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 Expert
Posts: 1210
 
Location: Kansas | What is the biggest difference in age of someone you dated and yourself, and how did it work out? | |
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What Name?
Posts: 1994
 
| 8 years seems to be my max. I want to have personal connection of childhood memories, in the same generation frame. To me, things just get awkward after a certain point.
And IMO if it even bothers you a little bit. Generally it will bother you worse later, and that goes for everything. It's okay to get to know someone, and make a decision. But I've found for myself that if it's something I'm "iffy" about before we start seriously dating, it'll be something that seriously bothers me later. | |
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 Party Girl
Posts: 12293
 
Location: Buffalo, Wyoming | My SO and I are 11 years apart. We have been together for 6 years and have never had any issues with our age. I act more mature for my age and of course most men are a little immature.... | |
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The Resident Destroyer of Liberal Logic
Location: PNW | Almost an 8 year difference, we've been married for 4 years and have two babies - still going strong. Age is not an issue as long you are in the same place in life. | |
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 Owner of a ratting catting machine
Posts: 2258
| My husband is 10 years older than I am. He's wonderful. | |
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Expert
Posts: 1210
Location: Kansas | I'm assuming in your situations, the man is older? | |
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Party Girl
Posts: 12293
Location: Buffalo, Wyoming | HarlanLivesOn - 2015-03-31 2:46 PM I'm assuming in your situations, the man is older?
Yes! | |
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What Name?
Posts: 1994
| In mine yes, but then, I've never been able to tolerate younger men in a dating mind-set | |
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Married to a Louie Lover
Posts: 3303
| I've dated both older and younger men.
I think it depends on where the age difference is in life vs the numbers, and of course the individuals.
There is a much bigger difference in 10 years between 20 and 30 vs 30 and 40, in my opinion in most cases. And the same with 20 and 25 vs 30 and 35. Heck, there's a few subsets where just a couple years can make a big difference.
In my experience the age difference alone didn't kill the relationship with the older man - the fact that he was an over bearing boarderline abusive jack wagon did. However I have struggled a bit with seeing men who are older than me since then.
Immaturity most certainly killed the relationship with the younger guy. I am going on 28 and he just turned 24.
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Expert
Posts: 1210
Location: Kansas | That's what I figured. I'm 26 and it seems like the only available (nice) guys out there are younger than me, or are mid 30s coming out of a divorce. | |
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Married to a Louie Lover
Posts: 3303
| Welcome to my life.
I will say don't count the younger guys out. I'm talking to another one now who is 25, just graduated school, been living on his own for a few years, looking for a career type job. Totally different person than the last one with a totally different set of experiences. I feel like I can respect him instead of feeling like I have to mother him. | |
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 Elite Veteran
Posts: 936
| OhMax - 2015-03-31 4:11 PM Welcome to my life. I will say don't count the younger guys out. I'm talking to another one now who is 25, just graduated school, been living on his own for a few years, looking for a career type job. Totally different person than the last one with a totally different set of experiences. I feel like I can respect him instead of feeling like I have to mother him.
Totally agree with this sentiment. The guy I'm dating now is 21 and I am 23. We both have the same values and want the same things out of life and are willing to actually work for them. Don't always discredit the younger ones. I have always dated 5+ years older than me and all I have run into is baggage with that so far honestly. | |
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Owner of a ratting catting machine
Posts: 2258
| Just hang in there. I'm not ever going to lie to you and blow smoke and say you'll meet "the one". Maybe you won't. But I'm betting that eventually you're going to bump into one that you don't have to chase down, that opens doors, that is nice to you, that you really like, that doesn't let you down, and that makes you commit despite yourself. The ones that show up with all their baggage shining for the world to see, that admit to being a human and making ridiculous mistakes. Go with the guy that admits to, and owns his mess.
