|
|
  Warmblood with Wings
Posts: 27846
    
Location: Florida.. | be amicable but dont let her have everything.. dont move out, let her file, and see if she is willing to let you buy her half out .. usually the judge will allow joint custody.. half half.. so no child support but wife can say you provide childs insurance , drs, life insurance on yourself to daughter, and dental etc.. sometimes it works out if wife isnt nasty.. i think men get the raw end of deal in these situations "Usually" but seems lately judges have been more fair.. if you have a great attorney and remain calm ..try to work together with a mediator first.. |
|
| |
|
 Shoot Yeah
Posts: 4273
Location: Where you need a paddle... Oregon! | I haven't read all the responses. This is when I wish I had a computer and not just my phone to read and type on. I'm going thru a divorce right now. My husband wanted to handle our divorce ourselves, and because I had a lot of guilt being the person who wants out of the marriage, I initially thought that would be fine. But then he got a girlfriend and his barely tolerable controlling personality became intolerable. He has exposed our 12 year old son to her, her family, overnight visits, etc. without talking to me beforehand. When I found out and asked he just accused me of being controlling. Even after our kids told me they weren't ready to be around her. I've received harassing texts from her and his mother. He plans that I will sign papers and just leave. Based on that, and that he has completely disrespected me as the mother to our children, I hired an attorney. I had to sell jewelry and get cash from my parents, but it's the only way I can protect myself. I say, get an attorney and let them handle it for you. Whatever you decide, I've learned it's a very personal situation and everyone's walk us different. Surround yourself with people who support your journey. Good luck. |
|
| |
|
 Sock eating dog owner
Posts: 4557
Location: Where the pavement ends and the West begins Utah | Talk to her about it. I agree with you . It would be a win win if you could sell the house and split the difference. If both of you can agree before getting a lawyer you can part as experienced friends. It gets tough and hard once the court becomes involved they'll tell you I can get it all for you I never lost a case with so and so. I just saying save the heart ache and your wallet. There are no winners. Yes mine was ugly which is why I refuse to marry again. Believe it or not once you spend the next 5 years trying to settle everything. $20,000 in your pocket is a whole lot cheaper and less frustrating. |
|
| |
|
Veteran
Posts: 165
| strawfly special - 2015-01-02 10:06 AM
Thanks everyone, I'm not that worried about me. I just don't want my daughter to loose in this deal. Have to sell her horses, trailer, truck, I bought them for her do when she goes to college rodeo
Not sure what a judge would say about the truck and trailer etc. considering that she doesn't go to college for another 2 years, but her horses, saddles, equipment... are her belongings and shouldn't be included in your assets as a couple. |
|
| |
|
Tried and True
Posts: 21185
Location: Where I am happiest | Glittergirl - 2015-01-03 12:39 AM strawfly special - 2015-01-02 10:06 AM Thanks everyone, I'm not that worried about me. I just don't want my daughter to loose in this deal. Have to sell her horses, trailer, truck, I bought them for her do when she goes to college rodeo Not sure what a judge would say about the truck and trailer etc. considering that she doesn't go to college for another 2 years, but her horses, saddles, equipment... are her belongings and shouldn't be included in your assets as a couple.
Dont be to sure about that. It would depend on who's name is on those titles, papers, and where the money came from and how nasty/petty the ex is. When I went through my divorce my ex tried to attach the kids horses as community property. He even went so far as to try to attach the saddles my daughter had won as community property "Because of the money spent winning those saddles.". Thank God I got a good attorney right off the bat to protect my kids interests.The saving grace on those horses is my parents bought my sons rope horse for him, and my daughters horse was paid for out of her own personal account we had set up for her when she was 1. You would be amazed what some do. |
|
| |
|
 Extreme Veteran
Posts: 596
| Thanks everyone for all the advice. I'm going to have time today to look back and read again while not at work. |
|
| |
|
| 1. Get an attorney even if you don't file right away. Get advice on protecting what you are entitled to in case she decides to clean you out or run up credit cards just before she files. 2. Most people assume the first to file is the injured party. Less stigma attached. 3. No matter how agreeable she seems that can change in a heartbeat. After a bit people seem to get angry and go for blood. 4. If you can mend this then do so. If not then move on and get on with your life. Good luck to you and your daughter.
|
|
| |
|
 Elite Veteran
Posts: 927
Location: Iowa | keep your guard up and talk to an atty. Think about what you really want and what isn't worth fighting about and letting the lawyers eat up more money. There will be some dark days but there is light at the end of the tunnel. I believe in karma. |
|
| |
|
 Elite Veteran
Posts: 920
| I know some people with horses going through a divorce sell them to a trusting amily member or friend and then buy back when it's over. Cheaply...like for nothing |
|
| |
|
 Googly Goo
Posts: 7053
| shubug007 - 2015-01-04 4:33 PM I know some people with horses going through a divorce sell them to a trusting amily member or friend and then buy back when it's over. Cheaply...like for nothing
I know people that tried to hide or misrepresent assets in court and got slammed when it was discovered. |
|
| |
|
Extreme Veteran
Posts: 596
| The horses are in my daughters name at AQHA so I think horses will be ok. She has a new truck in her name she pays for and a camper in her name. So I can let her have her truck and camper and I will keep my truck and LQ for my daughter, then sell house and split money. |
|
| |
|
 Namesless in BHW
Posts: 10368
Location: At the race track with Ah Dee Ohs | strawfly special - 2015-01-04 5:39 PM The horses are in my daughters name at AQHA so I think horses will be ok. She has a new truck in her name she pays for and a camper in her name. So I can let her have her truck and camper and I will keep my truck and LQ for my daughter, then sell house and split money.
Sounds like your on the right track. |
|
| |
|
Elite Veteran
Posts: 927
Location: Iowa | she could make you keep paying for the house if she has physical care custody of the girls. Prayers be with you. |
|
| |
|
 Reaching for the stars....
Posts: 12708
| One very small trinket of info - a horse is both an asset and liability. I can't remember if it's one or two years that the liability amount (i.e., expenses to care for each horses) is deducted from the value of each horse. |
|
| |
|
 Elite Veteran
Posts: 1182
Location: Do I hear Banjos? |
Just remember...like it or not...Your wife has shown you in the past that she CANNOT be trusted. So when she tells you anything about how "fair" she wants this to be etc...smile and nod...but get that attorney. Her idea of "Fair" may be to take everything and let you start over with nothing. For the sake of the daughter...protect yourself and her future by getting someone skilled on your side.
The very fact that she is telling your daughter of her plans...and then asking HER to keep it secret. That's despicable. It's emotional blackmail. |
|
| |
Folks on-line