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  That's White "Man" to You
Posts: 5515
 
| jw1990 - 2014-07-10 3:52 PM Whiteboy - 2014-07-10 3:49 PM Does he have and is he able to maintain employment? yes he has a very good well payin job, its an hour and a half away from where he lives so he is looking for once closer to home now, I mean hes not at all POS just this partyin stage is getting very tiresome
I say let him get it out of his system. Make sure he is picking them or you, if you go with him, he will do it forever. Eventually he will feel the need to be a responsible SO. If that doesn't happen, get rid of him. How old is he? |
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Location: louisiana | TrailGirl - 2014-07-10 3:56 PM
If you want to stick with it and try to make it better...you will have to talk with him. Â See where there can be compromise. Â If he just goes off alone with his single buddies every weekend...that would be a deal breaker for me this early in a relationship. Â But is he will compromise and be more even in doing things as a couple some of those weekends/weekend days...maybe go from there.
He was doing this for 2 months before you had him move in...so he likely figured that would be how things would stay. Â Now it may seem to him that you are changing the rules...when all along you never wanted to be doing it. Â Communicate your needs. Â If he won't meet in the middle...I know it is harsh to say...but I'd not waste more timeÂ
thankyou for the advice! he wants to do it all as a couple but ive told him just wore out on parting every weekend I need to see my friends to, so we tried to work a deal go with his friends on Friday an mine on Saturday or vise versa hopefully it will work out |
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Veteran
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Location: louisiana | Whiteboy - 2014-07-10 3:57 PM
jw1990 - 2014-07-10 3:52 PM Whiteboy - 2014-07-10 3:49 PM Does he have and is he able to maintain employment? yes he has a very good well payin job, its an hour and a half away from where he lives so he is looking for once closer to home now, I mean hes not at all POS just this partyin stage is getting very tiresome
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| jw1990 - 2014-07-10 3:55 PM
star1218 - 2014-07-10 3:53 PM
professional bachelors.... that's what this group will become. Might very well last into their 30s. Guys who love to party and pull decent incomes at good jobs. These types make fun friends but terrible boyfriends. I'd say move on. Â
that is the perfect name for it!! there is about 5 of them and 3 of them are room mates in big huge house wanting my bf to live there also but he opted out and wanted to live with me instead
well there's one good sign!! He's just doing the typical man thing...(at least that's what I call it). They get comfortable in the relationship, quit trying as hard to get in your pants, think that since they see you all week they need to be with there friends all weekend, don't understand why it's a big deal, you should just come too, pout when they don't get they're way, oh it goes on and on... I still have to remind my husband that he's not a teenager and he needs to snap back to reality! |
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Veteran
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Location: louisiana | FlyingJT - 2014-07-10 4:00 PM
jw1990 - 2014-07-10 3:55 PM
star1218 - 2014-07-10 3:53 PM
professional bachelors.... that's what this group will become. Might very well last into their 30s. Guys who love to party and pull decent incomes at good jobs. These types make fun friends but terrible boyfriends. I'd say move on. Â
that is the perfect name for it!! there is about 5 of them and 3 of them are room mates in big huge house wanting my bf to live there also but he opted out and wanted to live with me instead
well there's one good sign!! He's just doing the typical man thing... (at least that's what I call it ). They get comfortable in the relationship, quit trying as hard to get in your pants, think that since they see you all week they need to be with there friends all weekend, don't understand why it's a big deal, you should just come too, pout when they don't get they're way, oh it goes on and on... I still have to remind my husband that he's not a teenager and he needs to snap back to reality!
you have explained it to the T!! |
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Elite Veteran
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| jw1990 - 2014-07-10 3:55 PM star1218 - 2014-07-10 3:53 PM professional bachelors.... that's what this group will become. Might very well last into their 30s. Guys who love to party and pull decent incomes at good jobs. These types make fun friends but terrible boyfriends. I'd say move on. that is the perfect name for it!! there is about 5 of them and 3 of them are room mates in big huge house wanting my bf to live there also but he opted out and wanted to live with me instead
hmm I wonder why?
