|
|
 A Somebody to Everybody
Posts: 41354
   
Location: Under The Big Sky Of Texas | FlyingJT - 2014-08-07 12:02 PM cheryl makofka - 2014-08-07 11:24 AM How is today going? Well, I'm alive! He hasn't said anything to me but I still notice him walking by my office and staring. I didn't say anything to my boss but I did over hear him ask why he was always hanging around. I think maybe he notices. It's lunch time and he left so I'm going to make my run to the restroom and kitchen and make it back to my office before he gets back.
Why wont you tell your boss whats going on? Why are you letting him control what you do around the office, you need help with this and we are not there to do it for you so you really need to stand up to this and get it fixed now befor it really gets outa hand.  | |
| | |
 Midget Lover
 
Location: Kentucky | You need to go to HR. Now. | |
| | |
 Cute Little Imp
Posts: 2747
Location: N Texas | cheryl makofka - 2014-08-07 12:12 PM
FlyingJT - 2014-08-07 12:02 PM
cheryl makofka - 2014-08-07 11:24 AM
How is today going?
Well, I'm alive! He hasn't said anything to me but I still notice him walking by my office and staring. I didn't say anything to my boss but I did over hear him ask why he was always hanging around. I think maybe he notices. It's lunch time and he left so I'm going to make my run to the restroom and kitchen and make it back to my office before he gets back.
Go tell your boss!
You should not be working in fear of any sort even if it is awkwardness.
As I said before go tell your boss as if he is asking stop the rumours that may begin before they begin.
Glad you are alive.
Yes! Now is the perfect time for you to tell your boss! Say "hey, I overheard you ask Creepy Guy why he hangs out, and it's because he's in love with me"...or however you want to put it. At least you know he'll believe you, since he's noticed it himself.
If you have to sneak around and plan things around when Creepy Guy will be there, you're just going to cause yourself anxiety. You should NOT have to do that at your place of work. | |
| | |
Location: Kentucky | and if the "face" doesn't work work try this :)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xplUpR3m0io
I had a creepy stalker once, I was assistant director at a daycare and a dad fell in love with me! I was 20 and he was 40+ something. He told me he wanted me to have his babies and blah blah. I would open at 6 am by my self every morning and he would be outside with his twin girls waiting on me, drop them off and sit in the lobby/front room for like an hour! trying to talk to me and tell me all about his feelings. He ex wife thought I was trying to take over her family and kids bc he told her about how he had fallen in love me with and wanted me to raise their daughters ( he had custody) I had to get a protection order on her bc of the threats and actions she was doing to make my life hell. I told him I was in no way attracted to him and in a serious relationship. Finally had to be rude and the director have a talk with him and it mostly stopped and then I quit the job. Fast forward 4 years later, no contact with him or her don't even see them. Thank goodness, and shocking because we live in a county with only two stop lights. My husband and I buy a farm close on the house start to move in and find out she is dating my neighbor  . Doesn't start off well but after almost living here two years later it has calmed down and things are "OK" but he has now seen me outside when he comes to pick up the kids, and knows where I live. At first I was a little uneasy about it all but I have learned it will all be alright and if worst comes to worst I will just shoot  . Stay safe and good luck
Edited by pinky pie 2014-08-07 1:03 PM
| |
| | |
 Expert
Posts: 1857
| Southtxponygirl - 2014-08-07 12:45 PM
FlyingJT - 2014-08-07 12:02 PM cheryl makofka - 2014-08-07 11:24 AM How is today going? Well, I'm alive! He hasn't said anything to me but I still notice him walking by my office and staring. I didn't say anything to my boss but I did over hear him ask why he was always hanging around. I think maybe he notices. It's lunch time and he left so I'm going to make my run to the restroom and kitchen and make it back to my office before he gets back.
because I don't want him to know that I turned him in.... I'm a little worried by his reaction. And HR, again me and my boss share the responsibilities. we are a separate entity of the college however we operate within the college and with the college name. so we don't use the colleges HR. Very hard to explain. I am going to ask him to say something to him but I just need time to think of what. He will know I turned him in and my bosses don't fire people very easily, they put up with a lot at this place. Someone got caught drinking on the job and wasn't even fired! | |
| | |
 Hugs to You
Posts: 7551
Location: In The Land of Cotton | I am the HR person at our company.
