though! LOL
I got Spanked for the bedroom ordeal. As well as a few others, like standing the middle of the road when I was told not to go near it. I was also slapped across the mouth when was a teenager because my mouth got the better of me. Because I knew respect, I stopped my mouth and certainly remember getting whacked across the face. Just once! But I sure remember it!
YOU are the adult. YOU know right from wrong. She doesn't. You will have to be her teacher, but you have to stand firm. A swat now and again, as well as sound punishment (my threat was always "NO HORSES if you do that". It worked!) Your daughter will come around. If she screams, she screams, but she doesn't get to go anywhere until she can control herself. If she screams in the store, stand your ground. Good Luck! |
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  Sweet Tea
Posts: 3496
Location: Home of the World Famous "Silver Bullet" | beat her ash !! before its to late !! we don't spank at our house, we beat the hell out of them. i don't care what other people think !!!! |
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 Undercover Amish Mafia Member
Posts: 9992
Location: Kansas | I do swat her butt, she acts like I'm murdering her though! She will throw herself on the ground dramatically and lay there crying, if I ignore her than she is fine....but once I look at her she will scream harder! |
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Industrial Srength Barrel Racer
Posts: 7268
| OMG - I feel SORRY for you! This is reason #15616544513 why I didn't have kids! Are there any parenting classes there you could take? I think the help of a pro might do good. Gawd, I would be in jail for child abuse if I had to deal with this! (Yes, I am terrible)! |
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Chicken Chick
Posts: 3562
Location: Texas | Our mom was not against pulling the car over (not just telling us she would), and whooping us. If we were going to ride horses and we misbehaved on the way, we sat and watched everyone else ride. One time I thought it would be funny to hide in the clothes racks at the store. (This was when everyone was freaking out over kids being abducted etc). I stayed close to them, but thought it was so funny that they were walking around calling for me almost frantically and I was hiding so well lol. I finally came out and got my butt whooped with a belt by my uncle right there in the store.... I still remember which store it was.
If we screamed at her, yelled at her, smarted off, or cussed we got popped in the mouth right then. Granted we were older then 2, I doubt she started off with the mouth popping... but we weren't much older.
My little sister had a phase when she was around 2 where she would lay down and kick and scream if she didn't get what she wanted at the store. My mom would bust her and put her in the basket and tell her she had to ride in the basket until she started being a big girl, it only took a few times before she didn't throw fits anymore.
Really though, we were well behaved kids and we knew that mom meant business. If we went to someone's house and she told us to sit on the couch and mind our manners... we sat there silent until it was time to leave. Afterward she would usually take us for ice cream or whatever, but that was never part of the deal. The deal was, if you are good you won't get your butt whooped... any other treats are because I am your mother and I love you lol. Bribery was not her thing... |
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Miss Laundry Misshap
Posts: 5271
| hoofs_in_motion - 2014-01-21 12:59 PM I do swat her butt, she acts like I'm murdering her though! She will throw herself on the ground dramatically and lay there crying, if I ignore her than she is fine....but once I look at her she will scream harder!
My dear, she has you whooped.
She knows when she deserves it. She knows when she can make you feel sorry for her. She's old enough to understand most language. Tell her that screaming will not change your mind. She will only get what she wants when she behaves. By giving in when she cries harder, you teach her manipulation. She's already becoming a master at 16 mo. Don't give in. |
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Expert
Posts: 1543
Location: MI | Hey Hoofs, you've gotten a lot of good advice on here, I'll try not to duplicate too much. Good for you for trying so hard, and asking questions - what works for one won't work for another, but generally if you get 2 or 3 different ideas 1 may work. One major thing to remember is NOT to take it personally. It's so hard sometimes, but believe it or not, most of the time a 16 month old isn't doing it "just to pi** you off", like my husband may think, lol. They are generally just testing limits. I had a history with sensory integration and how environments and etc. affect kids, so it was easier for me to look outside of the child and ask "is there anything else that is going on that is affecting this child?"
