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  Fact Checker
Posts: 16575
   
Location: Displaced Iowegian | Three 4 Luck - 2014-01-21 2:45 PM Haha! The ear pull works wonders on my 8 year old.
I had to laugh outloud at this one....my youngest son (who is in his 40s) still says that one ear is longer than the other from where I tugged him out of the stores by the ear for being bad........He knew that IF I grabbed his ear and used his first and middle name that he was "In big trouble"......LOL | |
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 A Somebody to Everybody
Posts: 41354
Location: Under The Big Sky Of Texas | NJJ - 2014-01-21 3:00 PM Three 4 Luck - 2014-01-21 2:45 PM Haha! The ear pull works wonders on my 8 year old. I had to laugh outloud at this one....my youngest son (who is in his 40s) still says that one ear is longer than the other from where I tugged him out of the stores by the ear for being bad........He knew that IF I grabbed his ear and used his first and middle name that he was "In big trouble"......LOL
Ha ha ha ha ha,, now thats funny. I would give my boys the look from hell, then all would be quite....  | |
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 Experienced Mouse Trapper
Posts: 3106
Location: North Dakota | Three 4 Luck - 2014-01-21 2:55 PM I was just thinking--I know, scary--and don't feel like the Lone Ranger here. If we're honest, we have all been in a situation with one of our kids where we have to take a step back and admit what we're doing isn't working and needs to change. I applaud you for admitting that there is an issue you need to address differently and asking for help.
Oh absolutely, daily battle of wills, my daughter is 11, while she is a great kid, I still grind my teeth on occasion with her, I will be back in a couple years asking about how I should handle this teenager and her mood swings, I can only imagine! I want the OP to know that however, you were raised is only a reference, because I brought that up in my original post, I had no idea your situation as a child, which definitely can lead to some confusion and uncertainty on your part, I'm sure you wanted nothing more than a loving caring mother, and my dear that is what you are to your daughter! Keep working at it, this isn't easy, but it is so rewarding being a mom! | |
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 Veteran
Posts: 138
Location: MS | I have a 16 month old as well. From the moment he came into this world he has been very impatient, short tempered, and dramatic.
When he first became mobile I would pop his hand when he was doing something he wasn't supposed to. That turned in to him popping at others when he got mad. I was afraid he was imitating me so I stopped the popping. When he started throwing fits I would just ignore it. I believe in spanking but felt he was a little to young at that point. A few months ago his temper tantrums got a little worse but not as bad you're talking about. He would stomp his feet (run in place) and scream. If he was sitting (like at a restaurant in a highchair) he would kick and scream. After dealing with this in public a few times I decided the ignoring part wasn't working and I started spanking his little bottom. The temper tantrums have drastically reduced in just a few short weeks. He still throws one every now and then but not near as dramatic as before.
He understands what spanking means & you can ask him if he wants one and he will usually calm down. They are much smarter and understand a lot more than we realize.
Prayers for you! I know how hard it is! | |
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 Uh....never mind
Posts: 2696
Location: Midwest Farmer's Daughter: Central Illinois | Time out: age in years = number of minutes. So 1 minute, if you're wanting to go that route. Same as others said, if she gets up go put her back. Over & over & over until she gets it & every time you have to put her back, the time starts over.
If you choose to spank, make sure it's short, sharp & well-placed. Don't let your anger control the spanking. In fact, the worst thing ever is if they get put in time out to think about what they did & then get a spanking when they're calm to remind them of the consequences of their actions.
My aunt used to look at my cousin & say "isn't she funny" when she would do something TERRIBLE. Hitting her parents, 'spanking' the dog, kicking her sister, you name it. Violent little chit & she never got disciplined. Now she's a seriously disturbed teenager. Kinda creeps me out, actually. | |
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 Road Rash Expert
Posts: 5501
Location: Near San Antonio, TX | I can only offer prayers. I imagine it is very frustrating. My advise would be is never show weakness. If you say you are going to do something... do it. There have been times while driving down the road that I have told my daughter if she didn't do whatever I was going to pull over and spank her. If she pushed me, I would pull over when I really didn't want to (traffic bad, running late, etc) but I had to do it if I said I was going to. I honestly have a very good kid. She is 5 now, and if I even so much as raise my voice, her crying/shakey voice response is always "yes ma'am..." I honestly don't think I would have the patience for a strong willed kid.
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 Expert
Posts: 3782
Location: Gainesville, TX | My sister has a one year old and a three year old. She spanks and sends them to the happy chair. They cannot leave the happy chair until they have a happy face. It is so funny to see my three year old nephew go plop his but down real quick as he's crying and then put on a smile in 2 seconds and go back to playing. It's like a happiness button.