I promise you probably will be spooked, because it's real. If you're not terrified the whole time, you're a) probably not mature enough for a relationship anyway, or b) not really in it with the real deal. The real deal is somebody that really really is firing on all 12 for you, and you just can't seem to figure out how to send him packing, because he won't go, and he's doing everything right.
I think women get caught in this trap of figuring out how to make them stay. Why don't you figure out how to get rid of them? You hold that door open wide enough into "get lost loser" space, the good ones are going to be holding on for dear life and be the last ones standing.
I really don't care how old my guy is, I would have kept a younger guy if he'd gone out of his way to be a man like my husband does at 10 years older than me.
Boys are a blast, and they can be a boy their whole life. Learn to decipher what a man is, and date those. A guy can be a man when he's 20, it all just depends on who he really is.
Edited by classicpotatochip 2015-03-31 4:42 PM
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 Elite Veteran
Posts: 999
Location: Sunny So Cal | Mine was 10 years older and it didn't work out. Mostly on his part not mine. He was more bugged by the age than I was. He wanted more of good time rather than a relationship. Not how I am. | |
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Party Girl
Posts: 12293
Location: Buffalo, Wyoming | classicpotatochip - 2015-03-31 3:40 PM Just hang in there. I'm not ever going to lie to you and blow smoke and say you'll meet "the one". Maybe you won't. But I'm betting that eventually you're going to bump into one that you don't have to chase down, that opens doors, that is nice to you, that you really like, that doesn't let you down, and that makes you commit despite yourself. The ones that show up with all their baggage shining for the world to see, that admit to being a human and making ridiculous mistakes. Go with the guy that admits to, and owns his mess. I promise you probably will be spooked, because it's real. If you're not terrified the whole time, you're a) probably not mature enough for a relationship anyway, or b) not really in it with the real deal. The real deal is somebody that really really is firing on all 12 for you, and you just can't seem to figure out how to send him packing, because he won't go, and he's doing everything right. I think women get caught in this trap of figuring out how to make them stay. Why don't you figure out how to get rid of them? You hold that door open wide enough into "get lost loser" space, the good ones are going to be holding on for dear life and be the last ones standing. I really don't care how old my guy is, I would have kept a younger guy if he'd gone out of his way to be a man like my husband does at 10 years older than me. Boys are a blast, and they can be a boy their whole life. Learn to decipher what a man is, and date those. A guy can be a man when he's 20, it all just depends on who he really is.
You are so awesome with advice! Wish I could have gotten to know you more before you moved out of the great state of Wyoming! | |
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Elite Veteran
Posts: 999
Location: Sunny So Cal | UTAHCANCHASER - 2015-03-31 2:58 PM classicpotatochip - 2015-03-31 3:40 PM Just hang in there. I'm not ever going to lie to you and blow smoke and say you'll meet "the one". Maybe you won't. But I'm betting that eventually you're going to bump into one that you don't have to chase down, that opens doors, that is nice to you, that you really like, that doesn't let you down, and that makes you commit despite yourself. The ones that show up with all their baggage shining for the world to see, that admit to being a human and making ridiculous mistakes. Go with the guy that admits to, and owns his mess. I promise you probably will be spooked, because it's real. If you're not terrified the whole time, you're a) probably not mature enough for a relationship anyway, or b) not really in it with the real deal. The real deal is somebody that really really is firing on all 12 for you, and you just can't seem to figure out how to send him packing, because he won't go, and he's doing everything right. I think women get caught in this trap of figuring out how to make them stay. Why don't you figure out how to get rid of them? You hold that door open wide enough into "get lost loser" space, the good ones are going to be holding on for dear life and be the last ones standing. I really don't care how old my guy is, I would have kept a younger guy if he'd gone out of his way to be a man like my husband does at 10 years older than me. Boys are a blast, and they can be a boy their whole life. Learn to decipher what a man is, and date those. A guy can be a man when he's 20, it all just depends on who he really is. You are so awesome with advice! Wish I could have gotten to know you more before you moved out of the great state of Wyoming!
 I agree! