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 Good Grief!
Posts: 6343
      Location: Cap'n Joan Rotgut.....alberta | Crowned Image - 2014-12-23 9:14 AM trying to change him before you all are even dating, regardless if it's for his health or not, is a terrible idea. obviously you don't like him THAT much that you're letting the fact that he dips interfere with him as an individual. get over that issue or move on. That's not a great foundation for your relationship IMO
winner winner chicken dinner....
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  Shipwrecked and Flat Out Zapped
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          Location: DUMPING CATS AND PIGS IN TEXAS :) | mruggles - 2014-12-22 10:57 AM Crowned Image - 2014-12-23 9:14 AM trying to change him before you all are even dating, regardless if it's for his health or not, is a terrible idea. obviously you don't like him THAT much that you're letting the fact that he dips interfere with him as an individual. get over that issue or move on. That's not a great foundation for your relationship IMO winner winner chicken dinner....
m
This is what I'm thinking too. Trying to change someone before you actually meet him.....you'll have him running the other way in no time. Trying to change someone period, usually back fires. |
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 Undercover Amish Mafia Member
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           Location: Kansas | LRQHS - 2014-12-22 11:12 AM mruggles - 2014-12-22 10:57 AM Crowned Image - 2014-12-23 9:14 AM trying to change him before you all are even dating, regardless if it's for his health or not, is a terrible idea. obviously you don't like him THAT much that you're letting the fact that he dips interfere with him as an individual. get over that issue or move on. That's not a great foundation for your relationship IMO winner winner chicken dinner....
m This is what I'm thinking too. Trying to change someone before you actually meet him.....you'll have him running the other way in no time. Trying to change someone period, usually back fires.
I agree.....I wouldn't want a man trying to change who I am, so I don't expect the same. |
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 Own It and Move On
      Location: The edge of no where | Whatever happened to going on a date with someone to figure out if you liked them or not? I'm kinda surprised he's still interested in meeting someone that's wanting him to change....but doesn't even know him. Chewing might be the least of his issues, or he might be a great guy that it's his worst habit. |
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Member
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 Location: Kansas | Smoking or chewing isn't and hasn't ever been deal breaker for me. We all have habits that aren't always becoming but the point of dating is to find people who can deal with them. In my opinion if you like the guy you should date him to see if his chewing is a problem for you. No one says you have to jump into a serious relationship right away. Go on a couple of dates before deciding if it's a deal breaker for you or not. |
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  Shipwrecked and Flat Out Zapped
Posts: 16390
          Location: DUMPING CATS AND PIGS IN TEXAS :) | Out of curiosity, how old are you? |
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 Extreme Veteran
Posts: 396
      Location: Oregon | I'm not trying to change him.....
Guys will do what they want. He just brought it up and asked what my opinions were and I told him. I said you can do what you want but here is a deal breaker (smoking) and chewing I told him I'm not sure. I said you can do what you want so I'm not trying to change anything, just left it up to
Him. He seems very cool and we have so much in common. We have talked for hours on the phone and facetime lol. We have awesome convo and I've never had that before so I'm interested in seeing where it goes and I'll have to see if chewing gets to me or not. He said he's very discreet about it and it's not all over his teeth and that he rinses and uses mouth wash after. He said he does it at work and in his truck. but like I said I'm
Not asking him to change....
I'm 26 why?
Edited by Luvmyebstang 2014-12-22 12:17 PM
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 Good Grief!
Posts: 6343
      Location: Cap'n Joan Rotgut.....alberta | Luvmyebstang - 2014-12-23 11:13 AM I'm not trying to change him..... Guys will do what they want. He just brought it up and asked what my opinions were and I told him. I said you can do what you want but here is a deal breaker (smoking) and chewing I told him I'm not sure. I said you can do what you want so I'm not trying to change anything, just left it up to Him. He seems very cool and we have so much in common. We have talked for hours on the phone and facetime lol. We have awesome convo and I've never had that before so I'm interested in seeing where it goes and I'll have to see if chewing gets to me or not. He said he's very discreet about it and it's not all over his teeth and that he rinses and uses mouth wash after. He said he does it at work and in his truck. but like I said I'm Not asking him to change.... I'm 26 why? ..because as you get older (and wiser :)..you will come to realize that what you thought was a deal breaker may not be such a big deal...........good things are few and far between so enjoy them bad habits and all............dont make mountains out of mole hills
m
Edited by mruggles 2014-12-22 12:22 PM
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 Go Canada!
Posts: 2954
       
| I dated a guy that chewed, I didn't know he chewed when we started dating - but found out shortly after. It's not something I find particularly attractive, but I decided I liked him enough it wasn't a deal breaker. He was discrete about it though, and it wasn't an issue for us. |
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 Go Canada!