Tell your supervisor and/or HR now. This is the "now" world we live in. People do kill people at work, not just on TV. | |
| | |
I Really Love Jeans
Posts: 3173
Location: North Dakota | Tell your husband then tell your boss! People like him usually flip out and get really mad and try to make the person they are after look bad. He will go to your boss or other co-workers in the future with nasty comments about you once he really gets the fact that you are not nterested. Thats how people like him work! He will get mad almost as if you were dating so nip it in the butt before he gets even more stupid! | |
| | |
 Expert
Posts: 2161
Location: NW. Florida |
The ol scratch and sniff test. | |
| | |
A Somebody to Everybody
Posts: 41354
Location: Under The Big Sky Of Texas | If you can and if hubby can have hubby come by for some lunch dates and let this fool see that you do have a good marriage to a good man, If I could I would come up there and tell this creep to just back off for you... I dont like to beat around the bush, I would love to do this  | |
| | |
  Whack and Roll
Posts: 6342
Location: NE Texas | By you sneaking around and hiding and waiting til he's gone, he's getting a big part of the high he's looking for in controlling you. You're giving him the fix he needs even if it's small. What you need to do is go to your boss or supervisor....if you don't have one there, go the whomever you report to and let them know the situation. Then you stand proud, don't act intimidated, and go and do whatever you want to whenever you want to within the office. You are allowing him to control you and how your day is going and that is exactly what he is wanting. Good luck! Time to stand tall, get tough, and show that poker face! | |
| | |
Cute Little Imp
Posts: 2747
Location: N Texas | LRQHS - 2014-08-06 3:42 PM
How old is he? Is he cute?
http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=f76_1323277426&comments=1
| |
| | |
Expert
Posts: 1599
| FlyingJT - 2014-08-07 1:03 PM Southtxponygirl - 2014-08-07 12:45 PM FlyingJT - 2014-08-07 12:02 PM cheryl makofka - 2014-08-07 11:24 AM How is today going? Well, I'm alive! He hasn't said anything to me but I still notice him walking by my office and staring. I didn't say anything to my boss but I did over hear him ask why he was always hanging around. I think maybe he notices. It's lunch time and he left so I'm going to make my run to the restroom and kitchen and make it back to my office before he gets back. because I don't want him to know that I turned him in.... I'm a little worried by his reaction. And HR, again me and my boss share the responsibilities. we are a separate entity of the college however we operate within the college and with the college name. so we don't use the colleges HR. Very hard to explain. I am going to ask him to say something to him but I just need time to think of what. He will know I turned him in and my bosses don't fire people very easily, they put up with a lot at this place. Someone got caught drinking on the job and wasn't even fired!
Honestly, you are really p*ssing me off with your responses....and this one, like the rest of them make absolutely no sense. Like many have said, you work for a college, they are required to implement HR practices...there is an escalation chain that you have previously identified....so use it and be done with this. It's almost as if you are making excuses because you enjoy the attention! Sorry, don't mean to be rude but your safety is nothing to make excuses about!!! | |
| | |
Midget Lover
Location: Kentucky | lopnaround - 2014-08-07 2:21 PM FlyingJT - 2014-08-07 1:03 PM Southtxponygirl - 2014-08-07 12:45 PM FlyingJT - 2014-08-07 12:02 PM cheryl makofka - 2014-08-07 11:24 AM How is today going? Well, I'm alive! He hasn't said anything to me but I still notice him walking by my office and staring. I didn't say anything to my boss but I did over hear him ask why he was always hanging around. I think maybe he notices. It's lunch time and he left so I'm going to make my run to the restroom and kitchen and make it back to my office before he gets back. because I don't want him to know that I turned him in.... I'm a little worried by his reaction. And HR, again me and my boss share the responsibilities. we are a separate entity of the college however we operate within the college and with the college name. so we don't use the colleges HR. Very hard to explain. I am going to ask him to say something to him but I just need time to think of what. He will know I turned him in and my bosses don't fire people very easily, they put up with a lot at this place. Someone got caught drinking on the job and wasn't even fired!
