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 Undercover Amish Mafia Member
Posts: 9992
    
Location: Kansas | Barrelhorsehelp1 - 2017-06-05 1:31 PM
hoofs_in_motion - 2017-06-05 1:27 PM
If you're sick of hearing your parents complain, move. I'm a few years older than you and I pay for absolutely everything myself, along with my daughter and my horses. Personally, if I were you I would go ask the bank for a loan, get a second job, or sell that 40K horse you seem to rub in everyone's face lol.
I'd love to know how I'm rubbing my horse in everyone's face?? Lmao. I busted my ASS through high school for this horse, I made ALL A's. I worked a job and did everything that was asked of me with 110% effort to have this horse. I'm sorry, actually I'm not, but your wrong.
I seem to have hit the butthurt ****y side lmao | |
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| Far from 'Butt-hurt' but assuming will make an ass out of both of us. | |
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  Fact Checker
Posts: 16575
Location: Displaced Iowegian | Barrelhorsehelp1 - 2017-06-05 1:38 PM Far from 'Butt-hurt' but assuming will make an ass out of both of us.
^^^^ uncalled for ........ | |
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 Serious Snap Trapper
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Location: In The Snow, AZ |  | |
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 Witty Enough
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 Good Grief!
Posts: 6343
Location: Cap'n Joan Rotgut.....alberta | I think your best course of action is to find your own place and keep your horses if you can...that way nobody can tell you what to do....i have been very lucky to have a supportive mom..she hauled me to every rodeo and still loves to come and watch. ....m | |
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 Ms. Marine
Posts: 4641
Location: Texas | Barrelhorsehelp1 - 2017-06-05 11:31 AM
hoofs_in_motion - 2017-06-05 1:27 PM
If you're sick of hearing your parents complain, move. I'm a few years older than you and I pay for absolutely everything myself, along with my daughter and my horses. Personally, if I were you I would go ask the bank for a loan, get a second job, or sell that 40K horse you seem to rub in everyone's face lol.
I'd love to know how I'm rubbing my horse in everyone's face?? Lmao. I busted my ASS through high school for this horse, I made ALL A's. I worked a job and did everything that was asked of me with 110% effort to have this horse. I'm sorry, actually I'm not, but your wrong.
If you consider making good grades in high school and having a job busting your rear... wait until real life hits you. The more I'm reading through this post I'm seeing years and years of experienced advice being given to you yet you're just not having it. You're coming across like a spoiled brat who's seeking attention. We can't change your parents for you, so what are you expecting, exactly?
Edited by BarrelRacing4Christ 2017-06-05 2:43 PM
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 A Somebody to Everybody
Posts: 41354
Location: Under The Big Sky Of Texas | BarrelRacing4Christ - 2017-06-05 2:41 PM Barrelhorsehelp1 - 2017-06-05 11:31 AM hoofs_in_motion - 2017-06-05 1:27 PM If you're sick of hearing your parents complain, move. I'm a few years older than you and I pay for absolutely everything myself, along with my daughter and my horses. Personally, if I were you I would go ask the bank for a loan, get a second job, or sell that 40K horse you seem to rub in everyone's face lol. I'd love to know how I'm rubbing my horse in everyone's face?? Lmao. I busted my ASS through high school for this horse, I made ALL A's. I worked a job and did everything that was asked of me with 110% effort to have this horse. I'm sorry, actually I'm not, but your wrong. If you consider making good grades in high school and having a job busting your rear... wait until real life hits you. The more I'm reading through this post I'm seeing years and years of experienced advice being given to you yet you're just not having it. You're coming across like a spoiled brat who's seeking attention. We can't change your parents for you, so what are you expecting, exactly?
BINGO  | |
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Hungarian Midget Woman
Location: Midwest | When I was 21, I inherited some money. I bought a house and paid for my own living expenses and my horse, mortgage, and remodeled that house.