Posts: 2954
       
| mruggles - 2014-12-22 12:21 PM Luvmyebstang - 2014-12-23 11:13 AM I'm not trying to change him..... Guys will do what they want. He just brought it up and asked what my opinions were and I told him. I said you can do what you want but here is a deal breaker (smoking) and chewing I told him I'm not sure. I said you can do what you want so I'm not trying to change anything, just left it up to Him. He seems very cool and we have so much in common. We have talked for hours on the phone and facetime lol. We have awesome convo and I've never had that before so I'm interested in seeing where it goes and I'll have to see if chewing gets to me or not. He said he's very discreet about it and it's not all over his teeth and that he rinses and uses mouth wash after. He said he does it at work and in his truck. but like I said I'm Not asking him to change.... I'm 26 why? ..because as you get older (and wiser :)..you will come to realize that what you thought was a deal breaker may not be such a big deal...........good things are few and far between so enjoy them bad habits and all............dont make mountains out of mole hills
m
I'm 27 and it took me awhile to realize this but it is very true. |
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  Shipwrecked and Flat Out Zapped
Posts: 16390
          Location: DUMPING CATS AND PIGS IN TEXAS :) | tj135 - 2014-12-22 12:34 PM mruggles - 2014-12-22 12:21 PM Luvmyebstang - 2014-12-23 11:13 AM I'm not trying to change him..... Guys will do what they want. He just brought it up and asked what my opinions were and I told him. I said you can do what you want but here is a deal breaker (smoking) and chewing I told him I'm not sure. I said you can do what you want so I'm not trying to change anything, just left it up to Him. He seems very cool and we have so much in common. We have talked for hours on the phone and facetime lol. We have awesome convo and I've never had that before so I'm interested in seeing where it goes and I'll have to see if chewing gets to me or not. He said he's very discreet about it and it's not all over his teeth and that he rinses and uses mouth wash after. He said he does it at work and in his truck. but like I said I'm Not asking him to change.... I'm 26 why? ..because as you get older (and wiser :)..you will come to realize that what you thought was a deal breaker may not be such a big deal...........good things are few and far between so enjoy them bad habits and all............dont make mountains out of mole hills
m I'm 27 and it took me awhile to realize this but it is very true.
Exactly. |
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 Am I really the Weirdo?
Posts: 11181
       Location: Kansas | I've dated guys who chewed and it doesn't really bother me, though it is very cool that Matt doesn't. In my experience, if they're a good guy at all, they'll stop you from kissing them when they have a dip in, and warn you before you steal their spit cup for a drink thinking its Dr Pepper LOL. I could not handle a smoker, and was VERY glad when Matt's parents both quit smoking so I never have to smell it at their house. My dad has chewed for years and I grew up around rodeos so I guess I'm just used to it. There are so many other habits that are way worse! |
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 Extreme Veteran
Posts: 396
      Location: Oregon | You guys are very true! I know I'm young and I'm sure there are way worse things, but I do like him and willing to give him a chance. My mom said her dad chewed and it was nasty. I'm just thinking if we ever kiss if I'll smell it or I taste left overs lol, if he will stop me from kissing if he has one. He so far seems like a great guy and I'm excited about that.
Edited by Luvmyebstang 2014-12-22 12:52 PM
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  Shipwrecked and Flat Out Zapped
Posts: 16390
          Location: DUMPING CATS AND PIGS IN TEXAS :) | Luvmyebstang - 2014-12-22 12:48 PM You guys are very true! I know I'm young and I'm sure there are way worse things, but I do like him and willing to give him a chance. My mom said her dad chewed and it was nasty. I'm just thinking if we ever kiss if I'll smell it or I taste left overs lol, if he will stop me from kissing if he has one. He so far seems like a great guy and I'm excited about that.
Just don't puke on him. Good luck :) |
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 Good Grief!
Posts: 6343
      Location: Cap'n Joan Rotgut.....alberta | LRQHS - 2014-12-23 11:53 AM Luvmyebstang - 2014-12-22 12:48 PM You guys are very true! I know I'm young and I'm sure there are way worse things, but I do like him and willing to give him a chance. My mom said her dad chewed and it was nasty. I'm just thinking if we ever kiss if I'll smell it or I taste left overs lol, if he will stop me from kissing if he has one. He so far seems like a great guy and I'm excited about that. Just don't puke on him. Good luck :)
lrqhs..just gave you the best advice ever............. 
lmao
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 Extreme Veteran
Posts: 396
      Location: Oregon | Haha! Try not too! |
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 Thread Killer
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| mruggles - 2014-12-22 1:21 PM
Luvmyebstang - 2014-12-23 11:13 AM I'm not trying to change him..... Guys will do what they want. He just brought it up and asked what my opinions were and I told him. I said you can do what you want but here is a deal breaker (smoking) and chewing I told him I'm not sure. I said you can do what you want so I'm not trying to change anything, just left it up to Him. He seems very cool and we have so much in common. We have talked for hours on the phone and facetime lol. We have awesome convo and I've never had that before so I'm interested in seeing where it goes and I'll have to see if chewing gets to me or not. He said he's very discreet about it and it's not all over his teeth and that he rinses and uses mouth wash after. He said he does it at work and in his truck. but like I said I'm Not asking him to change.... I'm 26 why? ..because as you get older (and wiser :)..you will come to realize that what you thought was a deal breaker may not be such a big deal...........good things are few and far between so enjoy them bad habits and all............dont make mountains out of mole hills
m
I watched 3 grandparents die from cancer due to smoking/tobacco. I'm going to go through again with my parents and watch them die the same way. It will never not be a big deal to me. |
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 Extreme Veteran
Posts: 396
      Location: Oregon | My dad has smoked cigs since he was 17 ;(
Wish he would stop! |
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 Thread Killer
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| I DO agree with the wiser ladies here, though. Don't try to change people. I wouldn't appreciate anyone's attempts to change me and don't want to do that to anyone else- no matter how much I dislike a certain habbit. |
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 Extreme Veteran
Posts: 396
      Location: Oregon | And again like I said before.....not trying to change him and never asked him too! |
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