I agree. | |
| | |
Cute Little Imp
Posts: 2747
Location: N Texas | lopnaround - 2014-08-07 1:21 PM
FlyingJT - 2014-08-07 1:03 PM Southtxponygirl - 2014-08-07 12:45 PM FlyingJT - 2014-08-07 12:02 PM cheryl makofka - 2014-08-07 11:24 AM How is today going? Well, I'm alive! He hasn't said anything to me but I still notice him walking by my office and staring. I didn't say anything to my boss but I did over hear him ask why he was always hanging around. I think maybe he notices. It's lunch time and he left so I'm going to make my run to the restroom and kitchen and make it back to my office before he gets back. because I don't want him to know that I turned him in.... I'm a little worried by his reaction. And HR, again me and my boss share the responsibilities. we are a separate entity of the college however we operate within the college and with the college name. so we don't use the colleges HR. Very hard to explain. I am going to ask him to say something to him but I just need time to think of what. He will know I turned him in and my bosses don't fire people very easily, they put up with a lot at this place. Someone got caught drinking on the job and wasn't even fired!
I know it's hard, but you HAVE to get over the mindset of "I would rather go out of my way and be uncomfortable than to hurt his feelings." What's more important--your peace of mind, safety, and well-being or keeping his feelings from being hurt?
You are NOT being mean by standing up for yourself!! | |
| | |
Elite Veteran
Posts: 1079
| Yup. I agree too. You shouldn't feel "bad" or guilty what so ever for turning this douchebag in. HE put you in this spot, not only by making a single comment but continued f'd up comments. He should be let go. If he isn't, I dont know if I could continue to work there. That's how bad this all is. | |
| | |
Expert
Posts: 1857
| lopnaround - 2014-08-07 1:21 PM FlyingJT - 2014-08-07 1:03 PM Southtxponygirl - 2014-08-07 12:45 PM FlyingJT - 2014-08-07 12:02 PM cheryl makofka - 2014-08-07 11:24 AM How is today going? Well, I'm alive! He hasn't said anything to me but I still notice him walking by my office and staring. I didn't say anything to my boss but I did over hear him ask why he was always hanging around. I think maybe he notices. It's lunch time and he left so I'm going to make my run to the restroom and kitchen and make it back to my office before he gets back. because I don't want him to know that I turned him in.... I'm a little worried by his reaction. And HR, again me and my boss share the responsibilities. we are a separate entity of the college however we operate within the college and with the college name. so we don't use the colleges HR. Very hard to explain. I am going to ask him to say something to him but I just need time to think of what. He will know I turned him in and my bosses don't fire people very easily, they put up with a lot at this place. Someone got caught drinking on the job and wasn't even fired!
yes you do! and thanks for your comment, you're quite helpful! | |
| | |
 Fact Checker
Posts: 16575
Location: Displaced Iowegian | lopnaround - 2014-08-07 1:21 PM FlyingJT - 2014-08-07 1:03 PM Southtxponygirl - 2014-08-07 12:45 PM FlyingJT - 2014-08-07 12:02 PM cheryl makofka - 2014-08-07 11:24 AM How is today going? Well, I'm alive! He hasn't said anything to me but I still notice him walking by my office and staring. I didn't say anything to my boss but I did over hear him ask why he was always hanging around. I think maybe he notices. It's lunch time and he left so I'm going to make my run to the restroom and kitchen and make it back to my office before he gets back. because I don't want him to know that I turned him in.... I'm a little worried by his reaction. And HR, again me and my boss share the responsibilities. we are a separate entity of the college however we operate within the college and with the college name. so we don't use the colleges HR. Very hard to explain. I am going to ask him to say something to him but I just need time to think of what. He will know I turned him in and my bosses don't fire people very easily, they put up with a lot at this place. Someone got caught drinking on the job and wasn't even fired!
^^^ THIS......YOU keep making excuses......Your boss HAS already noticed...NOW is the time to say that he has been bothering you.....what else do you want? | |
| | |
 Owner of a ratting catting machine
Posts: 2258
| I work in the oilfield. I have had a bit of this go on before I knew what the hell I was looking at. Men with a few screws loose can act an awful lot like dogs. You pet them once and feed them a scrap from your sandwhich, then they won't leave, then they get pissed and bite when you kick them out of the way.
In future, be the lady that is polite, but nothing more. No more smiling and nodding, putting up with long visits. You're a professional with a husband, not some gimme that acts naive enjoying the attention. If you do enjoy the attention, you need to get a grip.
This is your mess, you allowed it to happen. Now you fix it. Yes, the man was in the wrong, absolutely. But you have allowed yourself to be the victim, and it's time for that to go away, whatever your reasons are.
