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 Expert
Posts: 3815
   
Location: The best kept secret in TX | This forum is full of people that I have and haven't met in real life but I consider friends. I come here for a variety of topics from people that I don't necessarily know but I feel like I know. There are VERY smart people here that I get input from on a variety of topics simply because they share a common interest of mine or because I know they were raised similar to me. The facebook groups can comment as much as they want on a post but I will always consult BHW BBs for recipes, parenting advice, minor medical advice, sensitive topics, barrel racing, healthcare of my horse, etc. I know everyone here has my family and horse's best interest at heart because I've read their responses on other threads. I've gotten PMs when I've fallen on hard times, I've gotten mail from BBs simply because their hearts are so big.
This forum is a family. Limiting it to Barrel racing would be like silencing the best informational source I have: I get so much out of this forum.
Freezing the thread was a good move. I think we can discuss parenting, attitudes, etc without making passes at the child or parents themselves that is hateful. However, I can't say I disagreed with anyone on the thread... It's what we were all thinking but you also have to remember: What is put on the internet can never be taken back. You can never unsay those words. I know if I was a child and I made a mistake I would hate to find that thread when I was vulnerable and 16 looking for advice and finding that instead... I would feel so crummy about my past... But that's not the point of this thread...
Dave, BHW is wonderful. It's moderated beautifully and runs smoothly. I agree and commend BHW for everything they do, have done and will do. I love this family we all have. The regulars, the grandfathers, the grandmothers, the mommas, daddies, and young adolescent teens. We may bicker and disagree and get our pantaloons in a knot every now and again but what family doesn't? I agree with Spencer, sometimes the dogs need to be called off, no matter if the blood is still there or not.  | |
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 Not Afraid to Work
Posts: 4717
| My two cents, I love BHW has so many topics. I have learned so much from this forum over the years and love coming here for advice. Now that I have mastered the search tool, I do it regularly.
As far as the topic in question, I do believe that this is a public video that was made in a public setting. I personally, am thankful to have known the kind of stuff circulating out there. I have a niece who I have gotten into barrel racing. She is starting to get into social media, starting to follow certain "superstars/pros" and I want to make sure I know if things like this happen. My sister does monitor her activity but I don't know that she would know about this situation or think twice about her seeing some small child, dolled up with a cowboy hat on. I think all of us were a bit stunned. I've watched interviews and although never got a fluffy feeling, I never expected this.
All that said and possibly making my opinion bias, I do believe kids also need to be held accountable. Cyber bullying is a big issue and as a 911 dispatcher I am so sick of kids committing suicide from it. I think kids needs to know this isn't acceptable and there are repercussions. I know she is young and maturity obviously isn't there but I do believe she knows right from wrong. Kids are prosecuted at her age for heinous crimes and although its not the same ... the law believes a child knows the difference between right and wrong at her age. I do disagree though that they shouldn't be name calling... "spoiled" "brat" "entitled" are all opinions... even if we believe them to be true. We don't know whats going on at home. Keeping discussion to the facts. Expressing our own disappointment, frustration or the fact that WE are angry. We believe her sponsors should be notified. etc etc... but name calling I don't support. Its another form of bullying.
I can say, I didn't share the video... I was really hoping her parents would have stepped up and super disappointed they didn't. | |
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 BHW Resident Surgeon
Posts: 25351
 
Location: Bastrop, Texas | OregonBR - 2018-11-14 3:28 PM
This is hitting a nerve today as so many people think there should be no consequences to their actions. Anything goes. That's why we have crooked politicians in office, rampant lying, fraud and just plain illegal activities from people who have no conscience. Their parents failed them or they are sociopaths or both.
Speaking of “consequences”.....on a lighter note I have a story to tell. My youngest daughter is a 24 yr old married RN, and I couldn’t be more proud. To this day we still chuckle at the mere mention of the word, “consequences”. Back when she was about 6 years old she had a tantrum when we were leaving Valley Fair, an amusement park. She went haywire and hit me in the back of the head with a plastic, long stem flower while I was driving. I calmly told her I was going to spank her for that stunt, once we got back to the hotel, so she would learn “the meaning of the word, consequences”. She became quiet and then reverted to her usual sweet self. I remained quiet throughout the 30 minute drive. She skipped alongside me as we walked through the lobby and up the elevator, but I could tell she was nervous. Once we got in the room, I sat down on the edge of the bed and she stood before me as I explained how she showed disrespect and now would suffer “consequences”. I turned her over my knee and gave her 3 good swats on the ass. She eventually healed from the abuse, and things were good.....for a few weeks.
