|
|
 The Bling Princess
Posts: 3411
  
Location: North Dakota | FlyingJT - 2014-08-06 4:43 PM WYOTurn-n-Burn - 2014-08-06 4:31 PM STALKER STALKER STALKER!!! I'd be packin some heat and watching my back. I'd also report his sick a$$ to your HR department for harrassment! Definately not normal behavior. I'm pretty sure he knew you were married and have kids, even if you didn't tell him, co-workers just know details like that and for him to profess his love just screams sicko to me! Be careful! I was very taken back and all I could think about is..... dude you know I'm married..and.. how did I get myself into this mess! I'm nice to everyone and I don't have people professing their everlasting love for me daily or nothing! If he says one more thing out of line I'm going to have to take it to my boss, but I'm afraid that since their friends that my boss won't believe me.
I can only imagine how taken aback you were! That's pretty dang weird behavior on his part. Late 20s and he's walking back and forth to the water cooler trying to get you to notice him. WTHeck are we 12 here? That sort of behavior make me think he is a can short of a 6 pack. Also, you did not get yourself into anything, you were just being nice and there is nothing wrong with being nice. HE is the one crossing the line, not you. Don't wait to tell your boss, you need to tell them right away. If they are friends go above your boss' head and tell his manager. Explain to them that you felt it would have been a conflict of interest with them being friends. Stay safe! |
|
| |
|
 A Somebody to Everybody
Posts: 41354
 
Location: Under The Big Sky Of Texas | This guy sounds really creepy and could trun out to be a stalker, I woul go to boss and give him/her a heads up about this, and yes I agree on telling hubby and let him in on this. Carefull girl... |
|
| |
|
 Chatty Kathy
Posts: 6635
Location: In Ky following Barrel Races & Walker hounds. | Do this next time hes around, should fix it.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A8QNozpMn40 |
|
| |
|
The Resident Destroyer of Liberal Logic
Location: PNW | Sounds like you work at a school of some sort? Tell the AD, and the Superintendent. |
|
| |
|
 Expert
Posts: 1857
|
Oh my goodness! That's the nastiest thing I've ever seen! Hahahahaha! She can't be serious, she sniffed her fingers! Eeww!!!  |
|
| |
|
 Expert
Posts: 4121
Location: SE Louisiana |
We're trying to shoo him away.. Not turn him on... |
|
| |
|
 Expert
Posts: 1482
Location: on my horse | This post brings up very bad memories of a similar problem I had. what he told you was almost verbatim what my stalker told me about admitting my true feelings. All I have to say is report this right now to the higher ups, all of them ASAP and if they don't take it seriously keep going up the ladder, take some time off work if you have to until you get someone to take this seriously.
DO NOT TAKE THIS LIGHTLY
Get a no contact order served on him if you can, repeated unwanted advances should be grounds enough for that and maybe that will put some fear into him.
If he feels an opportunity he can and will hurt you.
I know this all sounds harsh but it is the cold hard truth, speaking as a former victim of stalking take control of this situation now.
Edited by redmansmyman11 2014-08-06 7:08 PM
|
|
| |
|
Extreme Veteran
Posts: 330
| "He said sorry and that one day he hopes that I can tell him the truth about how I feel about him"
OP, he obviously doesn't get what you mean. If he did, he wouldn't still be saying that you'll change your mind later.
I highly suggest you read "The Gift of Fear" by Gavin de Becker. In The Gift of Fear, de Becker draws on his extensive expertise to explode the myth that most violent acts are random and unpredictable and shows that they usually have discernible motives and are preceded by clear warning signs. Through dozens of compelling stories from his own career and life, he unravels the complexities of violent behavior and details the pre-incident indicators (PINs) that can determine if someone poses a danger to us. Readers learn how to:
•Recognize the survival signals that warn us about risk from strangers
•Rely on their intuition
•Separate real from imagined danger
•Predict Dangerous Behavior
•Evaluate whether someone will use violence
•Move beyond denial so that their intuition works for them
Offering in-depth solutions to people who are dealing with domestic abuse or workplace violence or who are the targets of unwanted pursuit, de Becker also provides unique insight into death threats, stalkers, assassins, children who kill, and mass killers. After reading The Gift of Fear, individuals will be able to confidently answer life’s highest-stakes questions:
•Will the employee I must fire react violently?
•How should I handle the person who refuses to let go?
•What is the best way to respond to threats?
•What are the dangers posed by strangers?
•How can I help my loved ones be safer?
