RidenFly - 2014-10-17 1:28 PM I don't believe for one instant the happiest couples are childless.  Where do they come up with this?  



I knew I wanted them when they started arriving.  I knew I didn't when Walmart clothes wasn't good enough.  Then they have the audacity to ask me which ones are my favorite.  "I don't like any of you!"  



 



The truth is, I love my babies.  Now I have grandbabies and I couldn't imagine life without them.

jkrm - 2014-10-17 5:25 PM  

Racey Stacey - 2014-10-17 1:43 PM I have always said I didn't want any kids.  Heard all the same things you did, blah blah blah.  Loved kids, always had them around, but did NOT do babies..  Then, I got pregnant...  Everyone knew I was so adamant about not having kids that several, including my own mother, didn't believe me when I told them I was pregnant...  I cried every single day for the first 3 months because I did not want to be pregnant or have kids...  Then I had my first ultrasound and everything changed.  When you see that little something growing inside of you, it is simply amazing.  No words can really pin point how that moment changed my mind.  From that point on, I could not wait to have my baby.  I had a pretty simple pregnancy and stayed extremely active the entire time.  I was up bouncing around after a few hours of giving birth.  Felt great.  My little girl is beyond the best thing to ever happen to me.  She is my life.  I didn't know what I was missing out on by not having a child.  I didn't know true love until I laid eyes on Stella.  I agree that kids aren't for everyone but if you're considering it, your mother instinct will kick in during the baby stage.  I wasn't worried about how I would be but it's more than obvious that a few friends/family were.  HA  I hear constantly how great of a mother I am and how they couldn't believe I'd have kids or be that kind of mother, blah blah blah.  I am always like you saw/see how I take care of my animals, which is better than most people live so what would make you think I'd treat a human any different?!?!  And one other thing I love more than anything is the barn/horse time my daughter and I spend together.  I think she has a passion for it more than I do/did at her age.  She is only 4 and tells everyone she's going to be a veteranian. 

Whiteboy - 2014-10-17 5:18 PM There is nothing better than when I walk in the door from work and my 2 year old runs up to me yelling, "Datty" and give me a big hug around my leg.  No "thing" in this world can ever compare. 



I'm probably gonna get flamed for this, but...I feel really sorry for anybody that will never know that kind of happiness.   



I also wonder if the collapse in moral values in our nation is at least in part because of the lack of interest in marriage and families.  If people have nothing to worry about but "themselves" why would they care about the future? (I know this isn't true with everyone)

Whiteboy - 2014-10-17 6:18 PM

I'm probably gonna get flamed for this, but...I feel really sorry for anybody that will never know that kind of happiness.   



I also wonder if the collapse in moral values in our nation is at least in part because of the lack of interest in marriage and families.  If people have nothing to worry about but "themselves" why would they care about the future? (I know this isn't true with everyone)

Whiteboy - 2014-10-17 5:18 PM

There is nothing better than when I walk in the door from work and my 2 year old runs up to me yelling, "Datty" and give me a big hug around my leg.  No "thing" in this world can ever compare. 

I'm probably gonna get flamed for this, but...I feel really sorry for anybody that will never know that kind of happiness.   

I also wonder if the collapse in moral values in our nation is at least in part because of the lack of interest in marriage and families.  If people have nothing to worry about but "themselves" why would they care about the future? (I know this isn't true with everyone)

cheryl makofka - 2014-10-18 4:22 PM I have to disagree with your statements IF PEOPLE HAVE NOBODY TO WORRY ABOUT THEMSELVES, WHY WOULD THEY CARE ABOUT THE FUTURE Working in the health care for years, I have about 100 reasons why I choose not to have children, yes some people would my reasons are selfish, but in would say it is me being aware of my limitations and what I am not willing to compromise. I have also heard from board members here and it drives me crazy people have choose to have children, but have admitted their children are not their first. My values my parents instilled in me taught me if you want to have children they need to come first before everything. For me deciding to not have children, I am caring about the future, what I can contribute as a person as an individual, I am also caring about the life I choose not to bring into the world. Personally I think all who want children should have a mental health assessment attend education seminars and be issued a liscence to have a child. This would be doing the future a favor

Brrelhorse - 2014-10-17 4:39 PM

 
I love my friends' children. Because I don't have to take care of them. Their cuteness is there to fulfill my need to see cute things. I don't expect them to behave for me, and they don't expect 18 years of dinner from me. I see this as a good setup.

