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  Damn Yankee
Posts: 12390
   
Location: Somewhere between raising hell and Amazing Grace | I think what isn't helping is we both know as soon as we tell his parents they will rage and blame me for everything. I know it shouldn't matter but it's just the last thing I need. I have to take them to dr spots Thursday so hubby agreed to wait until after then to tell them. I know it's wrong to wait but I just cannot be around them if they blame me.
dr appointment went well. Still have to do the series of blood work to be for sure I don't need surgery at all. He was very positive and has a way of always making me feel better. He encouraged us to try again but just wait at least a month for the physical aspect, and as long as we need for the emotional. He said it will still be risky but not to give up. |
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 Dr. Ruth
Posts: 9891
Location: Blissfully happy Giants fan!!! | Many prayers to you missroselee. I am so sorry for your loss but I feel better knowing your husband is taking extraordinary care of you.  |
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 Neat Freak
Posts: 11216
Location: Wonderful Wyoming | many prayers to you. I know it is hard, been there. I have a close friend that lost 3 or 4 babies from 8-12 weeks. Her body has a hard time with folic acid. She had 2 babies though, a girl and boy. Both tried to come at 5 months but with great Dr's she carried them long enough neither needed NICU.
I know another lady that has Iron issues so has had some miscarriages and just had a healthy baby girl. I'm not sure of what your high risk is, but prayers for a healthy baby when you are ready |
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 BHW Resident Surgeon
Posts: 25351
Location: Bastrop, Texas | I'm sorry you are going through this. I have learned to console my oldest daughter after she miscarried 3 times. Finally, she was able to carry a pregnancy to term and then another right after that. It is true that with each spontaneous abortion, your chances of another increase, but a person can miscarry several times, and still have a successful pregnancy. We do know that spontaneous abortions are underestimated and they occur a lot more often than we realize. It is said that usually there is a reason for many spontaneous abortions, if that's any consolation.
What's most important right now is that you are seeing your doctor and getting all of your questions and concerns addressed by him/her. |
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Elite Veteran
Posts: 738
Location: Anywhere my horses are ! Lost in Texas!!!!! | hugs for you |
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 Undercover Amish Mafia Member
Posts: 9991
Location: Kansas | Many prayers for you and your husband Tiff |
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 Looking for Lady Jockey
Posts: 3747
Location: Rodeos or Baseball games | |
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Go Get Em!
Posts: 13503
Location: OH. IO | Continued prayers, im thinking and praying for you both. No ONE should be blaming you,shame on them if they cant see your greiving and sadness. You are right about one thing, you are married to a wonderful man, and your love for him is amazing. |
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Damn Yankee
Posts: 12390
Location: Somewhere between raising hell and Amazing Grace | HotbearLVR - 2013-12-02 10:55 AM I'm sorry you are going through this. I have learned to console my oldest daughter after she miscarried 3 times. Finally, she was able to carry a pregnancy to term and then another right after that. It is true that with each spontaneous abortion, your chances of another increase, but a person can miscarry several times, and still have a successful pregnancy. We do know that spontaneous abortions are underestimated and they occur a lot more often than we realize. It is said that usually there is a reason for many spontaneous abortions, if that's any consolation. What's most important right now is that you are seeing your doctor and getting all of your questions and concerns addressed by him/her.
The doc is very hometown style. We always end up talking horses and cooking and everything else. I feel very blessed to have him as a doc. He doesn't sugar coat anything. And he goes out of his way to help. When I found out I was pregnant I knew I had to stop taking an rx med. after my first appointment with him he called a few days later to let me know he researched it and found me an alternative. And we are actually going to stay with that alternative even though I'm no longer pregnant. Without something I cannot sleep at night.
He he has also helped tremendously with diet changes that helps with the sleeping and nerves. He is a very compassionate doctor without ever losing his professionalism. |
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 More bootie than waist!
Posts: 18425
Location: Riding Crackhead. | missroselee - 2013-12-02 9:41 AM I think what isn't helping is we both know as soon as we tell his parents they will rage and blame me for everything. I know it shouldn't matter but it's just the last thing I need. I have to take them to dr spots Thursday so hubby agreed to wait until after then to tell them. I know it's wrong to wait but I just cannot be around them if they blame me.
dr appointment went well. Still have to do the series of blood work to be for sure I don't need surgery at all. He was very positive and has a way of always making me feel better. He encouraged us to try again but just wait at least a month for the physical aspect, and as long as we need for the emotional. He said it will still be risky but not to give up.