These types of guys are beyond irritating, can be the coolest guys in the world but they are giant man-children with money! That's why I say fun as friends NOT FUN as significant others. and you say he's 24 - well count on potentially 6+ more years before he MIGHT MIGHT MIGHT slow down. That's if any of his friends decide to slow down. |
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That's White "Man" to You
Posts: 5515
| jw1990 - 2014-07-10 3:59 PM Whiteboy - 2014-07-10 3:57 PM jw1990 - 2014-07-10 3:52 PM Whiteboy - 2014-07-10 3:49 PM Does he have and is he able to maintain employment? yes he has a very good well payin job, its an hour and a half away from where he lives so he is looking for once closer to home now, I mean hes not at all POS just this partyin stage is getting very tiresome 24
Give him until he is 25. If he cant figure life out by then, he is an anchor and draggin you with him. |
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 Party Girl
Posts: 12293
Location: Buffalo, Wyoming | star1218 - 2014-07-10 2:53 PM professional bachelors.... that's what this group will become. Might very well last into their 30s. Guys who love to party and pull decent incomes at good jobs. These types make fun friends but terrible boyfriends. I'd say move on.
You just explained my boyfriend to a T 10 year ago. We met when he was 35 and still kind of in that stage. He is now 40 and is totally out of it, has been for about 3 years now.
I hate to say it, if he took mine that long it will probably take this guys just as long. If I would have met mine when he was in his late 20's early 30's I would not have stuck around. |
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 Undercover Amish Mafia Member
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Location: Kansas | This is very fitting.....and no I'm not hijacking the thread
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Elite Veteran
Posts: 1079
| UTAHCANCHASER - 2014-07-10 4:13 PM star1218 - 2014-07-10 2:53 PM professional bachelors.... that's what this group will become. Might very well last into their 30s. Guys who love to party and pull decent incomes at good jobs. These types make fun friends but terrible boyfriends. I'd say move on. You just explained my boyfriend to a T 10 year ago. We met when he was 35 and still kind of in that stage. He is now 40 and is totally out of it, has been for about 3 years now.
I hate to say it, if he took mine that long it will probably take this guys just as long. If I would have met mine when he was in his late 20's early 30's I would not have stuck around.
yep I fully understand these guys. My husband is 32 next month and a large majority (not all - some are married with kids) of his friends will probably never get married. They hunt/fish/drink beer. They all own their own homes and have fantastic jobs. lots to offer a wife/family but they are set in their ways. Professional bachelors.
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Expert
Posts: 1857
| jw1990 - 2014-07-10 4:02 PM
FlyingJT - 2014-07-10 4:00 PM
jw1990 - 2014-07-10 3:55 PM
star1218 - 2014-07-10 3:53 PM
professional bachelors.... that's what this group will become. Might very well last into their 30s. Guys who love to party and pull decent incomes at good jobs. These types make fun friends but terrible boyfriends. I'd say move on. Â
that is the perfect name for it!! there is about 5 of them and 3 of them are room mates in big huge house wanting my bf to live there also but he opted out and wanted to live with me instead
well there's one good sign!! He's just doing the typical man thing... (at least that's what I call it ). They get comfortable in the relationship, quit trying as hard to get in your pants, think that since they see you all week they need to be with there friends all weekend, don't understand why it's a big deal, you should just come too, pout when they don't get they're way, oh it goes on and on... I still have to remind my husband that he's not a teenager and he needs to snap back to reality!
you have explained it to the T!!
well it will get better. I am always "b*tch'en" (what my husband likes to call it) to my friends that he's like a darn dog and a squirrel! He'll run a long pretty good and then SQUIRREL!!, sharp right into f'up land. One time he decided that he could be like the "young" boys and crawled his butt on this Banshee(type of 4-wheeler) and managed to run it into a telephone pole! Road rash his entire back, knocked himself out, and tore that stupid 4-wheeler up....all because he had to "hang" with the boys! one example of a "squirrel" incident. I laugh now but he was lucky I didn't send him to God that night I was so mad! He puts up with my bad points I guess I need to put up with his. Hang in there, he sounds like he's a pretty good guy for the most part, just still has some growing up to do. |
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Veteran
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Location: Along the Caney River | I have read the entire post. Ditch him!! I know people say he MIGHT change. We my Dad is 67 years old and is exactly the same way, never changed. My mother lived with him for 3 years. He partied every night and still continues to do it. He has went through so many relationships I have lost count. Do NOT waste your time on him.
If it is meant to be he will come to his senses and beg you back. Most likely it is not. You have to much to offer to stay in a relationship like this. What was said previously about respect.... LISTEN! HE does not respect you.