Not only do I not want children, but I think what really blows people's minds is that I've realized I don't need them. Apparently, some people agree with me, and apparently that's national news if the August 12 issue of Time is any indicator: The entire cover story was dedicated to the marvelous epiphany that "having it all" -- whatever that even means -- for some Americans means not having children. We've come far as a country, haven't we, when a well-established journalistic bulwark recognizes that -- gasp -- married couples might actually chose to subvert the cultural paradigm and elect to never need a minivan! What'll they come up with next? Gay people having babies? What sorcery is this?

Listen. I'm being real here: I need my sleep much more than I need children. Does that sound selfish? That's probably because it is! Which is probably one of the top reasons I shouldn't enter into parenthood in the first place. Which is just so funny, because people who have no business being in my business say the darndest things when I tell them I'm not having children. A sampling:

"You should totally do it! It's a blast!"
I bet having a dog is also a blast, but I don't even want the responsibility of caring for a dog. You'd probably talk me out of having a dog I didn't want to care for, so why would you try to talk me into having a human being I don't want to care for?

"You'll change your mind."
This is one of my absolute favorite things that people like to say when I tell them I'm not having children. It's so funny, because it implies they know me better than I know myself. To which I like to respond, "HOORAY! A REAL, LIVE, FREE PSYCHIC! What else can you tell me about myself that I don't know? Will I win the lottery? Will I ever finally lose those last, stubborn five pounds, or should I just give up? Also, how will the final season of "Mad Men" end?? Will we ever find out what really happened on the final scene of The Sopranos? What other secrets of the universe are you hiding in that magical brain of yours?"

"But what will you do when you're old?"
Um, let's see... hopefully spend the savings account that I didn't drain on summer camp and braces and college on traveling the world, all while dressed like Bea Arthur in "The Golden Girls." Playing shuffleboard. Hopefully.

"You'll just figure out a way to afford it."
LOL. Oh GOD you are just the funniest thing! Truly, a hoot! You're a stand-up comic, right? What's funny about that bullshit is that someone probably shared the same Pollyanna-ish platitude with the millions of people in this country who couldn't afford kids when they started out and still -- even with college educations and decent jobs -- never managed to "just figure out a way to afford it." The other thing that's funny is that this is another of the benefits of not having kids -- you never have to figure out a way to afford it.

"But what if you regret never having your own kids?"
I'd rather regret never having children than have children and regret it.

"But you'll never know happiness like the happiness of being a parent."
I'll also never know what it's like to have a penis. Or be Cuban! Or be able to dunk a basketball on the 1992 Olympic Dream Team. I'll also never know what it's like to change a fetid diaper or what it's like to have a teenager who devotes months, if not years to hating me, followed by decades of passively resenting me. Thank you for your genuine concern regarding the status of my happiness, Deepak Chopra, but as a genuinely content person, I'm living proof that happiness isn't just reserved for parents and that it's possible to know happiness without venturing into parenthood. I love it here on the sandy child-free beach upon which I'm currently sunning.

"Why wouldn't you want to have children if your body is capable of it?"
Yes, someone actually said this to me. My body's also capable of having a gang bang, but I'm definitely not boarding that bus. So I'm not even honoring that with a response. The side eye was invented for this occasion.

"Good for you!"
Thank you. Can't say I disagree.

shubug007 - 2014-10-17 7:57 PM I LOVE KIDS! I also love to send them home. I work in a school. All my motherly needs are met there. In truth when I want kids I want to adopt. much of that comes from seeing the kids in our school in the system or needing a loving family. Breaks my heart. I feel it selfish of me wanting to have my own when so many need a home.

RidenFly - 2014-10-17 6:34 PM

Good grief.  There would have to be another Czar named by the annoited one to run that department.  

Everyone's parents are a little screwed up.  So what?  We survive anyway. 

cheryl makofka - 2014-10-17 6:35 PM


What about the children born with physical deformities and mental impairment due to their parents smoking/injecting drugs and/or drinking throughout their pregnancies.

What about the children who are sexually abused by their mother/father when they are as little as two years old or even younger.

What about the children who are living in houses where meth is cooked, the meth is absorbed through the skin and inhalation.

What about the kids who are born into gangs or join gangs as there is no other alternative

You cannot tell me these kids are okay.

cheryl makofka - 2014-10-17 8:35 PM What about the children born with physical deformities and mental impairment due to their parents smoking/injecting drugs and/or drinking throughout their pregnancies. What about the children who are sexually abused by their mother/father when they are as little as two years old or even younger. What about the children who are living in houses where meth is cooked, the meth is absorbed through the skin and inhalation. What about the kids who are born into gangs or join gangs as there is no other alternative You cannot tell me these kids are okay.