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 Cheers!
Posts: 1127
  
Location: Its on the House | Cindy Hamilton - 2014-04-23 4:31 PM kickincans - 2014-04-23 4:06 PM The kids are home schooled and husband is self employed, that is another thing I brought up, I got off at 4 why couldn't this be done when I got ho Because he doesn't want you there.
Bull's Eye |
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 A Barrel Of Monkeys
Posts: 12972
  
Location: Texas | So what's in it for him with inviting these people over all the time? I mean, I doubt he is just being "nice." If he is the type who likes to be admired and appreciated, you have more problems than you think. Narcissist comes to mind.
Really, I was married to a man like your husband. It broke my heart when we divorced, but funny how God has a plan. I'm so much happier without him and all his BS.
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Elite Veteran
Posts: 616
Location: Texas | crackerjack - 2014-04-23 4:09 PM
Fact - you do not trust him
Fact - he's cheated on you twice
I don't blame you, I would not like the situation you're in but he just might be taking an interest in the boy and girl to get to develop a relationship with their Mom. IMO, I would "give him enough rope to hang him". Let him do whatever, whenever. You're right, if he wants to cheat, he will and if he does, I would not want him! If you keep letting him know you do not trust him, that is not going to work.
"he just might be taking an interest in the boy and girl to get to develop a relationship with their Mom"
Those are my thoughts, we were at a roping Sat he called the boy asked him to come rope, not too long later here comes the mom with her boyfriend, an hr or so later I see the BF going to the bathroom she heads down to the end of the pen where her son is, my husband just happened to be sitting beside him, I see this happening so I walk up behind them, I didn't hear much just the boy telling my husband that he was going to leave, him and another kid is going to go chase women..... My husband's response "there ain't a whole lot of women here old enough for me to be chasing... I didn't say a word just walked away, so during our heated discussion yesterday, I ask if that was a hint to her that he would chase if given the go ahead |
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  Warmblood with Wings
Posts: 27846
Location: Florida.. | kickincans - 2014-04-23 3:21 PM I am a mess today, my husband and I are not speaking. During the past 2 months a 18 year old girl and her brother are showing up at my house to rope, they are from a recently divorced family, the father is not in the picture, they live with the mother, the mother showed up with them once, I may be wrong but I told my husband I did Not want them there unless I was home too. I am not fond of the fact I am at work and a divorced woman is at my house with my husband while I am at work, and she has only came once but it can happen again,that being said she has a so called boyfriend which was her best friend's husband, that's the reason behind all these feelings I am having..... My husband and I have split up twice before, each time he was cheating. I know I asked for this, but anyway I get home from work yesterday and the two kids are there ,she isn't, but I told him I did not want them there unless I was home , so I am the B&@$& now and I was called that 4 times yesterday. The kids keep coming over because my husband keeps inviting them.... Am I being a b$@&$???? Just need an outsiders thoughts all of a sudden a womans kids are coming over.. right after she divorces.. maybe dad left her for cheating on him..
think.............you do not know if Momma dearest is there during the day.. he isnt going to tell you.. to cozy to me
Edited by Bibliafarm 2014-04-23 7:56 PM
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Elite Veteran
Posts: 616
Location: Texas | Yes I know he isn't going to tell me, I work 25 min from home so if she is there I probably won't know. I know the solution to all this it just hurts right now to think I have allowed myself to be treated this way |
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 Miss Laundry Misshap
Posts: 5271
| kickincans - 2014-04-23 8:22 PM
Yes I know he isn't going to tell me, I work 25 min from home so if she is there I probably won't know. I know the solution to all this it just hurts right now to think I have allowed myself to be treated this way
Knowing is 1/2 the battle. The other 1/2 is the action it takes to give him permission to be with whoever he wants...which isn't going to be you anymore! Set yourself free. |
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Elite Veteran
Posts: 616
Location: Texas | Nateracer - 2014-04-23 8:26 PM
kickincans - 2014-04-23 8:22 PM
Yes I know he isn't going to tell me, I work 25 min from home so if she is there I probably won't know. I know the solution to all this it just hurts right now to think I have allowed myself to be treated this way
Knowing is 1/2 the battle. The other 1/2 is the action it takes to give him permission to be with whoever he wants...which isn't going to be you anymore! Set yourself free.
That's the hardest half is letting go of someone you have spent 12 years with and learning how not to love that person anymore
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 You get what you give
Posts: 13030
Location: Texas | kickincans - 2014-04-23 8:29 PM
Nateracer - 2014-04-23 8:26 PM
kickincans - 2014-04-23 8:22 PM
Yes I know he isn't going to tell me, I work 25 min from home so if she is there I probably won't know. I know the solution to all this it just hurts right now to think I have allowed myself to be treated this way
Knowing is 1/2 the battle. The other 1/2 is the action it takes to give him permission to be with whoever he wants...which isn't going to be you anymore! Set yourself free.