I was married before to a person who was good in the beginning but took a job where the guys partied a lot after work. He started hanging out with them and parting. Got to the point that he was late late coming home from work. I had enough. I dressed up, went to where they were, told him wanted my house key. His party buddy got in my face, didnt get the key. BUT when he came home he couldn't get in the house. He slept in his truck. I told him if he liked his buddies so much ... SLEEP with them and kicked him to the curb. WE divorced! WAsted to much time on him!
I am now in a great relationship with a wonderful man for the past 18 years! Good men who are not child like are out there. Remember you have to tell them exactly what you want and expect. MEN DO NOT GET HINTS!!!
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Veteran
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Location: louisiana | FlyingJT - 2014-07-10 4:15 PM
jw1990 - 2014-07-10 4:02 PM
FlyingJT - 2014-07-10 4:00 PM
jw1990 - 2014-07-10 3:55 PM
star1218 - 2014-07-10 3:53 PM
professional bachelors.... that's what this group will become. Might very well last into their 30s. Guys who love to party and pull decent incomes at good jobs. These types make fun friends but terrible boyfriends. I'd say move on. Â
that is the perfect name for it!! there is about 5 of them and 3 of them are room mates in big huge house wanting my bf to live there also but he opted out and wanted to live with me instead
well there's one good sign!! He's just doing the typical man thing... (at least that's what I call it ). They get comfortable in the relationship, quit trying as hard to get in your pants, think that since they see you all week they need to be with there friends all weekend, don't understand why it's a big deal, you should just come too, pout when they don't get they're way, oh it goes on and on... I still have to remind my husband that he's not a teenager and he needs to snap back to reality!
you have explained it to the T!!
well it will get better. I am always "b*tch'en" (what my husband likes to call it ) to my friends that he's like a darn dog and a squirrel! He'll run a long pretty good and then SQUIRREL!!, sharp right into f'up land. One time he decided that he could be like the "young" boys and crawled his butt on this Banshee (type of 4-wheeler ) and managed to run it into a telephone pole! Road rash his entire back, knocked himself out, and tore that stupid 4-wheeler up....all because he had to "hang" with the boys! one example of a "squirrel" incident. I laugh now but he was lucky I didn't send him to God that night I was so mad! He puts up with my bad points I guess I need to put up with his. Hang in there, he sounds like he's a pretty good guy for the most part, just still has some growing up to do.
hahaha that just made me laugh and like im sure Ihave flaws he deals with to and this is his only one I have found so far, he has had squirrel moment him self thinkin it would be ok to hang with guys at the casino which was all find and dandy..... until he didn't come home til 6:30 the next morning hung over from crown and couldn't make his MRI appointment.....and then had to deal with a mad gf to lets just say he hasn't done that one again |
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Elite Veteran
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| you might have flaws, but partying 4 nights a week is not justifiable.
sorry - this post has me all kinds of riled up. :) |
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Expert
Posts: 1857
| star1218 - 2014-07-10 4:23 PM
you might have flaws, Â but partying 4 nights a week is not justifiable.
sorry - this post has me all kinds of riled up. :) Â
Yeah you are right about that.... |
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 Fact Checker
Posts: 16575
Location: Displaced Iowegian | FlyingJT - 2014-07-10 4:26 PM star1218 - 2014-07-10 4:23 PM you might have flaws, but partying 4 nights a week is not justifiable.
sorry - this post has me all kinds of riled up. :) Yeah you are right about that....
Agreed.........Actually, threads like this make me shake my head and feel very sorry for some of these young ladies………WHY….WHY……WHY……would a person “allow” another to treat her with disrespect…….if he wants four nights a week to party….let him have all seven! And as much as I hate to say it….if he is already living with you, he has NO incentive to make the relationship work…… |
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 A Somebody to Everybody
Posts: 41354
Location: Under The Big Sky Of Texas | NJJ - 2014-07-10 5:00 PM FlyingJT - 2014-07-10 4:26 PM star1218 - 2014-07-10 4:23 PM you might have flaws, but partying 4 nights a week is not justifiable.
sorry - this post has me all kinds of riled up. :) Yeah you are right about that....
And all that parting has got to be really expensive now adays.