Sleep is imperative to good behavior, as well as food. If my kids are hungry or tired, they will turn into burning heathens. It helps me 'deal' with them in a less personal way, realizing this, although they are reminded and disciplined if they continue to act ugly as they are not allowed to act ugly even if they are tired or hungry.
My oldest daughter has a strong personality. I heard somewhere that the characteristics of our children that make us cry when parenting, are often the characteristics that God uses when they are older to make them who He needs them to be. I totally agree with this, lol. When my oldest dd was potty training, about the same age as your dd, we had 1 big 'fight' about using the potty, and then she was fine. When she moved into a toddler bed, same thing. We let her choose between her crib and her toddler bed for a while, but her sister was coming soon and I needed her to sleep in the toddler bed. She was totally testing me the whole time. There was 1 nap time where I spent 1-2 hours putting her down, she screamed and cried and tried to get out of her room. Then finally she went to bed and I had no problems with it after that. We were camping once about that same age and I asked her to apologize for something she said or did to her cousin, I don't even remember now! I sat in the camper for at least 45minutes with her crying because she was refusing. Then finally she decided that she would, and apologized and was able to go play.
Stick your guns mama. It doesn't mean being mean, just quietly definite. Feel free to PM if you need to chat or get anything off your chest, sometimes it's just talking about it that helps :) Many hugs!!! |
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Chicken Chick
Posts: 3562
Location: Texas | Nateracer - 2014-01-21 1:17 PM hoofs_in_motion - 2014-01-21 12:59 PM I do swat her butt, she acts like I'm murdering her though! She will throw herself on the ground dramatically and lay there crying, if I ignore her than she is fine....but once I look at her she will scream harder! My dear, she has you whooped.
She knows when she deserves it. She knows when she can make you feel sorry for her. She's old enough to understand most language. Tell her that screaming will not change your mind. She will only get what she wants when she behaves. By giving in when she cries harder, you teach her manipulation. She's already becoming a master at 16 mo. Don't give in.
My son can sometimes be quite dramatic, a splinter in his foot will have him limping for a week. lol
When he gets spanked, he is going to cry I understand that. If he thinks he is going to throw an all out fit I tell him he is going to get another if he doesn't dry it up and stop acting like that. If he keeps going, he gets another and I make sure he knows why he is getting another.
Discipline is so hard because they always seem to know when you are exhausted and just want them to be good for 10 minutes. That is the time they usually pull out all the stops because they think they can get away with it. They also know what pulls at your heart strings the most, and they will try it if it means they can do what they want and not get in trouble. You can't let them though.
Whatever discipline you choose, stick with it. Even when you just want to give up. |
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 Damn Yankee
Posts: 12390
Location: Somewhere between raising hell and Amazing Grace | I don't have kids so I don't have advice.....but spanking? All I can say is thank God there a still parents with some sense left In them. And thank God for spanking :). My mother always told me God made rear ends just for spankings. I believed her so I never found out if it was true. But seriously glad to see parents that do think spanking is ok when I've been surrounded by people that refuse to discipline their children.
OP, here's a cyber hug because I can't imagine how you feel |
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Expert
Posts: 1543
Location: MI | Honestly, a lot of times I had to remind myself that if she wasn't crying, I wasn't doing it right...
(not in an abusive way, at all, but I know that by her crying, the discipline was affecting her)
ETA - most of the time we got to this point by time outs, short reminders, and sticking to our guns. We don't spank, generally, unless it is a situation when I fear for their safety and need to make a strong point.
Know your limits - some parents can spank and be ok, some can't for whatever reason. If you feel the anger taking hold of you, please don't spank!