1. You need to confirm this to your boss. Sounds like boss already knows. Boss just probably waiting to see what you'll do to get yourself out of the situation. Bosses always know more than you think. That's their job. I know, I just had a female employee soaking up attention, then wig out over the same expression. Your situation and explanations are almost carbon copy. Stop being naive, this happens all the time. Even if you yourself couldn't see it happening, I guarantee everyone else did, and has their own, probably jaded, opinions about the situation.
2. You need to tell your husband. You need to tell your husband. What on Earth do you have a husband for, girlie, if not protection and partnership against external baddies?? You need to tell your husband. You are his wife. My husband would be in destroy mode by now, and I'd have the documentation to back him in court.
3. If you have not already done so, you need to put your side of the story and any dates, specific occurrences, etc into writing. Print it out and keep it on hand. Print out another copy for your boss.
3.5 You need to make sure somebody walks with you to your car after work. No excuses.
4. The next time dude rolls up in your office, you better be recording the entire conversation, the one that starts with you stating, "I am not interested in conversing with you. I am not in love with you. I do not like you. Leave me alone, walk a big circle around me from now on. Authorities and my husband have been notified of your actions towards me, which I do not like, nor encourage. Please leave and never speak to me again."
5. If this doesn't help, you better go to the police. My husband being himself, the cops would get called all right, but it would be after hours, off property, and it would be the Dude making the call.
You got yourself into this mess, whatever the naïveté or not. Time to deal and face the music. | |
| | |
Elite Veteran
Posts: 1079
| classicpotatochip - 2014-08-07 3:22 PM I work in the oilfield. I have had a bit of this go on before I knew what the hell I was looking at. Men with a few screws loose can act an awful lot like dogs. You pet them once and feed them a scrap from your sandwhich, then they won't leave, then they get pissed and bite when you kick them out of the way. In future, be the lady that is polite, but nothing more. No more smiling and nodding, putting up with long visits. You're a professional with a husband, not some gimme that acts naive enjoying the attention. If you do enjoy the attention, you need to get a grip. This is your mess, you allowed it to happen. Now you fix it. Yes, the man was in the wrong, absolutely. But you have allowed yourself to be the victim, and it's time for that to go away, whatever your reasons are. 1. You need to confirm this to your boss. Sounds like boss already knows. Boss just probably waiting to see what you'll do to get yourself out of the situation. Bosses always know more than you think. That's their job. I know, I just had a female employee soaking up attention, then wig out over the same expression. Your situation and explanations are almost carbon copy. Stop being naive, this happens all the time. Even if you yourself couldn't see it happening, I guarantee everyone else did, and has their own, probably jaded, opinions about the situation. 2. You need to tell your husband. You need to tell your husband. What on Earth do you have a husband for, girlie, if not protection and partnership against external baddies?? You need to tell your husband. You are his wife. My husband would be in destroy mode by now, and I'd have the documentation to back him in court. 3. If you have not already done so, you need to put your side of the story and any dates, specific occurrences, etc into writing. Print it out and keep it on hand. Print out another copy for your boss. 3.5 You need to make sure somebody walks with you to your car after work. No excuses. 4. The next time dude rolls up in your office, you better be recording the entire conversation, the one that starts with you stating, "I am not interested in conversing with you. I am not in love with you. I do not like you. Leave me alone, walk a big circle around me from now on. Authorities and my husband have been notified of your actions towards me, which I do not like, nor encourage. Please leave and never speak to me again." 5. If this doesn't help, you better go to the police. My husband being himself, the cops would get called all right, but it would be after hours, off property, and it would be the Dude making the call. You got yourself into this mess, whatever the naïveté or not. Time to deal and face the music.
   | |
| | |
 I'm Cooler Offline
Posts: 6387
Location: Pacific Northwest | I know a girl that was raped by a stalker when she was in high school. Her friends usually took turns following her home from work, and something happened one night and no one was able to do it. The guy shoved her in the car, tied her up, and raped her right outside her house.
Personally, I have no problems not being nice. People annoy me anyways, the block feature on FB is like my favorite thing ever and I have no issue with telling someone where they can shove it right to their face. There are some friggin stupid people out there I've discovered. I don't want to limit the stupidity to just men, but I've had two boys repeatedly ask me on dates over FB even after I told them I had a GIRLfriend. I blocked them on everything and was a total b-tch when I saw them anywhere in person. | |
| |
| |
Folks on-line