If your in-laws are capable of that kind of behavior you need to distance yourself from them. I hope to heck they give you nothing but support |
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Damn Yankee
Posts: 12390
Location: Somewhere between raising hell and Amazing Grace |
They will blame me because I chose to keep riding horses, and my doctor encouraged me to ride. They also will blame me because I workout almost everyday And they thought I should quit. I guess I was supposed to sit on the couch all day.
my doctor said the worst thing I could do was quit anything my body was used to. However, the Sunday before this all happened was my last barrel race. I had already made arrangements for someone else to ride the two barrel horses and I was only going to trail ride our old faithful. I was ok riding the first part, and the doc was adamant it was fine. I just not comfortable with continuing it past that.
So it's a free for all for anyone that wants to blame me I guess but so far every single person has been beyond awesome, supportive, and very very caring, it has been a blessing to know people understand and care. I think the feelings of guilt are natural for anyone. I was already preparing to rearrange my whole life for my child, was researching all the best baby stuff, learning tools, etcetc. Shoot I even told my best horse he was going to be my child's horse..........we have tossed around the idea of selling him but chose not to a while back because we know he will be the perfect kids horse if we need him to be........
i cant ant say where we will go from here. We just need time. I need to just wait until I feel normal again, if that's possible. It didn't help it was glucose testing today at the doc. Two women were complaining about the nasty taste......I could only cry a silent tear wishing they knew how lucky they were...... |
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Damn Yankee
Posts: 12390
Location: Somewhere between raising hell and Amazing Grace | CYA Ranch - 2013-12-02 11:32 AM missroselee - 2013-12-02 9:41 AM I think what isn't helping is we both know as soon as we tell his parents they will rage and blame me for everything. I know it shouldn't matter but it's just the last thing I need. I have to take them to dr spots Thursday so hubby agreed to wait until after then to tell them. I know it's wrong to wait but I just cannot be around them if they blame me.
dr appointment went well. Still have to do the series of blood work to be for sure I don't need surgery at all. He was very positive and has a way of always making me feel better. He encouraged us to try again but just wait at least a month for the physical aspect, and as long as we need for the emotional. He said it will still be risky but not to give up. If your in-laws are capable of that kind of behavior you need to distance yourself from them. I hope to heck they give you nothing but support
They are. They were both living with us when we found out. I kicked them out after a big blow up fight over how this was THEIR grandchild and that I was a horrible mother and wife because I would not sell my horses for the sake of the baby. It was horrible. |
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More bootie than waist!
Posts: 18425
Location: Riding Crackhead. | missroselee - 2013-12-02 10:45 AM CYA Ranch - 2013-12-02 11:32 AM missroselee - 2013-12-02 9:41 AM I think what isn't helping is we both know as soon as we tell his parents they will rage and blame me for everything. I know it shouldn't matter but it's just the last thing I need. I have to take them to dr spots Thursday so hubby agreed to wait until after then to tell them. I know it's wrong to wait but I just cannot be around them if they blame me.
dr appointment went well. Still have to do the series of blood work to be for sure I don't need surgery at all. He was very positive and has a way of always making me feel better. He encouraged us to try again but just wait at least a month for the physical aspect, and as long as we need for the emotional. He said it will still be risky but not to give up. If your in-laws are capable of that kind of behavior you need to distance yourself from them. I hope to heck they give you nothing but support
OMGosh. I'm so sorry your dealing with a multitude of bad fortune and nastiness. Be strong and remember, this isn't your fault in anything you did or didn't do. Your hubby sounds like a wonderful man and I'm sure he'll handle his parents. |
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Hungarian Midget Woman
Location: Midwest | missroselee - 2013-12-02 10:45 AM CYA Ranch - 2013-12-02 11:32 AM missroselee - 2013-12-02 9:41 AM I think what isn't helping is we both know as soon as we tell his parents they will rage and blame me for everything. I know it shouldn't matter but it's just the last thing I need. I have to take them to dr spots Thursday so hubby agreed to wait until after then to tell them. I know it's wrong to wait but I just cannot be around them if they blame me.
dr appointment went well. Still have to do the series of blood work to be for sure I don't need surgery at all. He was very positive and has a way of always making me feel better. He encouraged us to try again but just wait at least a month for the physical aspect, and as long as we need for the emotional. He said it will still be risky but not to give up. If your in-laws are capable of that kind of behavior you need to distance yourself from them. I hope to heck they give you nothing but support
I am so sorry! Feelings of guilt are very natural.... even though that is rarely the case (that anything "caused" this that was under our control).
