|
|
 Regular
Posts: 58
Location: Georgia | I realized I was tired of trying so hard to please him and that I never could. We were together for 10 years. It just turned into something that wasn't sustainable. He took an out of town job and I was relieved he was gone and that I didn't have to hear his complaining (with two young kids at home this was a huge relief) I asked him to go to counseling with me and he refused.
edited to add: Yes, this is a sad thread. I do believe in marriage. I would have tried to work it out if he had wanted too, didn't want my kids to go through it, but truly I think we were incompatible. He is happily remarried and so am I. I wish our society as a whole did more to encourage people to look for compatibility rather than just discourage divorce.
Edited by chickenfarmersgirl 2014-10-01 8:43 PM
|
|
| |
|
 Swiffer PIcker Upper
Posts: 4015
Location: Four Corners Colorado | wyoming barrel racer - 2014-09-14 2:31 PM How do you just find a job and a place to live? I have 2 young boys. And put up with a HELL of a lot of $hit because I am just not sure how to make it work. Had my own job, loved it, but it was never enough. If I could just find that job that would cover the cost of living and a fixer upper...
If you live in the middle of no where that is the problem. Wages are low cost of living is high. Getting your self in a better position on the down low is impossible. I had the same issues but I'm still married. Luckily he's changed and it has stuck for a year. To be honest with you I'm still kinda lost. I spent years trying to find a way out and now that he has turned around I'm sorta lost. |
|
| |
|
 Elite Veteran
Posts: 623
 
Location: /ARKANSAS | I was dealing with major issues, skin cancer and 4 bulging discs lumbar area, spinal stenosis that made my legs numb, and I realized he didn't care about me or the ranch. I might have to file bankruptcy I don't know, I am afraid and I am through with him.  |
|
| |
|
Elite Veteran
Posts: 623
Location: /ARKANSAS | Sometimes it is like a light switch, you just know when it is over. I couldn't be like my mother in law who stayed no matter what. I have a lot of respect for women who stay with one man or vice versa. I couldn't cow down. |
|
| |
|
Elite Veteran
Posts: 900
Location: Monticello, AR | No help at home....would not help with bills at home....I had signed for a note at the bank for him to start a business. The ONLY way he got the money, as he had NO CREDIT! And then the cheating and everything that goes with that. I told myself I could put up with whatever, because I had one divorce under my belt and did not want another one....so I kept putting up with his crap. Until the day he wanted the house to be cooler, and turned the thermostat down. I turned it back down....he said to turn it back and I told h when he staters helping pay the bills he could put it wherever he wanted. He said he paid the bills at the shop ( "his" business) , so I told him to freaking go live at the shop. And then told h to pack his s....it and get out. That was 2007 and I wish I had done it YEARS earlier.....very happy with my life and have NO plans to marry again. |
|
| |
|
 Elite Veteran
Posts: 824
Location: Duvall, WA | While this may be a sad thread I agree with the person who said they wished we put more emphasis on marrying the right/compatible person rather than staying married no matter what. If they had, I probably should have known when I cried on my wedding day (not happy tears) that is was not going to be happily ever after. Twenty-two years and three kids later my horse fell on me on a trail ride and broke my leg two years ago in June. I had to get back on and ride two miles home, a nice couple helped me and I used their phone to call ahead and give hubby a heads up. Still wouldn't get off the couch, the other people had to help me unsaddle. Finally he did take me to the hospital, got home and he made dinner for the kids. Not me. I figured if I had to do it all myself with a broken leg I was better off alone.
I have since met and married a wonderful man who shows Labradors with me. We are best friends and constant companions, and it is such a joy having a good relationship I can't believe I lived my life like I did, with someone for whom I had zero respect. I wish more women had the strength to leave, I know it took me way too long. Another clue for me is when he was out of town I often wondered--why do I feel so different? I realized it was because I wasn't constantly annoyed. Having that weight off my shoulders may seem petty but it was huge. Now I can't wait for my man to come home.
And now, after two years, I am back on BHW. :)
Edited by NipntuckLR 2014-10-01 10:07 PM
|
|
| |
|
 Expert
Posts: 1526
Location: Texas | Sometimes you grow apart and it just isn't working! I'm a firm believer in if it's falling apart let it bc if it's meant to be it will fall together! I am divorced and it was the single hardest thing I have ever been thru in my life. My husband did cheat so in my mind I left bc of his blatant disregard for protecting my LIFE. I could not stay with someone that was so careless with my LIFE. It was very hard and it is extremely difficult! Now looking back I was an idiot! I am a million times happier! I am where I am meant to be! I will not sugar coat it though you have to be tough! |
|
| |
|
 Bulls Eye
Posts: 6443
Location: Oklahoma | When I realized that on the day my c-section was scheduled and he wanted to sleep in, leaving me to feed 12 horses. Also he would say he was "cleaning" the barn and I'd go to feed in the morning and there was an empty 24 pack of beer hidden around the hayloft. Then there was the DUI's and the last straw was when he had a hit and run while drunk and called me to pick him up. I didn't know what was going on so I picked him up. When I told him I was taking him to the cops, he grabbed me by the throat with our daughter in the back seat and tried to make me crash my truck. I filed for an emergency protective order and divorce the next day. Our divorce took longer to finalize than we were married. The warning signs of abuse were there and I thank god every day I was able to walk away. He now is married to a "girl" who is MUCH younger than him and they are having baby number 2. Meanwhile he has my daughter and another kid he had while we were married (found out he'd cheated multiple times) and he cannot support them, but he won't sign his rights over.
I remarried almost a year and a half ago and he is my best friend. I was gun shy, and I still have some things I'm working on letting go of, but he loves me and my daughter and my insecuritites.
|
|
| |
Folks on-line