Rolling J - 2014-07-26 11:02 PM

You are so not alone in your fears and struggles. If "we" knew how hard it is to be a parent, there would be a whole lot less sex in the world. LOL!!! My two kids are great in so many ways but when they exploded it is always in front of someone or when I am at my wits end....

Just today at the ball game (my son, who is a good player & gets right in there on plays) was laying on the ground crying for the 2nd time today, I said out loud "Great, here we go again...I am so embarrassed right now." There was lot of people around me but at that very moment, all I could think was "he is such a drama king." As the game progressed, I started to feel really guilty...yes, I know him to be over dramatic at times but most of those people there only saw a young, boy putting his self out there to make plays. He is not getting hurt by watching the ball go by him, he is running, jumping, falling....trying his hardest for a game he loves. I later apologized to the other parents as coming off as the "uncaring mom" but I know he can be a "bit dramatic at times." We then all had a little laugh and everyone told me it "OK" and they fully understood. "Us" parents are usually the ones putting the most pressure on ourselves and our children. After many situations, with both my kids, I maybe focused on the one "negative" aspect of something (although it is rare that I express that to them) while other parents are telling me words of praise about the wonderful job they did. Sometimes it is so much easier to praise "others" children then our own.

My all time favorite parenting frustration is when my husband and I are at our wits end about our children's behavior at home. I have been in tears before, more than once, asking my husband "what am I doing so wrong?"
However, it is extremely rare that my two have ever went some where or done something that others haven't told us that we have two "good" kids and they are welcome back any time. I realize that should be a very, good indicator that my husband and I are doing some thing right in raising them but why doesn't it always feel that way?

OOOHHH, and we now have a teenager in the house this year....she is really a good kid most of the time but I never knew I could go though so many emotions in a matter of seconds. Teenagers are a whole new set of guilt, frustration, agony... that I am just learning about.

One thing that REALLY helps me is prayer and talking to other mothers. So MANY times in talking to that one mom that in "my" eyes appears to have it "so together" is going through the same concerns and problems with her kids as I am. I will never forget about two years ago, I went on a trip with a lady from our church and we roomed together. In one of our evening conversations, I finally broke down and asked her "How do you do it all? You seem so organized and your boys are always so well behaved." Her reaction was priceless....she just started laughing and I had one of the best talks ever with someone. We now say "we are sisters separated at birth" because we have so much in common when it comes to families.

You stated "I feel like I try so hard but just keep failing." That statement a lone tells me that you are a good parent. Parents that DON'T care, could care less if they fail their kids. They are to focused on their selves to care about how their children turn out. Good parents worry OFTEN if they "failing" their children or "helping them." It may not seem like it now but I bet you are putting down a good foundation for your children and they will thank you for it someday. Meanwhile keep the tissues handy because there be a lot of painful' frustrating, regretful moments along the way but hang in there. Remember you are not alone in this!