Then one day at home in Fargo, she decided to have another tantrum because I didn’t let her go to a fair with a friend and her family, because we had plans. She kept pitching a fit, until I gave her that “look” and said in a firm voice “ELIZABETH!!!!” Her response:
“Oh please daddy, I’m sorry...please don’t give me a consequence”!
At that point I couldn’t help but laugh. I didn’t spank her, and she promptly accepted my ruling!
That was the only time I can recall ever spanking her, but I sure got a lot of mileage out of that it thrashing. Now it’s just a memory that evokes a lot of family laughter. | |
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Expert
Posts: 3815
Location: The best kept secret in TX | Bear - 2018-11-14 4:06 PM OregonBR - 2018-11-14 3:28 PM This is hitting a nerve today as so many people think there should be no consequences to their actions. Anything goes. That's why we have crooked politicians in office, rampant lying, fraud and just plain illegal activities from people who have no conscience. Their parents failed them or they are sociopaths or both. Speaking of “consequences”.....on a lighter note I have a story to tell. My youngest daughter is a 24 yr old married RN, and I couldn’t be more proud. To this day we still chuckle at the mere mention of the word, “consequences”. Back when she was about 6 years old she had a tantrum when we were leaving Valley Fair, an amusement park. She went haywire and hit me in the back of the head with a plastic, long stem flower while I was driving. I calmly told her I was going to spank her for that stunt, once we got back to the hotel, so she would learn “the meaning of the word, consequences”. She became quiet and then reverted to her usual sweet self. I remained quiet throughout the 30 minute drive. She skipped alongside me as we walked through the lobby and up the elevator, but I could tell she was nervous. Once we got in the room, I sat down on the edge of the bed and she stood before me as I explained how she showed disrespect and now would suffer “consequences”. I turned her over my knee and gave her 3 good swats on the ass. She eventually healed from the abuse, and things were good.....for a few weeks. Then one day at home in Fargo, she decided to have another tantrum because I didn’t let her go to a fair with a friend and her family, because we had plans. She kept pitching a fit, until I gave her that “look” and said in a firm voice “ELIZABETH!!!!” Her response: “Oh please daddy, I’m sorry...please don’t give me a consequence”! At that point I couldn’t help but laugh. I didn’t spank her, and she promptly accepted my ruling! That was the only time I can recall ever spanking her, but I sure got a lot of mileage out of that it thrashing. Now it’s just a memory that evokes a lot of family laughter.
OT but in response to Bear's funny story: I did the same to my little one when she was about 2 and I've never had to spank her since. Given, she's only 3 but.. I calmly and quietly asked her if she knew why she was getting a "pop" and she told me the exact reason. And I told her afterward that I don't like giving pops and that it makes me sad when she is sad. She hugged me and apologized.
Now all I have to do is say: "Child, do I need to stop this truck and give that bottom of yours a pop?" And she instantly stops whatever she's doing and says: "Oh No ma'am. I can be good, watch me!"
Same child that told her teacher at school today that the room was "Awful frigid today" and when asked what frigid meant told her teacher: "well, It's extreme cold, you know that." and threw her hands up in the air. Brains AND sass... I'm in trouble...  | |
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BHW Resident Surgeon
Posts: 25351
Location: Bastrop, Texas | My 38 year old son was a bit harder to break, like a young stud colt.
I think I had to resort to corporate punishment 3 times. Once was a swift slap across the cheek for mouthing off. Another time when he was about 15, he decided to play “big bull-little bull” with me and tried to bump me chest to chest during a heated disagreement while standing in the laundry room. I was startled by that move, but also very pis$ed off, but I quickly came to my senses. My reaction was something along the lines of “Oh..I see...tough guy, huh?” “You gonna get tough with me now, big fella?” He smirked and shrugged his shoulders, dismissively. I then grabbed him in a bear hug and threw him down to the mat, like a wrestling takedown. I let him up, and did it again, and said, “You best think twice before you try getting tough with me, big fella.....you’re grounded for two weeks, including hockey.” He never even remotely tried something like that again. The other, more humorous incident happened when he was about 8 and lied to me about hiding his sister’s tennis shoes, right before we were planning on leaving to go to the lake for the weekend. He, along with his older sister, and I turned the house inside out for about an hour, before I found the shoes under his pillow. He finally confessed about his stunt and admitted he lied.