My parents have helped me when I needed it. They did buy me a horse when I was 18, but he was not finished. And he was certainly not 40k. They would come to one show a year, but they paid for my horses for years. While I would have liked to have that family cheering squad there for me, and I was envious of those that did, I was appreciative of what they did to support me financially (and still am grateful for those years).
It seems to me that they are trying to show you some tough love. You do need to learn to stand on your own two feet. Finish college, take out loans, and sell that 40k horse and pick up a prospect. Use the difference in money to get yourself back on track. Your boyfriend is paying your rent and boarding your horses right now (it sounds like, it's a bit unclear as some of the posts are confusing to me). You really are not self sufficient if you think about it.
I know you probably feel that your your relationship with your boyfriend is secure. I was married once and I thought my marriage was too, until I found out that it wasn't. Always be able to support yourself. Sometimes that means making sacrifices.
I dont agree with the disparaging comments about your horses. Honestly without tact is cruelty. But perhaps they are frustrated. If you were my daughter, I would be concerned that you could not survive financially on your own without the help of your boyfriend. Maybe they are going about it the wrong way, but it seems to me they are trying to get you on the right financial path and show you that sometimes things need to take priority over our hobbies. | |
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 BHW Resident Surgeon
Posts: 25352
Location: Bastrop, Texas | I'd be willing to bet that, on balance, your parents care an awful lot about you and are pretty good folks. Like most parents who love their kids and want the best for them (including expensive horses), they make mistakes and sometimes say hurtful things. Those of us who like to think we are good parents all too often look back and we all have regrets, whether it's something we said to our kids, or whether it was an error in judgement. On balance, it sounds like they must have done a few things right. You don't drink, smoke, run around, etc.... You are an A student.......good for them, and, more importantly, even better for you. Obviously, they haven't been perfect. A lot of parents who are conscientious about their child's upbringing would not be happy with their daughter living with her boyfriend out of wedlock. I only bring this up because I'm wondering if that doesn't enter in to this picture. Do they frown upon your shacking up? Is your boyfriend unsupportive? In what way?
You asked for opinions on dealing with an "unsupportive" significant other or family. You should have anticipated a lot of honest opinions, and sometimes those opinions aren't what you were looking for. Hopefully, for your sake, you will benefit from this thread. | |
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 A Barrel Of Monkeys
Posts: 12972
Location: Texas | Bear - 2017-06-05 3:53 PM I'd be willing to bet that, on balance, your parents care an awful lot about you and are pretty good folks. Like most parents who love their kids and want the best for them (including expensive horses), they make mistakes and sometimes say hurtful things. Those of us who like to think we are good parents all too often look back and we all have regrets, whether it's something we said to our kids, or whether it was an error in judgement. On balance, it sounds like they must have done a few things right. You don't drink, smoke, run around, etc.... You are an A student.......good for them, and, more importantly, even better for you. Obviously, they haven't been perfect. A lot of parents who are conscientious about their child's upbringing would not be happy with their daughter living with her boyfriend out of wedlock. I only bring this up because I'm wondering if that doesn't enter in to this picture. Do they frown upon your shacking up? Is your boyfriend unsupportive? In what way? You asked for opinions on dealing with an "unsupportive" significant other or family. You should have anticipated a lot of honest opinions, and sometimes those opinions aren't what you were looking for. Hopefully, for your sake, you will benefit from this thread.
Yes, from this mom - boyfriend would not be living w/ my daughter on my property.
We all have to make choices. I sold my horses when I was 21. I was married, in school and had a baby on the way. I didn't have another horse for 7 years and I sure didn't compete much. I didn't have the time or the money.
You really don't know your parents' financial status right now. Maybe they're not as well off as you think.
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 Take a Picture
Posts: 12842
| I was an honor student in high school. Paid my way through college, was on the rodeo team. When I got my first job. I bought my own horse, a two year old for $1500. I have bought everything I own that has wheels. My old 1D horse was off the track, paid $3000 for him. Trained him myself. (Have trained all of my horses until recently. Got old and lazy). At the Josey reunion this year, I am sure I had the two cheapest horses there, which I bought as babies. One was 750, the other was 850. I want taking a chance, I knew what I was getting. My young horse ended up 11th out of 428 runners. The horse that I rode is a world champion.
