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Location: louisiana | SuckerForHorses - 2014-07-10 2:49 PM
jw1990 - 2014-07-10 1:59 PM
thankyou all for the input, its been goin on for about 4 months now all his friends just got single so they are wanting to live it up an cant manage with out him there unfortunately, he has once told them no they showed up at my house to pick him up since he lives with me. they all have great high payin jobs but still have the frat boy mentality on partying all the time
So he's hanging out partying with a bunch of single guys?
Not just "no!" but "hell NO!"
Send him packing.
yes wanting to every single weekend, im totally not against guy time at all im for it but not Thursday-sunday and always wantin me to find someone to watch my dog and feed my horses so I can go party with them, I will do that maybe once a month but I don't like pawning my animals off on ppl every weekend just cuz its summer time and they wanna take lil trips to go sit on the beach and party |
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 Undercover Amish Mafia Member
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Location: Kansas | jw1990 - 2014-07-10 2:53 PM SuckerForHorses - 2014-07-10 2:49 PM jw1990 - 2014-07-10 1:59 PM thankyou all for the input, its been goin on for about 4 months now all his friends just got single so they are wanting to live it up an cant manage with out him there unfortunately, he has once told them no they showed up at my house to pick him up since he lives with me. they all have great high payin jobs but still have the frat boy mentality on partying all the time So he's hanging out partying with a bunch of single guys? Not just "no!" but "hell NO!" Send him packing. yes wanting to every single weekend, im totally not against guy time at all im for it but not Thursday-sunday and always wantin me to find someone to watch my dog and feed my horses so I can go party with them, I will do that maybe once a month but I don't like pawning my animals off on ppl every weekend just cuz its summer time and they wanna take lil trips to go sit on the beach and party
Well then let me tell you what to do.......pull up your big girl panties and make a stand for yourself. If you don't want to go....you tell him. If he gets upset, let him pout. Honestly, if he were my boyfriend, I would have slapped him upside his head...told him to grow up...then walked out. Sorry but my animals matter more to me than a guy who has no respect for me.
Just my 2 cents. |
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Extreme Veteran
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| I wouldn't have an issue with guy time either.
It's his behavior towards you and your relationship that I would have an issue with, combined with the fact that he's getting trashed almost every night of the week with SINGLE guys.
Sounds like a real piece of work, and based on his behavior towards you, I wouldn't trust him out drinking with his single buddies. |
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Extreme Veteran
Posts: 330
| hoofs_in_motion - 2014-07-10 3:55 PM jw1990 - 2014-07-10 2:53 PM SuckerForHorses - 2014-07-10 2:49 PM jw1990 - 2014-07-10 1:59 PM thankyou all for the input, its been goin on for about 4 months now all his friends just got single so they are wanting to live it up an cant manage with out him there unfortunately, he has once told them no they showed up at my house to pick him up since he lives with me. they all have great high payin jobs but still have the frat boy mentality on partying all the time So he's hanging out partying with a bunch of single guys? Not just "no!" but "hell NO!" Send him packing. yes wanting to every single weekend, im totally not against guy time at all im for it but not Thursday-sunday and always wantin me to find someone to watch my dog and feed my horses so I can go party with them, I will do that maybe once a month but I don't like pawning my animals off on ppl every weekend just cuz its summer time and they wanna take lil trips to go sit on the beach and party
Just my 2 cents.
Here, here! |
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Extreme Veteran
Posts: 330
| He's 24, but how old are you?
I ask because this sounds very familiar to me and how it was with my first real long term boyfriend. |
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Veteran
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Location: louisiana | SuckerForHorses - 2014-07-10 3:00 PM
He's 24, but how old are you?
I ask because this sounds very familiar to me and how it was with my first real long term boyfriend.
I am also 24 just 6 months younger than him |
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 Expert
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| jw1990 - 2014-07-10 3:18 PM
SuckerForHorses - 2014-07-10 3:00 PM
He's 24, but how old are you?
I ask because this sounds very familiar to me and how it was with my first real long term boyfriend.
I am also 24 just 6 months younger than him
Oh honey! you got plenty of time to find the right one, don't waste your younger years being unhappy and filled with drama. You should be out there doing what you love every weekend, not wasting it feeling guilty or stuck with people you don't like! If he don't like, tell him to pack his stuff and go live with his buddies that he thinks he needs soooo bad. If he cares about you, he'll try coming back. My husband and I dated for 6 months and then split for 2 years because he wasn't ready to grow up. it was obviously meant to be because 2 years later we ran into each other and were married 2 years later, been together over 10 years now with 2 kids. Don't waste your youth on someone not ready to care for anyone but themselves. |
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 Elite Veteran
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Location: Do I hear Banjos? | Six months younger and more mature in many ways it seems. But I think the key thing I'm getting here is that you are selling yourself short. He is not apparently mature enough to be in a live in relationship. He wants to live the single party guy lifestyle...not the happily committed grown up life.