To me if y'all are living together you guys should be a couple no matter what, you should be first in his life, the parting and his single friends should be last on his list of making people happy. |
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 Thread Killer
Posts: 7545
| star1218 - 2014-07-10 5:15 PM UTAHCANCHASER - 2014-07-10 4:13 PM star1218 - 2014-07-10 2:53 PM professional bachelors.... that's what this group will become. Might very well last into their 30s. Guys who love to party and pull decent incomes at good jobs. These types make fun friends but terrible boyfriends. I'd say move on. You just explained my boyfriend to a T 10 year ago. We met when he was 35 and still kind of in that stage. He is now 40 and is totally out of it, has been for about 3 years now.
I hate to say it, if he took mine that long it will probably take this guys just as long. If I would have met mine when he was in his late 20's early 30's I would not have stuck around.
I've been reading these posts and mostly agreeing with everything...but this one...Huh? Some people don't want to get married and/or have a family, and never leave that "stage". I know, "crazy", right? (sarcasm) How sad (also sarcasm).
I guess I just find it odd that we congratulate a woman who is independent with her own house, hobbies, friends - and best of all - no man needed or desired. Then we do a 180 - a man in a similar position is immature or wasting his "worth" as a husband and father.
Just thinking out loud....
OP, I think you need to have a good talk with bf. It sounds like you are, indeed, on two different wavelengths and him a bit immature. If your priorities are too different, cut him loose. There's no need to waste time with this guy.
Edited by Just Plain Lucky 2014-07-10 6:33 PM
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Elite Veteran
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| Just Plain Lucky - 2014-07-10 6:31 PM
star1218 - 2014-07-10 5:15 PM UTAHCANCHASER - 2014-07-10 4:13 PM star1218 - 2014-07-10 2:53 PM professional bachelors.... that's what this group will become. Might very well last into their 30s. Guys who love to party and pull decent incomes at good jobs. These types make fun friends but terrible boyfriends. I'd say move on.  You just explained my boyfriend to a T 10 year ago.  We met when he was 35 and still kind of in that stage. He is now 40 and is totally out of it, has been for about 3 years now.Â
I hate to say it, if he took mine that long it will probably take this guys just as long. If I would have met mine when he was in his late 20's early 30's I would not have stuck around.Â
Â
I guess I just find it odd that we congratulate a woman who is independent with her own house, hobbies, friends - and best of all - no man needed or desired. Then we do a 180 - a man in a similar position is immature or wasting his "worth" as a husband and father.
Just thinking out loud....
OP, I think you need to have a good talk with bf. It sounds like you are, indeed, on two different wavelengths and him a bit immature. If your priorities are too different, cut him loose. There's no need to waste time with this guy. Â
I only mean some guys have priorities that will never include a gf. That's totally fine unless like the OP - u are currently trying to date one! Try and talk to him OP but if he can't have a mature conversation about your feelings I'd seriously consider moving on. |
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Thread Killer
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| star1218 - 2014-07-10 10:10 PM Just Plain Lucky - 2014-07-10 6:31 PM star1218 - 2014-07-10 5:15 PM UTAHCANCHASER - 2014-07-10 4:13 PM star1218 - 2014-07-10 2:53 PM professional bachelors.... that's what this group will become. Might very well last into their 30s. Guys who love to party and pull decent incomes at good jobs. These types make fun friends but terrible boyfriends. I'd say move on. You just explained my boyfriend to a T 10 year ago. We met when he was 35 and still kind of in that stage. He is now 40 and is totally out of it, has been for about 3 years now.
I hate to say it, if he took mine that long it will probably take this guys just as long. If I would have met mine when he was in his late 20's early 30's I would not have stuck around.
I guess I just find it odd that we congratulate a woman who is independent with her own house, hobbies, friends - and best of all - no man needed or desired. Then we do a 180 - a man in a similar position is immature or wasting his "worth" as a husband and father.
Just thinking out loud....
OP, I think you need to have a good talk with bf. It sounds like you are, indeed, on two different wavelengths and him a bit immature. If your priorities are too different, cut him loose. There's no need to waste time with this guy.
I only mean some guys have priorities that will never include a gf. That's totally fine unless like the OP - u are currently trying to date one! Try and talk to him OP but if he can't have a mature conversation about your feelings I'd seriously consider moving on.
Oh, ok, sorry for the misunderstanding. I hope you don't think I was jumping down your throat, but I see the attitude I described a lot and...well I'm tired of it. LOL
Anyway, I agree with you. |
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