This guy has sent up some red flags.  If you stay, expect your life to change and not in a good way.  I don't think it has anything to do with him being a horse person or a not..... the signs of being a controller are what would spook me. I'd spin around, kick up my heels and run toward new country.

People don't change. In fact, most issues that are there in the beginning, just get worse. 

My husband was very non-horsey... but he appreciated my passion for them and is now my biggest supporter... Just as I’m not huge into off-road sports, but I support him in what he loves as well. I couldn’t imagine being with someone who had a negative outlook on something I loved.

10 years worth of fights about me loving the horses more than him. I had horses when we got married. He grew up on a farm and had horses, but was never competitive on them. We rode together when we were dating then decidied he was done with horses and i should be too. So many tears, fights and ultimatiums. Guess who i still have and who is gone? Do not compromise yourself. I almost did and just never could quite bring myself to sell them even though I had quit racing and riding much it still didn't stop the fights. It was never enough, because the horses were always brought up about why I didn't clean house enough, spend enough time with him, spent too much money and just on and on. 

This!!!

My husband isn’t a horse person and my friends’ husbands are not either. Really it shouldn’t even be a factor. 

I'm married to a non-horse person. He's always been extremely supportive of my horse addiction. I, in turn, am supportive of his hunting addiction! We have a good "arrangement" where he handles the kiddos during the summer when I'm out barrel racing, and then I take charge during hunting season. Then we each get our alone time with our hobby. However, as the kids grow up (they are very little right now) , they'll start coming with to these things and it will be more a family affair! Hubby knows he is welcome to come ride whenever he wants or come along to my shows (before kids, he came along once in a while), but I obviously know it's not something he has a passion for and that is okay with me if he isn't interested in it. (Same goes for me with hunting! I don't mind some things, but it;s too boring for me, LOL)

I think the big different in your situation, which you seem to realize, is he is NOT currently supportive. If he's that way now, to NOT expect that to change when you are married. I understand he's gone through a lot, but YOU MATTER TOO. If you are uncomfortable, or feel pressured, or made to feel guilty, that's not good either. You shouldn't have to walk on eggshells. A relationship is a two-way street. You both matter. It has to work for both of you.

Yes! You are so right! He has been through a lot, but he is not more important in the relationship than she is. I hope she does not feel sorry for him and stay. 

This guy probably shouldn't be dating anybody right now. My first thought was he's super controlling and you should run but who knows if he really is or not. He has been through a trauma and gained a life to take care of in the process. Being a new parent is hard enough without that happening at the same time. His head is not where it should be at all. He should probably be in counseling. However, that does not mean that you should tolerate the way he is treatinig you which is the beginning stages of emotional abuse.

I feel so sorry for the young man and his daughter, and I agree that maybe he should take more time before being in a serious relationship.   To the OP, take some time away to see if this is really what you want.   I think being non-horsey isn't the issue.    I hope you make the decision that works best for you---and congratulations on your new horse

Ok after the new details you have shed light on: This man has a void in his heart, an emptiness that obviously would occur when losing your sig other especially this way. He is most likely subconsciously trying to fill that emptiness with the relationship you now share. He is dependent on you to "be there" even more than you probably would be expected otherwise. You are his band-aid.  I feel TERRIBLE for him but also, you can not be expected to fix his heart or fill the void for him. I don't think anyone has asked but how do YOU feel about him? Do you love him? Can't live without him? See a future with him?  If yes, communicate your thoughts with him thouroughly and see if it helps. If not, you know what to do. I am sure it feels like a lot on your sholders because of what he has been through. Just know that it is ok to not bare that burden if your heart isnt in it.   

Now that I've gotten a chance to read all the replies, I've got to agree with a few others who say the issue here isn't that he is a non-horse person, I think the issue is either he's still dealing with a recent major loss, is a single parent, and maybe either controlling or seems controlling bc that's his way of dealing with the loss. 

Like someone else mentioned, kind of sounds like a band-aid over a wound that needs stitches. 

Best of luck to you. I think I'd have to insist on some distance at least while you sort out your thoughts. 

Expectations need to be set up front. I'm happily married to a "non" horse person. We've been together for 22 years. He knew horses were a priority in my life and that it wouldn't change based on my relationship status. He respects that and continues to support me to this day. And although he doesn't ride them, he's become more of a "horse person" now with handling them and helping me with anything I need.

I like the idea of him not being a horse person. He's not telling me what to do with them, how to ride them, or trying to ride them himself. They're MY horses!

With the baby only being 5 months old when you started dating him, well kinda seems to me not long enought to grive the lost of his wife and he's trying to replace her with you and wants to beable to control you some, this is just not a good sign at all, like I was saying you sure do sound like a good, kind and caring lady, but this relationship just move way to fast I'm thinking on his end. Hugs to you in what ever you decide

I feel the same way about not being married to a non horse man, I can do what I want without being tolded how to ride and what to do with my horses, LOL

Horses aside. He sounds like he's an emotional manipulator, codependent, and like he hasn't fully grieved. There are 5 stages to grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance. He may have some mild depression as well, but he definitely has not coped with his loss in a healthy manner. He needs to get his head straight first, and he may never be successful with that. Keep in mind though, it's not your job to fix him. And you can't fix him. Codependent individuals are extremely difficult to be in a relationship with and they are excellent manipulators. Had I not quickly read that his SO had previously passed I would have said he probably has borderline personality disorder. Which he still might... 

P.S.
All this info is coming from a psychiatric mental health nurse practitioner =)

Yes to all this! We've only had one sort of major disagreement over the years and that's because he thought I was feeding them too much hay one winter and needed to cut back *eyeroll.* I just said yeah? Call our vet and tell him how much I feed and come back and tell me who he agrees with. He did call the vet. And I never heard another word. Lol! Otherwise, I could ride like a drunken monkey and he'd never know any better. Lol! 

ha ha ha ha ha , I think thats just too funny, A drunken Monkey ha ha ha ha

Run.......

I'm married to a non-horse person.  We have been married for over 4 years and together for almost 10 years total.  He is SO supportive of me and my barrel racing!  He never gets upset when I go to barrel races or have to spend $$ on the horses for hay, shoeing, or unexpected vet bills.  I usually haul to barrel races with my mom, but if I'm hauling alone, he will happily go along so I don't have to haul alone.  He's never controlling about any of it and even calls my mare "our daughter."

It CAN work if both parties are trusting, understanding, supportive, and non-controlling.

Call Dr Laura she will give you the best advice and straighten out your

thought process! 1-800- DR- LAURA