He lives in your house...and then disrespects you in it. Does he pull his weight in terms of finances for daily life? (housing costs/bills/etc?) Does he do his share of the work to maintian the place (tough to do when he parties Thurs-Sunday I'm guessing) If the answer to those questions is No...I just don't think there's much in it for you with this relationship in it's current state. Things would have to change if I were in your shoes.
I love to have fun. We do a lot of really fun stuff together and occasionally that's going to a party at a frien's place. But that NEVER interferes with the care of the animals that depend on us...and it's only a very small part of our time together. Any man that would want you to pawn off your responsibilities for the animals so often and not see them as his responsibility too is NOT a partner. He is a boy playing house when it suits him. |
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Location: louisiana | TrailGirl - 2014-07-10 3:36 PM
Six months younger and more mature in many ways it seems. But I think the key thing I'm getting here is that you are selling yourself short. Â He is not apparently mature enough to be in a live in relationship. Â He wants to live the single party guy lifestyle...not the happily committed grown up life.
He lives in your house...and then disrespects you in it.  Does he pull his weight in terms of finances for daily life? (housing costs/bills/etc?)  Does he do his share of the work to maintian the place  (tough to do when he parties Thurs-Sunday I'm guessing)  If the answer to those questions is No...I just don't think there's much in it for you with this relationship in it's current state.  Things would have to change if I were in your shoes.
I love to have fun. Â We do a lot of really fun stuff together and occasionally that's going to a party at a frien's place. Â But that NEVER interferes with the care of the animals that depend on us...and it's only a very small part of our time together. Any man that would want you to pawn off your responsibilities for the animals so often and not see them as his responsibility too is NOT a partner. He is a boy playing house when it suits him.
he does pay his share of the bills also gets up in the morning to feed all the animals since he is more of morning person than me, and we used to be able to go do fun things together, when his friends where in a relationship we would go over hang for a little bit then head home knowing I ha animals and stuff to tend to why he thnks its changed just cause he lives with me now ill never know. he used to live an hour away so when he was in on the weekends he just wanted to see me, and I guess now that he sees me every day he wants to spend time with his buddies idk |
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 Elite Veteran
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| jw1990 - 2014-07-09 2:13 PM
Nothing to with horses but, the boyfriend wants to spend every weekend with his friends (brings me along cuz he wants to) but im getting tired of seeing them every weekend their main goal is just to drink and party, which is totally not me im not into the drinkin games and partyin all night every weekend. We do live together everything else is great between and he finds nothing wrong with spendin every weekend and get aways with them....so now I feel like the bad person when I say I don't wanna go see them or he gets mad when im ready to go home
Let him go hang out with his friends by himself. If he is a good boyfriend, He will want to start hanging out with you more. |
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Expert
Posts: 1857
| jw1990 - 2014-07-10 3:43 PM
TrailGirl - 2014-07-10 3:36 PM
Six months younger and more mature in many ways it seems. But I think the key thing I'm getting here is that you are selling yourself short. Â He is not apparently mature enough to be in a live in relationship. Â He wants to live the single party guy lifestyle...not the happily committed grown up life.
He lives in your house...and then disrespects you in it.  Does he pull his weight in terms of finances for daily life? (housing costs/bills/etc?)  Does he do his share of the work to maintian the place  (tough to do when he parties Thurs-Sunday I'm guessing)  If the answer to those questions is No...I just don't think there's much in it for you with this relationship in it's current state.  Things would have to change if I were in your shoes.
I love to have fun. Â We do a lot of really fun stuff together and occasionally that's going to a party at a frien's place. Â But that NEVER interferes with the care of the animals that depend on us...and it's only a very small part of our time together. Any man that would want you to pawn off your responsibilities for the animals so often and not see them as his responsibility too is NOT a partner. He is a boy playing house when it suits him.
he does pay his share of the bills also gets up in the morning to feed all the animals since he is more of morning person than me, and we used to be able to go do fun things together, when his friends where in a relationship we would go over hang for a little bit then head home knowing I ha animals and stuff to tend to why he thnks its changed just cause he lives with me now ill never know. he used to live an hour away so when he was in on the weekends he just wanted to see me, and I guess now that he sees me every day he wants to spend time with his buddies idk
how long has it been going on? |
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Veteran
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Location: louisiana | FlyingJT - 2014-07-10 3:45 PM
jw1990 - 2014-07-10 3:43 PM
TrailGirl - 2014-07-10 3:36 PM
Six months younger and more mature in many ways it seems. But I think the key thing I'm getting here is that you are selling yourself short. Â He is not apparently mature enough to be in a live in relationship. Â He wants to live the single party guy lifestyle...not the happily committed grown up life.
