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 Elite Veteran
Posts: 602
 
| Sorry for your loss. The last thing you need is a nagging MIL bugging you about stupid thank you notes. Im sure at one point, you will lose your cool and tell her to go kick rocks. Anyone in your life knows your sensitive situation and Im sure they dont expect a thank you note for the baby gifts. Take time to grieve.... prayers to you and your husband.  |
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 Worst.Housekeeper.EVER.
 
Location: Missouri | 5 weeks ago this happened??? I lost a pregnancy this year. I'm barely back together and it's been months. Please take time to heal without worrying about how others feel. You are allowed to be broken, to hurt, to feel angry, sad, and whatever else you need to feel to get through this. You should NOT have to worry about thank you notes! I am so sorry you are feeling this pressure. It makes me so sad for you. Please have your husband shut her up! She should be bringing you meals, cleaning your house, letting you cry on her shoulder, holding you through your pain...not harassing you! (my MIL disappeared, which really upset me. But after reading this, I'm kinda glad! ;) )
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 Ima Fickle Fan
Posts: 3547
 
Location: Texas | I wish I could just give you a hug. As a parent, you have experienced our worst fears come true and I hurt for you. Saying sorry for your loss doesn't even begin to convey me hurting for you or begin to lessen your pain.
Your MIL needs to step back and recognize what you are going through. And maybe this is her way of handling the pain, not that it makes it acceptable behavior.
I wouldn't expect a thank you card from you. Instead, I would be asking what I could do for you, And if you lived close, I'd be bringing casseroles and valium. (Only if I could find it.) No one who knows what you are going through expects a card. And if they ask about it, they'll feel like an A$$ when they hear about your loss.
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 Elite Veteran
Posts: 929
| OMG your story just struck total fear in my heart as I am 7 months pregnant with my first and everything is "normal." I cannot imagine what you are going through right now and honestly I would have your husband tell your MIL to do WHATEVER it takes to get what SHE feels necessary. If that means writing the letters herself, then do so. If she expects you to write them...then it will have to wait. And if it was me I would tell my husband to tell her the next time she brings it up she will be lucky to escape the house without being stabbed or suffocated. OMG I can't IMAGINE!!! That is SO RUDE and SO INSENSITIVE at the moment. They are only CARDS!!! |
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Good Ole Boys just Fine with Me
Posts: 2869
Location: SE Missouri | I am so very sorry for your loss. I can't imagine and you and your husband will be in my prayers.
On your MIL, I would have the hubby tell her to back off and I don't think I could let her write them personally. It's entirely too soon to be worried about Thank You cards. I will say that if you do it sooner rather than later, it might/maybe/possibly help remind you of how many people love and care about you guys... It may in some miniscule way show a little glimmer that you aren't on your own island as you deal with extremely sad time. I'm so very sorry, this just breaks my heart..
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  Ms. Marine
Posts: 4641
Location: Texas | I have no advice. I just wanted to let you know that you and your husband are in my prayers. I am so sorry for your loss...
Edited by BarrelRacing4Christ 2014-09-19 10:38 PM
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 Expert
Posts: 3534
Location: Stuck in a cubicle having tropical thoughts | abrooks - 2014-09-19 1:05 PM I am so very sorry for your loss. I can't imagine and you and your husband will be in my prayers.
On your MIL, I would have the hubby tell her to back off and I don't think I could let her write them personally. It's entirely too soon to be worried about Thank You cards. I will say that if you do it sooner rather than later, it might/maybe/possibly help remind you of how many people love and care about you guys... It may in some miniscule way show a little glimmer that you aren't on your own island as you deal with extremely sad time. I'm so very sorry, this just breaks my heart..
This is how I feel. I feel like if they are going to be written at all, they should come from my husband and myself. I don't really know how to describe it but I think I'd feel even worse if she sent them out because they would not be genuine. They would just be sent out because she feels they HAVE to. |
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 No Tune in a Bucket
Posts: 2935
Location: Texas | docschic - 2014-09-17 1:15 PM Ok, I'm the odd man out and do think that Thank yous should be written for both shower gifts and memorials/flowers BUT in your own time. I guess I've never been to a funeral where a memorial or flowers has been given and a thank you note wasn't recieved. However as someone else said, if you MIL offered to write the Thank You's then let her take that burden from you during this most difficult time.
^^^^ I may be in the minority, but I agree with this.
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