And sad to say, but it's going to get worse. Best to get a handle on it now in some way. | |
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 Neat Freak
Posts: 11216
Location: Wonderful Wyoming | You have lots of advice on here. Stay strong, don't try to make friends and stay consistent with your descipline is all that I agree with. We spank here at home. My oldest prefers it because it is over fast and he can continue to be a turd so he stands in the corner for LONG periods of time. The baby, 18 months old will break down and cry crocodile tears if you just tell him no. He is the easiest little guy I have ever been around. Loves to please.
There is a strategically placed pressure point in your shoulder, my dad knew it well. Kind of a hollow and he would grab us kids right there and drop us to our knees just with a quiet pinch. The pain is so intense you don't utter a word, much less cry. You also don't cry after because once he let go, you are too busy rubbing feeling back into it. Worked so well when standing in line at the grocery store or Wal mart. My brother and I (he was 6yrs younger) used to fight like crazy. He had 2 hands, one for each of us. :) | |
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 Elite Veteran
Posts: 766
Location: Texas | I haven't read all the pages but my two boys are 16 months apart. They are now in their twenties. Youngest graduated Baylor oldest will graduate Texas A & M this May.
You can only imagine having two that close!! LOL but they are best friends.
When they were small, if we went to the store and they acted up, I would get about two hairs on to of their head and get their attention. If that didn't work, I would swat them right there. They would be more embarrassed than in pain....LOL Same as being in a restaurant... Don't let her hold you hostage by keeping you afraid of what she might do.
One thing I would always do, is be consistant. You have to stick to your guns, so to speak, and always be consistant.
When they got in trouble, I didn't lie and say I was going to get them, I got them.
There was times after "getting" them I would go to my room and cry too, but let me tell you, in the long run, you will be so glad you did.
I would also hug them, because when they look up at you with those big ole tears and with their heart broke, because they got into trouble, I would hug them then I would tell them that I love them but they should have not done, so and so. I never pushed them away.
That is one thing I hate to hear is a mom who continually tells their child that they are going to get in trouble. They let their child push them to the point of going too far instead of going ahead and taking care of it.
Anyway that is my 3 cents worth.
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 Shipwrecked and Flat Out Zapped
Posts: 16390
Location: DUMPING CATS AND PIGS IN TEXAS :) | texas taz - 2014-01-21 4:34 PM I haven't read all the pages but my two boys are 16 months apart. They are now in their twenties. Youngest graduated Baylor oldest will graduate Texas A & M this May.
You can only imagine having two that close!! LOL but they are best friends.
When they were small, if we went to the store and they acted up, I would get about two hairs on to of their head and get their attention. If that didn't work, I would swat them right there. They would be more embarrassed than in pain....LOL Same as being in a restaurant... Don't let her hold you hostage by keeping you afraid of what she might do.
One thing I would always do, is be consistant. You have to stick to your guns, so to speak, and always be consistant.
When they got in trouble, I didn't lie and say I was going to get them, I got them.
There was times after "getting" them I would go to my room and cry too, but let me tell you, in the long run, you will be so glad you did.
I would also hug them, because when they look up at you with those big ole tears and with their heart broke, because they got into trouble, I would hug them then I would tell them that I love them but they should have not done, so and so. I never pushed them away.
That is one thing I hate to hear is a mom who continually tells their child that they are going to get in trouble. They let their child push them to the point of going too far instead of going ahead and taking care of it.
Anyway that is my 3 cents worth.
You look a lot younger in your Avatar picture...... | |
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Elite Veteran
Posts: 766
Location: Texas |  | |
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Shipwrecked and Flat Out Zapped
Posts: 16390
Location: DUMPING CATS AND PIGS IN TEXAS :) |  YAY!!!!! | |
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Extreme Veteran
Posts: 597
| Kids are far from unintelligent, IMHO there are a lot of things that can be talked through with a child, there's no reason to go ballistic over every single thing they do, a prompt, measured response is ALWAYS the right way.
She runs into the arena, I step of my horse and say "Jane, it is not safe for you to be in here while I am riding, go play with your toys." If that doesn't work, take yourself over there and PUT her where she needs to be. "Stay here, where it's safe for you, you can't run in there, you're tiny and this horse could squish you like a bug, when I'm finished it can be your turn to ride, but you will not ride if you run into the arena again. Do you understand me?" If she does it again stop riding put her in the car, put your horse up and leave. If she's as horse crazy as my kids are this will hurt her feelings and maybe she will scream about it, then you explain that she made the choice not to listen and therefor doesn't get to ride.