You live in an apartment on your parent's property and your boyfriend's parents built you a barn and let you keep your horses there. Sounds to me like you have way more support than I ever got. I appreciate what I have because I worked for it.
Be an adult. Go get a loan to get your truck fixed and be thankful for what you have.
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 Expert
Posts: 1718
Location: Southeast Louisiana | I think there is more to the story, but unless your parents create an account and log on, it's hard to say exactly what is going on.
It's very hard for some parent to give a kid the things they want and you seem to take it for granted that those handouts are a given. They don't have to help you.
So your parents aren't supportive in the way you want them to be. Maybe you aren't exactly showing your gratitude in the way that they want you to either.
They are most likely saying, "a 40k horse and a place to live and she doesn't even offer to help pay for her own college. Just asks for more." Which can be hurtful for them when they're bending over backwards to make you happy and you still find something wrong with the way they do it. | |
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 Forever Young
Posts: 6768
Location: relocated to Texas | I have a really hard time relating to a "problem" like this. I moved away from home at 19 when I graduated high school. It was up to me to support myself, had a full time job and went to night classes. My parents paid for NOTHING. I did not expect them too. I came from a big family, it was all my mother could do to pay for our home and put food on the table. When I got married, I paid for my own SIMPLE wedding, my Mother made the bridesmaid dresses. it was what she could afford at the time. What she did do was teach us how to WORK for the things we wanted. This was more valuable than anything she could have given me because at he age of 28 my ex husband and I started a business that took a tremendous amount of work and sacrifice. i had been taught both of those things, and it was that work ethic that made the business a success. You are 21, going to school and expect your parents to be "supportive" by giving you money to support your horse habit. Your parents see you working and spending your money on your horses. Meanwhile, they are still providing a roof over your head (your boyfriend paying $200 in rent is not REALLY paying rent). You expect them to pay for something unexpected like a vehicle repair. Welcome to the real world kid...unexpected bills will become a way of life. You better learn to cut down on your WANTS to pay for your NEEDS. Horses are fun, but they are not a necessity. If you cannot pay your monthly bills and put aside some in savings for those unexpected items while paying for the horses, then I agree with your parents. Maybe you need to sell them until you can be in a financial position to truly afford them. The best thing your parents can do for you to prepare you to be an independant adult, is to NOT give you the money. You will then have to figure out a way on your own, to truly be on your own. Welcome to adulthood.
Edited to add: I am guessing your parents are not supportive of the horses any longer because they want you to focus on a future for yourself. Horses are a HOBBY, and a very expensive one. You are obviously making the horses a priority over planning for your future. They know this will not serve you well in the long run. The fact that you mention that you get good grades and don't smoke or drink (as though they owe you something for this) is very telling. That might be something you would say when you were a child, but as an adult...guess what? Those things are to YOUR BENEFIT, not your parents.
Edited by Hollywood's Fan 2017-06-05 5:06 PM
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BHW Resident Surgeon
Posts: 25352
Location: Bastrop, Texas | This comment really sums everything up for me:
"I'm sorry if I'm not willing to sell my 40k horse, when I KNOW I will NEVER be able to afford and have paid off a horse of that price and caliber. I'm not trying to sound bratty but I've dreamed of having this barrel horse my entire life! Why would I give that up to go to college for a year to be a vet tech and still scrub by, and wish of having the open horse I have now??"
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Take a Picture
Posts: 12842
| Bear - 2017-06-05 4:57 PM
This comment really sums everything up for me:
"I'm sorry if I'm not willing to sell my 40k horse, when I KNOW I will NEVER be able to afford and have paid off a horse of that price and caliber. I'm not trying to sound bratty but I've dreamed of having this barrel horse my entire life! Why would I give that up to go to college for a year to be a vet tech and still scrub by, and wish of having the open horse I have now??"
