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 Expert
Posts: 1304
 
| Does anyone else struggle with accepting death? I've gotten a WHOLE lot better and know that God does everything for a reason... but I just heard of the death of someone who was so alive and bubbly, and just the last person on earth you think would go and it has me tore up. It brings back a wave of memories of when my boyfriend's mom died 2 years ago and makes my heart ache for the kids who are just a few years younger than me. Just like Cameron's mom, this mother was so caring and outgoing, and the death was totally unexpected and shocking. We both went through a tough time when between the two of us we lost 5 people from our families in less than a year and to be honest it made death so much realer than it had ever been with me before. I hate that as you grow up you go to more and more funerals... I just can't imagine what this family is going through and it's so weird to think that you've seen someone yesterday or even a few minutes ago and their life can end in an instant. Like I said, my attitude and heart with dealing with this has gotten so much better but this sudden passing has disrupted all these feelings again and it's so tough...please pray for this family and her friends  ...how do you all deal with death? |
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Elite Veteran
Posts: 762
 
Location: NC | I have learned to live life for the present and enjoy it. My father died in front of my mom and I 3 years ago while shoveling snow(had a heart attack, one min fine, the next fell into a snow pile and was gone). Right before that we lost my mom's mother and then we lost my great uncle the next year as well as my dad's mother. Life is to short and you can only keep going forward!
One of the barns up here lost an amazing woman yesterday and again I was reminded how short life really is!!! |
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  Roan Wonder
 