That's the hardest half is letting go of someone you have spent 12 years with and learning how not to love that person anymore
I will pray for you. I don't have much advice because I haven't been there myself. Prayers that you will find strength and courage to get you through this rough time.
Have you tried counseling? |
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Elite Veteran
Posts: 616
Location: Texas | casualdust07 - 2014-04-23 8:42 PM
kickincans - 2014-04-23 8:29 PM
Nateracer - 2014-04-23 8:26 PM
kickincans - 2014-04-23 8:22 PM
Yes I know he isn't going to tell me, I work 25 min from home so if she is there I probably won't know. I know the solution to all this it just hurts right now to think I have allowed myself to be treated this way
Knowing is 1/2 the battle. The other 1/2 is the action it takes to give him permission to be with whoever he wants...which isn't going to be you anymore! Set yourself free.
That's the hardest half is letting go of someone you have spent 12 years with and learning how not to love that person anymore
I will pray for you. I don't have much advice because I haven't been there myself. Prayers that you will find strength and courage to get you through this rough time.
Have you tried counseling?
Thank you for the prayers,my husband and I did that when we got back together 4years ago, it helped, so maybe I could find someone to help me with my situation now |
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 Love Me Some Robert Redford
Posts: 2335
Location: WV | It's not that your feelings will be turned off from this man if something happened. It would mean you were able to move on and have some peace in your life. You would doing yourself a favor in the long run and saving yourself a lot of grief. Trust will always be an issue in your relationship if you can not get past what has happened and it does not sound like you are anywhere near close to that happening. Maybe some therapy would help. This will consume you if you do not get a hold of it now. I am sorry for what you are going threw but you also have the power to make it better. You are worth reaching for something better. This is just my thought on the situation from what I have read on here. Best of Luck. |
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Elite Veteran
Posts: 616
Location: Texas | mam0329 - 2014-04-23 8:50 PM
It's not that your feelings will be turned off from this man if something happened. It would mean you were able to move on and have some peace in your life. You would doing yourself a favor in the long run and saving yourself a lot of grief. Trust will always be an issue in your relationship if you can not get past what has happened and it does not sound like you are anywhere near close to that happening. Maybe some therapy would help. This will consume you if you do not get a hold of it now. I am sorry for what you are going threw but you also have the power to make it better. You are worth reaching for something better. This is just my thought on the situation from what I have read on here. Best of Luck.
Your right , it has already started consuming me. That is how I got to today, letting this eat at me, now i am a total wreck, had a hard time just getting thru work today |
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The Advice Guru
Posts: 6419
| You said you prayed 4 years ago, maybe go see your priest/pastor/reverend and seek guidance from him/her |
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10D Crack Champion
| Just don't come home until really late. When he asks where you were, tell him a recently divorced man asked you to help his twin 18 or 21 year old male model sons learn to ride horses at handsome divorced man's house. Then sucker punch him in the gut and run!
Actually just listen to Cindy Hamiliton. Her advice sounds better than mine. I think she is right on with her evaluation of your situation. You could use my advice first and then do whatever everyone else says just for the heck of it.
Edited by sodapop 2014-04-23 10:32 PM
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 Roan On The Range
Posts: 7889
Location: Stephenville, TX | Men who require a short leash are not worth the effort.
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 Living in Denial and Loving it
Posts: 1555
Location: minnesota | Leave him!!
Why put yourself through the misery of being cheated on again and again. Pack your bags and take your self respect with you. Being with a person like this will just turn you into a miserable, self loathing, pessimist. Leaving will only hurt for awhile, but staying will hurt forever.
Once a cheater, always a cheater. He's proven your feelings are worth nothing more to him than the dirt under his feet. Just move on. |
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Veteran
Posts: 165
| kickincans - 2014-04-23 7:44 PM
crackerjack - 2014-04-23 4:09 PM
Fact - you do not trust him
Fact - he's cheated on you twice
I don't blame you, I would not like the situation you're in but he just might be taking an interest in the boy and girl to get to develop a relationship with their Mom. IMO, I would "give him enough rope to hang him". Let him do whatever, whenever. You're right, if he wants to cheat, he will and if he does, I would not want him! If you keep letting him know you do not trust him, that is not going to work.
"he just might be taking an interest in the boy and girl to get to develop a relationship with their Mom"
Those are my thoughts, we were at a roping Sat he called the boy asked him to come rope, not too long later here comes the mom with her boyfriend, an hr or so later I see the BF going to the bathroom she heads down to the end of the pen where her son is, my husband just happened to be sitting beside him, I see this happening so I walk up behind them, I didn't hear much just the boy telling my husband that he was going to leave, him and another kid is going to go chase women..... My husband's response "there ain't a whole lot of women here old enough for me to be chasing... I didn't say a word just walked away, so during our heated discussion yesterday, I ask if that was a hint to her that he would chase if given the go ahead
If I overheard my husband saying there aint a whole lot of women here old enough for me to chase, I would be so furious, and hurt! Married men should not be talking like that. Ever! |
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 Elite Veteran
Posts: 889
Location: Kansas | There is a big difference between "loving" someone and being "in love" with someone. Once I learned the difference it was much easier to let go of my hurt feelings. I still "love" this person, but am not "in love" with them. Not sure if that makes any sense. However, that line of thinking and realization, for me allowed me to move on from a bad situation, in the past. Hoping you find peace in whatever you do. |
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Elite Veteran
Posts: 616
Location: Texas | JazzyGirl - 2014-04-23 11:26 PM
Leave him!!
Why put yourself through the misery of being cheated on again and again. Pack your bags and take your self respect with you. Being with a person like this will just turn you into a miserable, self loathing, pessimist. Leaving will only hurt for awhile, but staying will hurt forever.
Once a cheater, always a cheater. He's proven your feelings are worth nothing more to him than the dirt under his feet. Just move on.
These words are so very right
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 Forever Young
Posts: 6768
Location: relocated to Texas | kickincans - 2014-04-24 6:44 PM crackerjack - 2014-04-23 4:09 PM Fact - you do not trust him Fact - he's cheated on you twice I don't blame you, I would not like the situation you're in but he just might be taking an interest in the boy and girl to get to develop a relationship with their Mom. IMO, I would "give him enough rope to hang him". Let him do whatever, whenever. You're right, if he wants to cheat, he will and if he does, I would not want him! If you keep letting him know you do not trust him, that is not going to work. "he just might be taking an interest in the boy and girl to get to develop a relationship with their Mom" Those are my thoughts, we were at a roping Sat he called the boy asked him to come rope, not too long later here comes the mom with her boyfriend, an hr or so later I see the BF going to the bathroom she heads down to the end of the pen where her son is, my husband just happened to be sitting beside him, I see this happening so I walk up behind them, I didn't hear much just the boy telling my husband that he was going to leave, him and another kid is going to go chase women..... My husband's response "there ain't a whole lot of women here old enough for me to be chasing... I didn't say a word just walked away, so during our heated discussion yesterday, I ask if that was a hint to her that he would chase if given the go ahead
Make the decision that you like and respect yourself enough to walk away from someone who treats you like this.
I will add that he is really an insecure, little man. He is trying to make himself feel good by getting attention from women. This is about HIM, not about YOU. If you leave him, he will likely come crying wanting you back (speaking from experience here). Since he has already cheated TWICE, I would not give him a chance to do it a third time. He burned his right to be your husband card.
Edited by Hollywood's Fan 2014-04-24 9:27 AM
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 Ima Fickle Fan
Posts: 3547
Location: Texas | Glittergirl - 2014-04-23 11:34 PM kickincans - 2014-04-23 7:44 PM crackerjack - 2014-04-23 4:09 PM Fact - you do not trust him Fact - he's cheated on you twice I don't blame you, I would not like the situation you're in but he just might be taking an interest in the boy and girl to get to develop a relationship with their Mom. IMO, I would "give him enough rope to hang him". Let him do whatever, whenever. You're right, if he wants to cheat, he will and if he does, I would not want him! If you keep letting him know you do not trust him, that is not going to work. "he just might be taking an interest in the boy and girl to get to develop a relationship with their Mom" Those are my thoughts, we were at a roping Sat he called the boy asked him to come rope, not too long later here comes the mom with her boyfriend, an hr or so later I see the BF going to the bathroom she heads down to the end of the pen where her son is, my husband just happened to be sitting beside him, I see this happening so I walk up behind them, I didn't hear much just the boy telling my husband that he was going to leave, him and another kid is going to go chase women..... My husband's response "there ain't a whole lot of women here old enough for me to be chasing... I didn't say a word just walked away, so during our heated discussion yesterday, I ask if that was a hint to her that he would chase if given the go ahead If I overheard my husband saying there aint a whole lot of women here old enough for me to chase, I would be so furious, and hurt! Married men should not be talking like that. Ever!
If I ever heard those words out of my husband's mouth, I would start doing a lot of planning and preparing. I would get all of my ducks in a row. I'd let him think everything was hunky-dorey and then I would slap him upside the head with divorce papers.
That comment tells me he has no respect for you or your relationship. Give him enough time and he'll cheat again. He hasn't changed his ways; he's just waiting for the opportunity. Sorry. |
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