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 Owner of a ratting catting machine
Posts: 2258
  
| I got engaged when I was 18 and nearly got married. Thank goodness we moved in together before we did the deed! We broke it off not much longer later. I got married to a real man this summer, I'm 29, after dating and living with a few whoppers.
My thoughts on marriage is that you better wait until you are the person you want to be, with your life goals clearly before you and at least started. I also feel that you better live with that man for at least a year and give the 'playing house' thing time to wear off. Because when it does, and you find out you're with a complete idiot with no ambition, well, that's a huge waste of a sacred marriage.
Marriage should be taken seriously, not with the attitude of, "I can always get a divorce."
If the persons getting hitched can't pull their responsibilities equally, whether financial, physical, emotional, habitat duties, etc to the satisfaction of the other person, the marriage is doomed in today's society.
I don't know many 18 ye olds that can think their way out of a paper bag (not being ugly, I was the smartest stupid 18 yr old you've ever known), much less know how to satisfy a husband and know how to work as a partner in a strong union.
Life is hard, and expensive, and very taxing, and everyone deserves a partner that will truly pull their own weight, male or female. Sometimes breaking up and divorcing is unavoidable, but I truly wish people wouldn't get married if it's inevitable. | |
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 Expert
Posts: 1295
Location: Chehalis, Washington | My husband and I have been married sense we were both 18. We dated 2 months ish before marriage. Knew each other a year before dating. We are both 27 now and have stayed married. Has it been easy? NO, lol But what marriage is? If there happy and its what they want and they have lasted this long, heck its up to them. My family was fully against me getting married so young. But it was my choice and Im happy with my choice still. | |
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 Always Off Topic
Posts: 6382
Location: ND | age is irrelevant.... | |
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Elite Veteran
Posts: 788
| I really think age doesn't matter. More than anything talking about what they want in life is way more important. Especially rodeoing they really need to talk about their goals and what they plan to do. Also we talked about simple things that we would do after we got married like how we would split the chores since there arent many house wives anymore and it helped prevent alot of nit picky fights. | |
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 Elite Veteran
Posts: 902
Location: Qld Australia | As someone else said, just because they are engaged does not mean they are getting married next week. You mention that they rodeo together and are saving themselves for marriage. That shows a lot of commitment right there. They have taken this path together despite many peer pressure issues I am sure.
If they turn around and say that they are getting married in 2 months, then I would encourage them to wait. Give the whole engagement time to settle and not be a mad rush of engagement, marriage, new house and possibly even baby in an extremely short period of time. This I believe would put massive amounts of pressure on both these young people.
Congratulations to them both, I wish them a long, wonderful life together. | |
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 Thread Killer
Posts: 7545
| I don't think it matters too much.
One of my childhood friends got married at 19 or 20, had a daughter right away, and is doing very well. ;) | |
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 Purveyor of unconventional wisdom
Posts: 17112
Location: CA | They are both adults and in love. It will play out how it plays out. I met my ex at 30, married at 32, stayed married for 21 years and it still didn't work out. I do wish them the best how ever it goes. :) | |
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| The more I listen to people talk about their relationships the more I realize it has little to do with age, social status, education, etc. than it does the unrelenting desire to make things work. Everyone has fights and disagreements. Everyone gets hurt and does/says things that hurt others. But at the end of the day it's the people that are committed to make it work that have the really healthy, long relationships. They are the one's that are willing to let go of their ego and say I'm sorry, to do what it takes to make necessary changes, and to not just give up when things get difficult. If they are the type that can do that then they will be just fine.
Edited by AnotherRound 2013-12-18 9:07 PM
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Veteran
Posts: 165
| I think if they were raised with family values by parents who have stuck together through thick and thin, they might be okay. The thing with 18 year olds is that you really can't talk them out of anything they decide to do. They want to be grown up and make their own decisions and all you can do is support them and hope they don't fall on their faces. While it is commendable that they are saving themselves, I think it's also helpful to live together, whether in the same bed or not and work out the kinks of everyday life, chores, bill paying, goal setting... before making the commitment of marriage. | |
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