Try not to let them bother you....I know I would be keeping my distance... good grief. They do not sound very compassionate. |
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Industrial Srength Barrel Racer
Posts: 7264
| missroselee - 2013-12-02 7:18 AM I just wanted to add that I wish every woman on here could be married to a man like my husband. Every woman deserves to be loved like this.......
This is probably the sweetest thing I have ever read! |
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 Expert
Posts: 3782
Location: Gainesville, TX | So so sorry for your loss. Prayers for you. |
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 Ima Fickle Fan
Posts: 3547
Location: Texas | missroselee - 2013-12-02 10:42 AM
They will blame me because I chose to keep riding horses, and my doctor encouraged me to ride. They also will blame me because I workout almost everyday And they thought I should quit. I guess I was supposed to sit on the couch all day.
my doctor said the worst thing I could do was quit anything my body was used to. However, the Sunday before this all happened was my last barrel race. I had already made arrangements for someone else to ride the two barrel horses and I was only going to trail ride our old faithful. I was ok riding the first part, and the doc was adamant it was fine. I just not comfortable with continuing it past that.
So it's a free for all for anyone that wants to blame me I guess but so far every single person has been beyond awesome, supportive, and very very caring, it has been a blessing to know people understand and care. I think the feelings of guilt are natural for anyone. I was already preparing to rearrange my whole life for my child, was researching all the best baby stuff, learning tools, etcetc. Shoot I even told my best horse he was going to be my child's horse..........we have tossed around the idea of selling him but chose not to a while back because we know he will be the perfect kids horse if we need him to be........
i cant ant say where we will go from here. We just need time. I need to just wait until I feel normal again, if that's possible. It didn't help it was glucose testing today at the doc. Two women were complaining about the nasty taste......I could only cry a silent tear wishing they knew how lucky they were......
Your doctor is right. Exercise during pregnancy, even horseback riding, should be done. There aretons of benefits to exercising during pregnancy. Not exercising can create even more problems. And as long as you are riding a safe horse, you can continue to do so until your body says otherwise.
Sounds like your in-laws are ignorant and backward in their thinking. No offense to them. Unless they have a medical degree, they should keep their mouths shut.
And if that is how your in-laws think, try not to place much value on their opinion. Hard to do, but they sound highly judgmental of someone who is a very caring and loving person. They should be grateful their son chose you instead of judging you in a negative manner.
ETA - News article refuting the be lazy mindset during pregnancy --> http://news.yahoo.com/yes-exercise-during-pregnancy-140428483.html
Edited by aggiejudger 2013-12-02 11:36 AM
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Damn Yankee
Posts: 12390
Location: Somewhere between raising hell and Amazing Grace | Thank you guys again for all the support. Hubby actually managed to get today off work. Right now he's the only Platoon SGT they have, so getting a day off is nearly impossible, and he is really the only one that knows what needs done. I told him it was ok if he couldn't. He went in his usual time (gets up at 330am) and was back home around 6. The Commander didn't even let him finish, as soon as he told him he sent him home for the whole day. We are just going to spend the day together.
Doc said the headache was a combination of the miscarraige/blood loss, and dehydration and lack of eating. He made hubby take me for breakfast and gave me the go head to take OTC meds. He offered an Rx for codiene but I still have the script I use for my spine and it was from back in June so still good to use. I do feel much better now that I've eaten more and rested. |
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 Expert
Posts: 1218
Location: Great NW | Many hugs to you! take the time you need to grieve your loss - |
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Expert
Posts: 1218
Location: Great NW | Do not blame yourself - Hopefully tests will reveal the reason why. For your sake if the in Laws start in - get in your car and drive away. if they can not be nice they need not be part of your private life. |
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