I can relate to so many of these...

My response to the "how good/fast are you?" question is usually "not the best but also not the worst." Or I like to throw out that I once won $960 at the BRF... but don't mention that it was because I got 3rd in the slowest division

My biggest pet peeve is when I actually take a friend or family member riding who doesn't offer or bother to help and I'm stuck putting away all the tack on my own, rinsing horses off, fly spray, etc while the person sits on her duff and drinks tea. Or the same said family member who offers to take her friends riding because her sister-in-law has nice horses. And this is riding WITHOUT me present. Um, no!!

Once someone called me up asking me why she kept seeing "all these poor horses wearing blindfolds" on her drive down to Kansas. She felt pretty silly when I straightened her out.

And I don't know how many times I've been asked to give kids riding lessons. Nope, don't have the right horses or facilities.

Let me tell this one about this girl, who was newly married to a guy that lived close by. We knew them but were NOT close friends. Heck I wouldn't even say we were friends at all. We just knew who they were and they had stopped by a time or two when we had other neighbors over. She "owned a horse" and pretended to be a super competitive barrel racer but "in mexico". It was painfully obvious she was telling stories and didn't know much at all about horses. Anywho..she showed up at our house one day and said that her dad was bringing her horse to her from Texas and that she told him that she could keep him at her friends house "meaning our place". My husband was like "uhh it can't come here, we don't have room". She argued with him and said "but you have plenty". I was not home when this happened but OMG. The audacidy!!!!!!!

I have also had people message me on FB asking to teach their kid to rope or barrel race. They don't own a horse, tack or anything. I know they have no idea but those things cost a lot of money and we all have our tack adjusted perfectly for ourselves. Not to mention our horses... fine tuned competitors..  We are supposed to provide you all of that to learn?

Latest message "I see your husband outside training all the time. Does he train kids? I have a 14 year old that has ridden barrels a little but not alone. She wants to learn to rope"

Most honestly don't realize how much they are asking of someone when they send those messages. 

Thank gosh there are a couple of folks in my area that give lessons and I refer them there.

I am going to get backlash, but oh I don't care. 

I see so many responding, how dare they ask?  Does anyone remember when you first started riding?  Do you remember being a girl/boy in the city, who just wanted to pet a horse?  Sure, what they are asking - to ride your horse, use your trailer etc isn't feasible or something you would do.  But, come on folks, I surely hope you aren't this way in the real world, as you are with what you are posting on here. 

People have to start somewhere if they aren't used to horses.  They need the knowledge from someone who has horse experience. 

I am not saying, let them feed them treats, come to your house when you aren't home to pet the horses, ride your 1D barrel horse, or even use your tack/vehicles. 

But, maybe, just maybe extend a hand and think of a way you could help a kid, an adult etc to get into horses the proper way. 

I think the point of most of these stories is the fact that people aren't asking a way that is acceptable.  Most of the stories is they already think the answer is yes and the question is an after thought. 

Getting a genuine person started typically doesn't start with the dumb questions most of these people are asking! It starts with a quiet kid sitting on the bleachers every week watching intently, or watching across the yard for days before every approaching the owner or the horse. But coming onto property without consent is a NO-NO! 

Agree 100%. If their intentions are right, I don't mind helping out. If they just assume I'll give in to their every whim, or they "ask" in a way that implies they expect you to say yes, then that's when I have a problem. Especially if it's someone I never hear from until they need a favor.

And, I stated that you wouldn't let people on your property without your consent. 

Again, not all people even know at first where to go to watch horse activities.  Their parents might not be aware of where to go.  I surely couldn't tell you where all the ball fields are in my area. 

And, like in all things, we are uneducated to make intelligent statements until we "learn the lingo", which would mean hanging around with knowledgeable horse people.  And, no question is dumb.  Not asking is. 

Yep. It's the few people I've dealt with (like the gal from middle school I hadn't spoken to in 10 plus years, or the neighbors who we didn't know who wanted to bring their grandkids over when we weren't home) that assume that just because I have it they're entitled to it are the ones I have no tolerance for.  I've given pony rides to my neices, close friends' kids, and I've let a few girls that were doing 4H/fun shows climb on my horse and trot a few patterns to get a feel for something I was trying to convey when we were just riding around at an open ride. I don't mind helping others out. Plenty of people  have lended me a hand, that's for sure. The difference here is I knew and trusted these people and had a relationship with them. 

I was at a rodeo in Alberta years ago. A father and young child were standing just on the other side of a fence, watching me mud my horses legs. The father waited for as long as he could, then finally coughed, said 'excuse me' "But, is that what you call a paint horse?"

..................'cuz i was painting her legs'

I see what you are saying. I do think it is important to remember that we all started somewhere. I have taught many people how to ride. When I was in midde/high school we had a couple of broke geldings and I pretty well forced all of my friends to learn to ride when they came over to stay with me. I recently taught a 10 year old kid to run barrels on my good horse. I was that kid you are speaking of at a time period when my parents had divorced and sold all the horses and lived in town. I'd do anything to be around horses. Feed, brush them, anything. When we are hauling somewhere and I get asked by kids at the gas station if they can pet the horses my answer is always yes. I welcome spectator kids to pet my horse at rodeos. Had a van full of my childs daycare mates come over and tour the barn. You can tell the difference in people who genuienly want to learn and are respectful. The questions are different. "Do you know anyone that gives riding lessons" "Do you have any advice on how to get into this sport" "do you know of any beginner horses for sale" "can my kid do some barn chores in exchange for instruction" "can we go to a show with you sometime and see what it is all about" "are there any local riding clubs we can look into"

These are the types of questions that make me want to be involved and help out. 