Hugs girl! Mommyhood is hard, chin up, we all get discouraged and wonder if we are doing right by our munchkins!! But your daughter is in the second year of life "pushing boundaries" phase, it's tiring and trying, just set your boundaries and stick to your guns. You CAN do this! | |
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 Undercover Amish Mafia Member
Posts: 9992
Location: Kansas | I've attached a video of get when we got to her grandma's house for dinner. This was takena few minutes ago.....notice how her fathers mother likes to give into herhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LbEbH808uCY&feature=youtube_gdata_player | |
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Expert
Posts: 1543
Location: MI | My kiddos go to their grandparents 3 days a week while a work - a different grandparent each day. A blessing, because it's free childcare and I LOVE that they get to know their grandparents, but yes, grandparents give in. I don't appreciate it, but I know they are loved and I WILL have well-behaved children in spite of this. I can't do anything about when I am not there, but when I am there, they know I expect respect and good manners, no whining, etc. That being said, when I go to pick them up after a long day of work, they are typically fried and try to whine/cry/be difficult to get in the car. It just happens...what I see in the video is a typical 16 month old. Just keep chanting, "This too, shall pass" :)
ETA - generally in those situations, if she was disobeying, I would carry my child in the other room and have a talk/time out/etc. with her, until she had calmed down and was going to listen. My mother-in-law couldn't stand to see them crying, so I would take them into the mud room/entry, shut the door, and have my 'talk'.
I agree, she sure is adorable!!
Edited by Ridenrun4745 2014-01-21 5:55 PM
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 Shelter Dog Lover
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Good luck getting grandma to cooperate, lol. In this video she looks like she is having to work at being mad. Grandma us going to find it too hard not to give in, you will just have to remove her from the situation. She sure is a cutie!! | |
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Member
Posts: 18
| First thing, DIET - NO JUNK FOOD - has she been tested for high blood sugar? My friends child was diagnosed with diabetes at age 5 and I swear that baby was the winiest thing I ever saw. Hitting only teaches hitting, yelling teaches them to yell, she is to old to have schooled her the easy way So now you have to look at it like retraining an older horse. I raised two boys both in college doing great! How skilled of a horse trainer are you? Only look at her when she is doing a good thing, she has you trained to give her attention for being bad. If you can't ignore bad behavior and praise good behavior you will have a tough 15 years coming. Get professional help but please don't hit or yell - it won't work - kids with spirit just get more aggressive when they are exposed to it. Good Luck It is all easier said than done. | |
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 Accident Prone
Posts: 22277
Location: 100 miles from Nowhere, AR | glideriders - 2014-01-21 5:56 PM First thing, DIET - NO JUNK FOOD - has she been tested for high blood sugar? My friends child was diagnosed with diabetes at age 5 and I swear that baby was the winiest thing I ever saw. Hitting only teaches hitting, yelling teaches them to yell, she is to old to have schooled her the easy way So now you have to look at it like retraining an older horse. I raised two boys both in college doing great! How skilled of a horse trainer are you? Only look at her when she is doing a good thing, she has you trained to give her attention for being bad. If you can't ignore bad behavior and praise good behavior you will have a tough 15 years coming. Get professional help but please don't hit or yell - it won't work - kids with spirit just get more aggressive when they are exposed to it. Good Luck It is all easier said than done.
Diet can have a huge impact on behavior, especially if there is an underlying issue. Experienced that first hand. Anyone with a child that has wild mood swings should look into blood sugar issues. My son has reactive hypoglycemia and he scared 10 years off my life during one of his crashes before we figured out the problem. | |
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Shipwrecked and Flat Out Zapped
Posts: 16390
Location: DUMPING CATS AND PIGS IN TEXAS :) | Roopsy! Just realized something on my drive home from work.....hope it's not too late :)Ummmm, back on page 1 where I said $3 for a clothes hanger, what I meant was $3 for a clothes line......you should not beat your kid with a clothes hanger......that would be bad......you can, however, pay me $3 and I will clothes LINE her. Hope that's all cleared up now and you aren't in jail. Best wishes :) | |
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Extreme Veteran
Posts: 448
Location: lone star state | Love and Logic parenting has some helpful advice. Google them and you will find lots of info that I have found helpful.
Just keep in mind that there is no perfect parenting plan and you have to try things that work for you and your child. There is a lot of truth to the old saying "it takes a village to raise a child" | |
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