I told him to march to the basement for a spanking (similar to Elizabeth’s punishment). I waited a while, just so he could agonize for a while, so as to get the most out of my spanking. Finally I went in the basement, took off my belt, grabbed him by the arm and gave him a couple good whacks.
After that, whenever he pushed me to the limit, every time I started to reach for my belt, he would say, “I’m sorry daddy...please don’t give me the ‘seat belt’!”
“Seat belt” had a very different meaning to my son!
Thankfully, I only had to spank all three of my kids a total of about 5 times, but I don’t regret it, and now we just laugh about it. | |
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 Warrior Mom
Posts: 4400
| From most of the responses on here and on Facebook about said incident, I'm glad to know not ALL of our children are doomed... majority of us would not even allow that behavior, let alone condone it if it happened. Kids mess up... yep, they sure do some really stupid things along the way but it's our jobs as parents or caregivers to guide them and teach them right from wrong and be right there to correct ugly behavior. Sorry and sad, but shes doomed. | |
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 A Somebody to Everybody
Posts: 41354
Location: Under The Big Sky Of Texas | Bear - 2018-11-14 5:06 PM My 38 year old son was a bit harder to break, like a young stud colt. I think I had to resort to corporate punishment 3 times. Once was a swift slap across the cheek for mouthing off. Another time when he was about 15, he decided to play “big bull-little bull” with me and tried to bump me chest to chest during a heated disagreement while standing in the laundry room. I was startled by that move, but also very pis$ed off, but I quickly came to my senses. My reaction was something along the lines of “Oh..I see...tough guy, huh?” “You gonna get tough with me now, big fella?” He smirked and shrugged his shoulders, dismissively. I then grabbed him in a bear hug and threw him down to the mat, like a wrestling takedown. I let him up, and did it again, and said, “You best think twice before you try getting tough with me, big fella.....you’re grounded for two weeks, including hockey.” He never even remotely tried something like that again. The other, more humorous incident happened when he was about 8 and lied to me about hiding his sister’s tennis shoes, right before we were planning on leaving to go to the lake for the weekend. He, along with his older sister, and I turned the house inside out for about an hour, before I found the shoes under his pillow. He finally confessed about his stunt and admitted he lied. I told him to march to the basement for a spanking (similar to Elizabeth’s punishment). I waited a while, just so he could agonize for a while, so as to get the most out of my spanking. Finally I went in the basement, took off my belt, grabbed him by the arm and gave him a couple good whacks. After that, whenever he pushed me to the limit, every time I started to reach for my belt, he would say, “I’m sorry daddy...please don’t give me the ‘seat belt’!” “Seat belt” had a very different meaning to my son! Thankfully, I only had to spank all three of my kids a total of about 5 times, but I don’t regret it, and now we just laugh about it.
I do believe we all as parents have cute storys about our kido's that were misbehaving and got their little hinnys in trouble a time or two, lol, I sure can remember those times, it only took one time of getting their behinds taned that they understood THE LOOK they got when they thought they were being cute and thought maybe they could get away with something they were not suppose to be doing at the time. THE LOOK sure can go a long ways when needed..  | |
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A Somebody to Everybody
Posts: 41354
Location: Under The Big Sky Of Texas | That 11 year old girl knew what she was doing was wrong you could tell it at the very beginning of her video she kept looking to make sure no body was watching her or going to walk in on her, she knew it was all wrong but she made that video anyway, I dont feel sorry for her one bit..There was no excuse for it and her daddy should not be making any excuses for this type of behavioral, he just gave her the OK that this is OK.. | |
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BHW Resident Surgeon
Posts: 25351
Location: Bastrop, Texas | .
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  The Original Cyber Bartender
Location: Washington | "It takes a Village" comes to mind. And not only does it apply to a child it applies to all humans.
BHW has always done a good job of policing it's own, and in saying that..."It takes a Village".
Edited by fatchance 2018-11-14 8:22 PM
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A Somebody to Everybody
Posts: 41354
Location: Under The Big Sky Of Texas | Bear - 2018-11-14 7:01 PM .
Ha ha ha ha 
Edited by Southtxponygirl 2018-11-14 8:50 PM
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BHW Resident Surgeon
Posts: 25351
Location: Bastrop, Texas | “I believe the primary role of the state is to teach, train, and raise children. Parents have a secondary role.”