Think you could be right. | |
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Expert
Posts: 1718
Location: Southeast Louisiana | streakysox - 2017-06-05 5:12 PM
Bear - 2017-06-05 4:57 PM
This comment really sums everything up for me:
"I'm sorry if I'm not willing to sell my 40k horse, when I KNOW I will NEVER be able to afford and have paid off a horse of that price and caliber. I'm not trying to sound bratty but I've dreamed of having this barrel horse my entire life! Why would I give that up to go to college for a year to be a vet tech and still scrub by, and wish of having the open horse I have now??"
Think you could be right.
Yes. I agree. I, too KNOW I will never be able to afford a forty thousand dollar horse. The struggle is real, yo. | |
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 Shelter Dog Lover
Posts: 10277
| Nita - 2017-06-05 5:22 PM streakysox - 2017-06-05 5:12 PM Bear - 2017-06-05 4:57 PM This comment really sums everything up for me: "I'm sorry if I'm not willing to sell my 40k horse, when I KNOW I will NEVER be able to afford and have paid off a horse of that price and caliber. I'm not trying to sound bratty but I've dreamed of having this barrel horse my entire life! Why would I give that up to go to college for a year to be a vet tech and still scrub by, and wish of having the open horse I have now??" Think you could be right. Yes. I agree. I, too KNOW I will never be able to afford a forty thousand dollar horse. The struggle is real, yo.
We could afford high dollar horses for our 3 girls and did buy them nice horses but I guarantee they would be renting an apartment and paying all of their bills if they moved in with the boyfriend and/or were not going to school, the horse would no longer be available to them either. If they wanted to play house with the boyfriend, they get everything that goes along with it, bills and hard times. | |
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Veteran
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| BarrelRacing4Christ - 2017-06-05 2:41 PM
Barrelhorsehelp1 - 2017-06-05 11:31 AM
hoofs_in_motion - 2017-06-05 1:27 PM
If you're sick of hearing your parents complain, move. I'm a few years older than you and I pay for absolutely everything myself, along with my daughter and my horses. Personally, if I were you I would go ask the bank for a loan, get a second job, or sell that 40K horse you seem to rub in everyone's face lol.
I'd love to know how I'm rubbing my horse in everyone's face?? Lmao. I busted my ASS through high school for this horse, I made ALL A's. I worked a job and did everything that was asked of me with 110% effort to have this horse. I'm sorry, actually I'm not, but your wrong.
If you consider making good grades in high school and having a job busting your rear... wait until real life hits you. The more I'm reading through this post I'm seeing years and years of experienced advice being given to you yet you're just not having it. You're coming across like a spoiled brat who's seeking attention. We can't change your parents for you, so what are you expecting, exactly?
^^This. I'm sorry but making good grades in high school and being a good person does not entitle you to getting your parents money, support, etc. I made over a 4.0 in high school and my parents did not support me going out of town to a large university in the least. They wanted me to stay in town at a smaller college. So, I packed my bags, applied for every scholarship I could find, worked every job I could manage, and left. All throughout undergrad (and all of my other degrees), I have paid for every penny from rent to bills to tuition. I took every volunteer opportunity that I could to better my resume to get better jobs to obtain a salary in which I could afford a horse.
On the horse note of this, I wanted a horse since I was small but that was out of the question. So, when I came to college it ended up some of my friends had horses. So for eight years I learned everything I could and rode theirs because there was no way I could even imagine owning a horse. I am now 30 and I am just now in a financial and time situation that I could pay for lessons and buy my $2,500 horse and guess what I am SAVING money for a better horse.
I hardly think you can say, when you are living on your parents property at a very low rent, that you are on you own. Also, if you didn't pay the 40k for the horse or are making payments to pay your parents back for the horse, you hardly did everything to earn the horse.
Edited by EagleJess 2017-06-05 7:41 PM
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