He lives in your house...and then disrespects you in it.  Does he pull his weight in terms of finances for daily life? (housing costs/bills/etc?)  Does he do his share of the work to maintian the place  (tough to do when he parties Thurs-Sunday I'm guessing)  If the answer to those questions is No...I just don't think there's much in it for you with this relationship in it's current state.  Things would have to change if I were in your shoes.
I love to have fun. Â We do a lot of really fun stuff together and occasionally that's going to a party at a frien's place. Â But that NEVER interferes with the care of the animals that depend on us...and it's only a very small part of our time together. Any man that would want you to pawn off your responsibilities for the animals so often and not see them as his responsibility too is NOT a partner. He is a boy playing house when it suits him.
he does pay his share of the bills also gets up in the morning to feed all the animals since he is more of morning person than me, and we used to be able to go do fun things together, when his friends where in a relationship we would go over hang for a little bit then head home knowing I ha animals and stuff to tend to why he thnks its changed just cause he lives with me now ill never know. he used to live an hour away so when he was in on the weekends he just wanted to see me, and I guess now that he sees me every day he wants to spend time with his buddies idk
how long has it been going on?
about 4 months now only been living with me for about 2 months
Edited by jw1990 2014-07-10 3:47 PM
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Elite Veteran
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Location: Do I hear Banjos? | Well that's all really good to know...that he does contribute.
I think he has just started taking you for granted some since you now live together and he figures he gets to see you "all the time". How long have you been living together?
Edit because I see your answer now of 2 months.
You know there is always an adjustment to living together. I'd say it's time for some discussion with him. Get on the same page. We teach people how to treat us. He was doing this for 2 months BEFORE he moved in...hmmm
Edited by TrailGirl 2014-07-10 3:51 PM
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  That's White "Man" to You
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| Does he have and is he able to maintain employment? |
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Veteran
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Location: louisiana | TrailGirl - 2014-07-10 3:49 PM
Well that's all really good to know...that he does contribute.
I think he has just started taking you for granted some since you now live together and he figures he gets to see you "all the time". Â How long have you been living together?
Â
we have been together for over a year |
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Location: louisiana | Whiteboy - 2014-07-10 3:49 PM
Does he have and is he able to maintain employment?Â
yes he has a very good well payin job, its an hour and a half away from where he lives so he is looking for once closer to home now, I mean hes not at all POS just this partyin stage is getting very tiresome |
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Elite Veteran
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| professional bachelors.... that's what this group will become. Might very well last into their 30s. Guys who love to party and pull decent incomes at good jobs. These types make fun friends but terrible boyfriends. I'd say move on. |
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Location: louisiana | star1218 - 2014-07-10 3:53 PM
professional bachelors.... that's what this group will become. Might very well last into their 30s. Guys who love to party and pull decent incomes at good jobs. These types make fun friends but terrible boyfriends. I'd say move on. Â
that is the perfect name for it!! there is about 5 of them and 3 of them are room mates in big huge house wanting my bf to live there also but he opted out and wanted to live with me instead |
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Elite Veteran
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Location: Do I hear Banjos? | If you want to stick with it and try to make it better...you will have to talk with him. See where there can be compromise. If he just goes off alone with his single buddies every weekend...that would be a deal breaker for me this early in a relationship. But is he will compromise and be more even in doing things as a couple some of those weekends/weekend days...maybe go from there.
He was doing this for 2 months before you had him move in...so he likely figured that would be how things would stay. Now it may seem to him that you are changing the rules...when all along you never wanted to be doing it. Communicate your needs. If he won't meet in the middle...I know it is harsh to say...but I'd not waste more time |
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Elite Veteran
Posts: 1182
Location: Do I hear Banjos? | jw1990 - 2014-07-10 3:55 PM star1218 - 2014-07-10 3:53 PM professional bachelors.... that's what this group will become. Might very well last into their 30s. Guys who love to party and pull decent incomes at good jobs. These types make fun friends but terrible boyfriends. I'd say move on. that is the perfect name for it!! there is about 5 of them and 3 of them are room mates in big huge house wanting my bf to live there also but he opted out and wanted to live with me instead
Yeah?...maybe because living with you has more over all benefits for him. But what is in it for you? That's what you have to decide. |
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