I know that most non horse people genuinely don't know better, because they have no experience in this area. I don't think it is mallicious. I think asking the right questions and doing a little research on your own before hand is key.  

My neighbors come over and pet my horses all the time. I don’t see a problem with that at all. My horses love the attention and they aren’t hurting anything 

we used to live in the city limits but had 5 acres. People would pull over in my driveway just to watch me ride. It was harmless and didn’t bother me, if I wasn’t in a hurry I would lead my horse and ask if they wantef to pet him. The excitement they got out of it was awesome and it just took a couple minutes. You never know what people are going through and sometimes it’s the small things that make people’s day.

I get more annoyed by people who think they are horse people and ask or say dumb things!

Exactly.. I'm not about to have that jerk of a guy who basically told me to shut up because he was certain my hubby paid for my horses come over and attempt to ride my horses and take goofy selfies so he can post pics of himself living the cowboy way on social media. Nope nope and nope!!! If I knew a kid that was eager to learn and didnt just want to hop on horsey and walk around, I'd be all about mentoring him or her... theres so much more to it than just owning and riding these horses! I'd teach them how to catch, tack one up, cleaning stalls, feeding, grooming etc etc... that would weed out the ones that are just looking to ride a horse once just because I have horses ... as far as borrowing our trucks and trailers ... we've been burned in the past... my hubby will typically always help someone out but will do it himself instead of lending out everything... we know maybe 5 people we would turn our stuff over to, to borrow without even a thought... 

I think people don’t know they are not asking in an appropriate way. They have no idea about our culture and how we feel about our animals. 

This 1000 x over on the "what's your fastest time." Duh, I always say "where?" Always have people from work wanting to come ride, most have never, ever ridden. OH and just TRY to explain the "D" system! Many blank stares!

I remember when a steer wrestler with a very nice horse had a youngster ask if he could get on his horse.  No parents around.....just the kid in bare feet.  Cowboy reluctantly said okay thinking he would just sit there, so he let him on.  Kid dug his heels in and took off.  It was a chore chasing him down.  Bet cowboy never did that again.

This thread is fascinating because my experience has been the polar opposite. I have a quiet, beginner safe gelding that anyone can ride. I've offered rides on him to friends, family, coworkers, heck even my massage therapist. I've yet to have one actually take me up on it lol. Nobody has ever once actually asked me to ride my horse or anything like that. I do board though, so nobody knows I have horses unless I tell them. 

I also have to say, I do appreciate those of you who are patient with well-intentioned people that clearly know nothing and might show up at your house and ask to pet your horse. (Not the entitled a-holes though, obviously). My dad had horses and rodeo'd and all that (a looooong time ago), but my mom has never in her life been on a horse. I remember when I was little, she would stop at our neighbors houses who owned horses and ask if we could pet them. They were always nice about it and I remember two that we stopped at frequently. They taught me how to feed horses bits of grass out of my hand. Whenever we saw a big facility that looked like it might be a boarding/lesson facility, she'd stop in and ask. I got my intro to horses and riding lessons thanks to nice people that were willing to help us out.

I guess I have had different experiences than most. I don’t mind the people who have never been around horses, the ones that drive me crazy are the people who do only local play day or horse show a couple times a year and think they are expert horseman. They think everyone who wins drugs their horse, you never use the horn going around the barrel, going to the vet is for three legged lame horses, etc. Before anyone gets their panties in a wad, I will freely admit that there are playday people who know their stuff. But, most of those compete at bigger competitions, too, or used to. 

I'm gonna revisit my post. . . My cousin's then husband was a turd, that was the reason be wasn't getting on my horses.  He wanted to prove something and it just wasn't happening on my watch; you just had to know him.  

I WAS that little girl that wanted to just pet a horse.   My grandmother was completely terrified of horses, but there was a rodeo arena about half a mile from her house in Lake Village.   I spent every Saturday night with her, and sometimes she would stop in and let me sit on the bottom row to watch for a little.   It was the highlight of my Saturday.   My dream was to one day get to just ride double in that arena---never did, and it's gone.   But I have ridden my own horses in other arenas now, and it felt as great as I thought it would!   We have been involved with a therapeutic riding center where we hauled horses (our own and others) and kids to events and trail rides. We've taken our horses and a local boy to a hunting event for handicapped/underprivileged kids and let anyone that wanted to ride get on.  And what a blessing to see a young boy in a wheelchair want to ride while his mother cried with joy.  He rode and I cried too.  Chandler has taken kids on rides while we were at a Civil War remembrance event.  I'm not saying this to pat myself on the back.  I just wanted to clarify that I remember what it was like to just touch that soft nose and look into those dark eyes and know pure magic. . . .  And believe me when I say I thank that friend that put me on her trained cutting horse.   I told her I'd mess him up because I didn't know what I was doing and my leg wouldn't move on the left side.   My angel said "Deb, have a good time on him, you can't mess Copey up."   And I've never looked back.  

I bet we all figured he was a buthead! You are such a good person and are always willing to help, encourage, uplift etc.! Never would I imagine you turning some one away without a VERY good reason!

i should clarify too.  Not everyone who comes up to ask about our horses are doing so with good intentions, I realize that. I am not the most approachable person so maybe the jerks don’t want to talk to me. Some of the people mentioned definitely don’t need to be tolerated. But I always remember me as a little girl carefully begging my dad for a horse. I won in the end, lol. But what if I had not? I would probably be the one asking to just be near some ones horse, if only to breath their scent in and revel in the horse’s presence.