Edited by Ridenrun4745 2014-01-21 2:08 PM
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Elite Veteran
Posts: 1074
| I agree with spanking her. You've got to show her that you are the authority and she is not. With my strong-willed child, it takes a spanking, time-out and removal of toy. She knows we mean business and if we say no, it's no. We've walked out of stores without her toys or whatever she wanted, we've thrown toys away in front of her and she gets her butt torn up if she acts like that. You definitely want to get it under control before she gets any bigger or your problems will only multiply. You can do it. Hang in there! |
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 Sock eating dog owner
Posts: 4557
Location: Where the pavement ends and the West begins Utah | When she does that at home , turn on the shower on cold only pick her up throw her in the shower clothes and all and walk away. When she does it at the barn pick her up and drop her butt and all into the water trough. That will cool her tamtrum and give you a whole lot of respect with out the butt beating. Then when she doesn't acknowledge you dump her in the nearest drink. She will starti talking to you instead of screaming. Just a few times and she'll think twice. |
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 Elite Veteran
Posts: 822
Location: Southwest New Mexico | cow pie - 2014-01-21 1:11 PM
When she does that at home , turn on the shower on cold only pick her up throw her in the shower clothes and all and walk away. When she does it at the barn pick her up and drop her butt and all into the water trough. That will cool her tamtrum and give you a whole lot of respect with out the butt beating. Then when she doesn't acknowledge you dump her in the nearest drink. She will starti talking to you instead of screaming. Just a few times and she'll think twice.
that sounds worse than a butt whoopin!! |
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Extreme Veteran
Posts: 300
Location: Mayberry | I am glad to read that there are still those out there that believe in a good old fashioned spanking! I think that if kids know right off the bat you mean business that they are less likely to behave like brats. The most effective way I used to control bad behavior in public is the ear pull. It is quiet and highly effective, you calmly reach down and grab the ear between the thumb and forefinger and give a firm tug. It doesn't take long for kids to learn the louder they squeal the harder you pinch, after a couple of times all you will have to do is threaten and they reform quickly. I don't think my kids have had more than 2 or 3 spankings in their lives and they are 7 and 13, but they also understand that bad behavior will result in punishment. I think so many are afraid to discipline their kids in public and are afraid of being reported for child abuse we are creating a society filled with rotten little children that have absolutely no RESPECT for themselves or others. |
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 Accident Prone
Posts: 22277
Location: 100 miles from Nowhere, AR | Haha! The ear pull works wonders on my 8 year old. |
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Undercover Amish Mafia Member
Posts: 9992
Location: Kansas | cow pie - 2014-01-21 2:11 PM When she does that at home , turn on the shower on cold only pick her up throw her in the shower clothes and all and walk away. When she does it at the barn pick her up and drop her butt and all into the water trough. That will cool her tamtrum and give you a whole lot of respect with out the butt beating. Then when she doesn't acknowledge you dump her in the nearest drink. She will starti talking to you instead of screaming. Just a few times and she'll think twice.
I never thought about that, I'll try that this evening.
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 Swiffer PIcker Upper
Posts: 4015
Location: Four Corners Colorado | hoofs_in_motion - 2014-01-21 1:46 PM cow pie - 2014-01-21 2:11 PM When she does that at home , turn on the shower on cold only pick her up throw her in the shower clothes and all and walk away. When she does it at the barn pick her up and drop her butt and all into the water trough. That will cool her tamtrum and give you a whole lot of respect with out the butt beating. Then when she doesn't acknowledge you dump her in the nearest drink. She will starti talking to you instead of screaming. Just a few times and she'll think twice. I never thought about that, I'll try that this evening.
Honestly I'd just try following through with timeout and not letting her out till she wants to be good. The last thing you want is to do get her scared of baths. |
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Elite Veteran
Posts: 1094
Location: Idahome | missroselee - 2014-01-21 12:37 PM I don't have kids so I don't have advice.....but spanking? All I can say is thank God there a still parents with some sense left In them. And thank God for spanking :). My mother always told me God made rear ends just for spankings. I believed her so I never found out if it was true. But seriously glad to see parents that do think spanking is ok when I've been surrounded by people that refuse to discipline their children.
OP, here's a cyber hug because I can't imagine how you feel
I love this and will have to keep it in mind. We may have to add that line with Santa, Easter Bunny and Tooth Fairy are all real. |
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Accident Prone
Posts: 22277
Location: 100 miles from Nowhere, AR | I was just thinking--I know, scary--and don't feel like the Lone Ranger here. If we're honest, we have all been in a situation with one of our kids where we have to take a step back and admit what we're doing isn't working and needs to change. I applaud you for admitting that there is an issue you need to address differently and asking for help. |
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