The Gift of Fear is an important book about human behavior, one which has left millions of readers stronger and safer.
|
|
| |
|
Hungarian Midget Woman
Location: Midwest | This, ps there are swears
but it works
http://youtu.be/8wRXa971Xw0 |
|
| |
|
Veteran
Posts: 238
| RE: HR department. If you work for a school's athletic department, you do have an HR department. Who cuts your paycheck? That's all done through your HR person. THAT is who you go to. They are there for YOUR protection.
They need to know that there is a situation. |
|
| |
|
  Roan Wonder
Location: SW MO | Has he ever seen your husband maybe you need him to come to work one day. Most men are terrified of my husband. I don't know why they all think he one person you wouldn't want to make mad |
|
| |
|
 Cute Little Imp
Posts: 2747
Location: N Texas |
Ha! Greatness. |
|
| |
|
 Expert
Posts: 1304
| Lmao, I'm rolling  |
|
| |
|
The Advice Guru
Posts: 6419
| How is today going? |
|
| |
|
Expert
Posts: 1857
| cheryl makofka - 2014-08-07 11:24 AM
How is today going?
Well, I'm alive! He hasn't said anything to me but I still notice him walking by my office and staring. I didn't say anything to my boss but I did over hear him ask why he was always hanging around. I think maybe he notices. It's lunch time and he left so I'm going to make my run to the restroom and kitchen and make it back to my office before he gets back. |
|
| |
|
The Advice Guru
Posts: 6419
| FlyingJT - 2014-08-07 12:02 PM
cheryl makofka - 2014-08-07 11:24 AM
How is today going?
Well, I'm alive! He hasn't said anything to me but I still notice him walking by my office and staring. I didn't say anything to my boss but I did over hear him ask why he was always hanging around. I think maybe he notices. It's lunch time and he left so I'm going to make my run to the restroom and kitchen and make it back to my office before he gets back.
Go tell your boss!
You should not be working in fear of any sort even if it is awkwardness.
As I said before go tell your boss as if he is asking stop the rumours that may begin before they begin.
Glad you are alive. |
|
| |
|
 Northern Chocolate Queen
Posts: 16576
Location: ND | I had a fairly similar situation at a job. My supervisor was part owner in the company as well as very good friends with the owner/boss. Supervisor decided it was entertaining to come into my office & play with my hair....even asked me to bring a brush to work so he could comb it! He was incredibly creapy!!! I didn't feel like talking to my boss about it would do any good since him & the supervisor got along so well. So I told another co-worker who I was good friends with, he thought is was amusing & had a little fun teasing me about it.....until the day him & I where moving some boxes & supervisor walked by & made a comment to me that I really should get a sexy tattoo on my lower back......My friend went to the boss at that point (as he was basically the bosses adopted son). I only worked there another 6 months or so but my supervisor never said another 5 words to be & was never in my office alone again.
|
|
| |
|
 Veteran
Posts: 292
Location: Northeast Nebraska | Why do people feel the need to be nice to idiots like this? Tell the MOFO off, file a complaint against him and tell your husband what he's doing! Oh, and pack some heat, because this freak could be dangerous. |
|
| |
|
Veteran
Posts: 292
Location: Northeast Nebraska | FlyingJT - 2014-08-06 2:24 PM I just told him, not 5 minutes ago, that I am very sorry that he is attracted to a married women but I am married, happily with two children for over 10 years, and he is going to have to get over it because there is nothing that will, could, maybe happen. That i'm very sorry to sound mean and that I don't care about his feelings but things need to return back to normal. He said sorry and that one day he hopes that I can tell him the truth about how I feel about him..... awkward!!!!! (I don't understand this guy) He then gave me a hand shake and disappeared! Luckily I'll never have to be alone with this person but unfortunately I'm the only female in my office and I have told one other person and like my husband he thought it was funny and nothing to worry about.. Maybe being a female I look differently at things but I feel like this is something to worry about.
Oh my God, I just read this after I already commented once. File a sexual harrassment claim against him AND the idiot that laughed and dismisssed you. File a restraining order with the police. Tell your husband and carry a gun. This nut IS DANGEROUS. |
|
| |
|
Veteran
Posts: 292
Location: Northeast Nebraska | FlyingJT - 2014-08-07 12:02 PM cheryl makofka - 2014-08-07 11:24 AM How is today going? Well, I'm alive! He hasn't said anything to me but I still notice him walking by my office and staring. I didn't say anything to my boss but I did over hear him ask why he was always hanging around. I think maybe he notices. It's lunch time and he left so I'm going to make my run to the restroom and kitchen and make it back to my office before he gets back.
FILE THE COMPLAINTS. The boss talked to HIM and not you? FILE A COMPLAINT ON HIM TOO. This is a DANGEROUS situation and being nice is NOT going to save you. The gun does no good in your car if he decides to slaughter you in your cube during lunch because you didn't bring him a sammich. |
|
| |
Folks on-line