- Hillary Clinton, “It Takes a Village”. | |
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Regular
Posts: 63
Location: B-F-E | 07milch - 2018-11-14 3:17 PM
Not to take away from this thread but could someone pm me as to who most of you are discussing? Totally missed what is going on. On a side note, unless people are viciously attacking others, I think most topics are fair game.
Could you let me know too? I'm totally clueless as well...  | |
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 Cute Little Imp
Posts: 2747
Location: N Texas | partygirlbsu007 - 2018-11-14 11:47 PM
07milch - 2018-11-14 3:17 PM
Not to take away from this thread but could someone pm me as to who most of you are discussing? Totally missed what is going on. On a side note, unless people are viciously attacking others, I think most topics are fair game.
Could you let me know too? I'm totally clueless as well...
http://forums.barrelhorseworld.com/forum/forums/thread-view.asp?tid...
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 Never miss a good chance to shut up.
Posts: 3317
| Through many years BHW has survived because of it's community. And the community is made up of families.
I think Hillary, (and others) would like to think the community replaces the family.
I find the feedback here incredibly helpful and thank all of you for your comments. I appreciate all of you weighing in with ways to be more helpful when we find disturbing posts about people on BHW. | |
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Elite Veteran
Posts: 1096
| I thought about this yesterday alot. I actually saw the video and I showed a minute of it to my two daughters (ages 14 and 10). Before showing them a brief clip I said "this is why I always say "no emotions" until you get to the trailer. This is why I say "I don't care if you've been bucked, kicked, or stomped on" you do not ever act bad in public. My girls are in the public quite a bit here locally and that kind of behavior is not acceptable in my eyes.
That being said I don't think this girls family cares about that aspect of things. I doubt things will change for her. That being said I wish there was a way to take her for a summer, take away her electronic gadgets and make her scoop poop, work cattle, combine corn, and train her own horse. I really think hard work does a world of good for children.
I find it encouraging that on this forum there are many others that feel the same way I do. I think it's hard though because sometimes comments are taken out of context when we type things and that is probably why the thread was frozen. | |
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 Fact Checker
Posts: 16572
Location: Displaced Iowegian | I didn't have time to reply yesterday either. I think that the "mods" do a pretty good job of reining in the "bad & ugly" of the "good, bad and ugly" that a person can get when they come to BHW and post controversial statements. I also agree that if the subject is all over the internet with the names, it should not be "off-limits". It seems like various subjects can bring out the worst in some who derail a discussion with name calling and derogatory remarks to each other.....but overall, I think we all care about each other and want to help, educate, or sympathize with the friends that we have made here.
Regarding the young lady and her abhorrent behavior, I have read through LOTS of posts on FB and would say that the majority of the posts are TO and ABOUT the actions of the PARENTS and not to the child. Her behavior can be laid at the feet of her parents!
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 Accident Prone
Posts: 22277
Location: 100 miles from Nowhere, AR | That hot mess needed called out. If said minor’s parents don’t want her discussed publicly then don’t let her on social media. She’s not mature enough to handle using it correctly or dealing with fallout from a mistake. Neither are my kids around her age (10 and 13). It’s why I don’t allow them access to that stuff. The fact that dad defended her behavior is telling tho. Apology and discipline would have been more appropriate. And yep, I’m totally judging. It’s called discernment. | |
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 Ms Bling Bling Sleeze Kitty
Posts: 20904
Location: LouLouVille, OK | Three 4 Luck - 2018-11-15 10:18 AM That hot mess needed called out. If said minor’s parents don’t want her discussed publicly then don’t let her on social media. She’s not mature enough to handle using it correctly or dealing with fallout from a mistake. Neither are my kids around her age (10 and 13). It’s why I don’t allow them access to that stuff. The fact that dad defended her behavior is telling tho. Apology and discipline would have been more appropriate. And yep, I’m totally judging. It’s called discernment.
AMEN! My parents loved me through every stupid thing I ever did or said, but they d@m sure called me out on it and I paid for it whether extra chores or my rear end... it's what parents do... but allowing, condoning and encouraging this... gets you alot of attention in the end... | |
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Fact Checker
Posts: 16572
Location: Displaced Iowegian | Sooooo ..... pretty much nothing is "off limits" ......
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Folks on-line