Location: SW MO | If you are of a Christian faith it helps to give you comfort because you know these people have gone to a better place. It is a reward to get to go be with the Lord. My grandmother used to say gathering roses for the Lord. Just like a boutique of roses there are buds, freshly bloomed ones & full bloomed roses. No one wants a rose boutique of old wilted flowers.
If you have seen older people who have to get crippled, live in pain or who can't remember who their loved ones are you will know that there things much worse than dying young.
Yes we miss our loved ones & we need them with us, but we must also try to remember they are now living across the Jordan in a land of Glory & some day we will cross that great river to find them there waiting for us with big smiles & a warm hug |
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 A Somebody to Everybody
Posts: 41354
Location: Under The Big Sky Of Texas | crossspur - 2014-08-15 10:38 AM If you are of a Christian faith it helps to give you comfort because you know these people have gone to a better place. It is a reward to get to go be with the Lord. My grandmother used to say gathering roses for the Lord. Just like a boutique of roses there are buds, freshly bloomed ones & full bloomed roses. No one wants a rose boutique of old wilted flowers. If you have seen older people who have to get crippled, live in pain or who can't remember who their loved ones are you will know that there things much worse than dying young. Yes we miss our loved ones & we need them with us, but we must also try to remember they are now living across the Jordan in a land of Glory & some day we will cross that great river to find them there waiting for us with big smiles & a warm hug
Amen  |
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 Damn Yankee
Posts: 12390
Location: Somewhere between raising hell and Amazing Grace | I used to. Until I had to wake up a judge and a lawyer in the middle of the night to get a power of attorny when my mother was in a car accident. Then less then 12 hours later I had to make the decision to end her life (take her off life support). That will either make or break a person. I made me be more accepting that death is a part of life. It helped me learn to embrace and be grateful for the memories. Our younger english mastiff just died three weeks ago because of one stupid messed up mistake that we can never ever take back. Hubby was way more emotional then me. I miss her like hell. I cried a lil bit. I'm more angry at the mistake made then the death (we forgot to latch a gate and she got hit by a car).
But above everything else I am happy that we got to know her. That we got to spend time with her, and we have memories, stories, photos, videos.
I miss my mother every single day. And I will confess part of the reason I don't really want kids of my own is because she is gone and I don't want to do it without her. But I'm glad she was here for the time she was. |
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Veteran
Posts: 103
| Yes, if you are a Christian, death is a splendid thing. To meet your Saviour face to face, walk with him, talk with him. Can you imagine living in a world where there is no pain, no suffering, no fighting, no hardships of any kind. Where your every need is supplied and your days are spent praising the Lord among people who truly love one another and are kind to each other. Can we even imagine? Try and remember this each time your heart aches that they are gone because they are rejoicing. And keep in mind there is no measure of time in heaven, no darkness. I had a preacher explain it at a funeral recently, that to the person in heaven it will seem as only minutes have gone by before they will turn around and there you'll be. They are not in heaven sad or mourning the fact they won't see us again for a long time, and we shouldn't mourn that way for them either. Just do as the Bible instructs and use what time you have left here, to prepare yourself for that day. Our time here is to be used as a preparation for the next life, the one that really matters. |
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 If it Ain't a Paint it Ain't!
Posts: 8519
Location: Mansfield, Tx | crossspur - 2014-08-15 10:38 AM
If you are of a Christian faith it helps to give you comfort because you know these people have gone to a better place. It is a reward to get to go be with the Lord. My grandmother used to say gathering roses for the Lord. Just like a boutique of roses there are buds, freshly bloomed ones & full bloomed roses. No one wants a rose boutique of old wilted flowers.
If you have seen older people who have to get crippled, live in pain or who can't remember who their loved ones are you will know that there things much worse than dying young.
Yes we miss our loved ones & we need them with us, but we must also try to remember they are now living across the Jordan in a land of Glory & some day we will cross that great river to find them there waiting for us with big smiles & a warm hug
Beautifully said....
Amen....
I myself have a hard time with the thougth of death... then my mom found out she has cancer again..
this time panceratic cancer...no cure.... I find myself leaning on the Lord to get me through this...
I'm thankful for every moment I get to spend with my mom... and I know that I WILL get to see her again pain free. |
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 Firecracker Dog Lover
Posts: 3175
| Death is tough but it is a part of life whether we want to face it or not. So I have learned to cherish every moment, dance in the rain, and live to the fullest I can each and every day. It is so cliche but time really does heal. When I think of loved ones lost I now smile and laugh (okay sometimes I get teary-eyed by they are happy tears) when those memories come to mind. Each day you say to yourself you had the pleasure of having said person or animal in your life - that is the true "gift" of death - because it means you had them there to begin with.
Missroselee - I respect your personal decision to have or not have children. But would your mother not want you to just because she wasn't there? Just a thought. And I am deeply sorry for your loss. |
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Industrial Srength Barrel Racer
Posts: 7268
| missroselee - 2014-08-15 11:28 AM I used to. Until I had to wake up a judge and a lawyer in the middle of the night to get a power of attorny when my mother was in a car accident. Then less then 12 hours later I had to make the decision to end her life (take her off life support). That will either make or break a person. I made me be more accepting that death is a part of life. It helped me learn to embrace and be grateful for the memories. Our younger english mastiff just died three weeks ago because of one stupid messed up mistake that we can never ever take back. Hubby was way more emotional then me. I miss her like hell. I cried a lil bit. I'm more angry at the mistake made then the death (we forgot to latch a gate and she got hit by a car).
But above everything else I am happy that we got to know her. That we got to spend time with her, and we have memories, stories, photos, videos.
I miss my mother every single day. And I will confess part of the reason I don't really want kids of my own is because she is gone and I don't want to do it without her. But I'm glad she was here for the time she was.
This is probably one of the main reasons I never had kids either. I think if I wouldn't have lost my mom to asthma when she was only 49, things would have been a LOT different in my life. |
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 Expert
Posts: 1432
Location: Never in one place long | I think of death very often, I've heard that it's healthy to think of death and that is keeps things in perspective, when we lose sight of the fact that this life perishing day by day and that the real things that matter aren't things that can be scary. That is when you lose morals, values etc. I try not to dwell on it but it's always in the back of my mind. I think about what will happen to my animals, family, how life will be without me, will I go to heaven etc. I think it's all normal but some people think about it more then others. |
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 Expert
Posts: 1229
Location: Royal J Performance Horses, AZ | I used to but I wanted to pursue a veterinary career( which I am). and working with my vet ive seen a lot of horses put down for several reasons. Seeing this so often has made me less sensitive to it. Now of course when my own animals dies or what not there is still grieving but i accept it more easily because ive been around it so much
I consider my self a realist, so I know these things have to happen, its the circle of life and that's how it is.
As things are born and grow, so things also have to die. Some People take this personally as if God is punishing them, He's not it's just how life goes. |
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"Heck's Coming With Me"
Posts: 10797
Location: Kansas | To me it's like the final insult to a life that's rarely if ever easy.
There seems to be no easy way out. My mother, my father, my two brothers all died in a miserable fashion. None of them deserved it.
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I Really Love Jeans
Posts: 3173
Location: North Dakota | My dad died a few months ago just two weeks before my baby was born. My husbands dad has cancer and is not expected to make it more than a week or two. My children will have lost both grandfathers within a few months! |
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 Elite Veteran
Posts: 984
Location: Southwest Minnesota | I used to have a really hard time accepting death, it scared the crap out of me...but, I have worked in a small hospital now for almost 17 years. Although I am not a nurse, I have been present when many people have died. It is not very often the horrible, tragic event I somehow thought it was. Most of the time people die surrounded by loved ones and it is a peaceful transition into the next phase. As a Christian, I believe there is more "life" after death. I lost my sister 3 years ago and although I miss her terribly some days, I am happy for her. Here is a poem that is one of my favorites. I like it because it reminds me that even when loved ones leave us, there are other loved ones who went before waiting for them to arrive. It makes me believe that death is definitely not a lonely experience.
Gone From My Sight - by Henry Van Dyke
I am standing upon the seashore. A ship, at my side,
spreads her white sails to the moving breeze and starts for the blue ocean. She is an object of beauty and strength.
I stand and watch her until, at length, she hangs like a speck of white cloud just where the sea and sky come to mingle with each other.
Then, someone at my side says, "There, she is gone"
Gone where?
Gone from my sight. That is all. She is just as large in mast, hull and spar as she was when she left my side.
And, she is just as able to bear her load of living freight to her destined port.
Her diminished size is in me -- not in her.
And, just at the moment when someone says, "There, she is gone," there are other eyes watching her coming, and other voices ready to take up the glad shout, "Here she comes!" |
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