Does this man have a strong support system from relatives/family or even the deceased wife's family?  I hope that he does.  Because he jumped into a serious relationship way too soon.  He hasn't dealt with the loss in a healthy way.  They need to help him see that.

He may have been just as controlling with the mother of the child...I don't guess you could know.  But whatever the answer there...you need to distance yourself.  It's not the fact that he is not into the horses.  If you can't even run errands or have any time to yourself it won't matter what your hobby is...he will expect you to replace it with whatever he wants you to be doing.  Which sounds like being attentive to HIS needs 24/7.  That's not an equal partnership and no one can be happy in that scenario for long.

It's unfortunate...but I would be taking a step back and telling him exactly why. 

Well after many conversations that seemed to go ok the #$^* hit the fan and it's over. He got better about not showing his irritation when I went to ride, but I could still tell he wasn't thrilled about it. The straw that broke the camel's back: I went out with some friends and decided not to go to his house afterwards. He sent a few texts about how he will never be first and I only want to be in a relationship "sometimes" because my other activities take prescedence over him. That's it. I'm not walking around every day worried about what I'm going to be in trouble for next. He broke up with me over text and said that it's for the best that we both move on and he wished me the best of luck. I did not respond. I'm sure he will call or text back and try to get me to feel guilty but it's not going to work AGAIN. I hope that someday we can be friends, but until then I will not be having any contact with him. Thank you everyone for the responses, it really gave me a lot to think about and the strength I needed to stay away. I almost do feel guilty becuase instead of heartbreak right now all I feel is relief. 

On another note, the 3 year old I bought is AMAZING and I love him so much. He's not as broke as I thought he was, still bucks in the lope on occasion but nothing crazy. Has a decent handle, but he will get better with that as I've only had him a couple weeks. I think he honestly just needs some wet saddle blankets. Any fun little exercise ideas y'all have that I can do with him to keep him from getting bored, please help! He will be my tall, dark, and handsome and not get jealous or clingy or mad when I can't make it out to the barn to go see him. 

So happy you are out of that toxic relationship! 

Good for you for standing up for your self, you are number 1 and it needs to stay that way untill you have your own kido's. This man is a bit of a control freak it sounds like and he only thinks of himself.

So glad to hear you've sorted this thing out and walked away...I don't think anything you did could have made him happy. I feel for him after he experienced such a loss, but sounds like he wasn't ready for a relationship yet. 

YOU though, you enjoy your 3 yr old!

Glad to hear, controlling is no way to live. Hugs to you.

Thanks for updating. Good for you. Sounds like you made the right choice for yourself. I hope he is able to find someone more suited for his lifestyle/expectations. Do you girl. Best of luck!

sorry, that was an accidentle click

I am married to a non-horse person, and personally I love it. He is interested in my horse world but he doesn't want to ride, and that's okay. He does worry about my safety, but I am super careful about what I throw my leg over, I always wear a helmet and safety does come first. I appreciate that he is concerned for my safety, because at the end of the night I want to come home to him safe and sound. 

If you ask me, based on your first post I would be concerned if this is the right person for you. My previous relationship I was in, the guy I was with was a horse person. Together at one point we have 7 horses together, and while it did make things a little easier when I went to barrel races, feeding, etc.. I also saw this person makes some stupid decisions with MY horses which caused them to get hurt (I watched him put my colt in a bad situation simply because he was showing off in front of his friends, my colt sliced his leg wide open on a bleacher, had to have stitches, antibiotics, whole nine yards.. could of been avoided. I sat there and watched the whole thing). He was not a great person. He was exceptionally proud and arrogant. I dated him for 3 years and after him, I know that I don't need my husband to be a horse person. Needless to say, I dodged a bullet. He was the only 'horse person' I ever dated.. and you know what, I don't need it. 

Horses are my sanctuary. That is my hobby and my personal time to myself. I don't force my husband to try and ride, if he ever tries it will be his decision. Also, he has a very important job, and if he gets injured then literally he would be screwed and would not be able to work.  He understands my passion and love for them, and he encourages me to go out to the barn even though I am always eager to come back home to spend time with my husband because I treasure our time together. I used to think horses were a non-negotiable thing until I met my husband.. and he may say that my horse comes before him and sometimes that is true, but if it came down to it, I'd sell my horse if I had to.. only because he would never ask that of me and he sacrificed a lot for  me to let me have this life and my appreciation goes a long way.

Finding the right person for you is what its all about.. once you meet that 'right' person, your whole view on life will change. Your priorities will change.  

ETA: Just saw your update. The fact that you felt relief once you ended the relationship says something. Glad you followed your gut, you don't need negativity like that in your life!

My other half is NOT a horse person at all. We have been together for 8 years and he has ridden with me 1 time since we started dating. I don't think your partner has to be a horse person BUT they need to support your passion. They don't have to ride with you, help you with chores every day, or go to every single race with you to support you but they need to be part of that support system. They are my horses and therefore my problem but he also understands that sometimes it would be nice for him to come to help me. Like I'll clean stalls while he fills buckets or something to take an item off the checklist, or when I'm feeling under the weather he will go feed for me (if the directions are on the whiteboard lol). He helps support me where he can best like dragging the arena, fixing things around the farm and he is what keeps our hay operation going. He is into drag racing and I think that makes a HUGE difference when they have a passion of their own.  You have to be willing to be a cheerleader and support their dreams too. We don't have the same main hobby but we both appreciate all the blood sweat and cuss words that go into them. I have dated non-horse guys before him that didn't get it because they didn't have their own competitive hobby. I know this might sound strange, but both of you should take the "love languages quiz" to help make sure all your needs are met. Quality time might be his so that is why he is fearful that you will spend more time at the barn and not much with him. However, this is a lifestyle that you had before him, if he can't handle it now, it will only get worse as time goes on. I dealt with that same thing in a previous relationship. 

EDIT: Just saw the update. Good for you! Boy BYE! 

I was going to respond but read through and saw that you have already taken care of the situation.

Good for you for not giving up your passion.  The right one will come along, don't give up on your passion.

My husband is a non-horse person but is the most supportive person. Initially he was hesistant around the horses now he will help where he can. He cleans a great stall, he can walk them to and from turn out, he will come to the races etc. He was a professional basketball player overseas so he understands the commitment to your sport so time spent is never an issue. He will even trail ride. So I don't think the issue is a "non" horse person as much as it is incompatibility. Some just don't understand, they aren't flexible and do not want to learn.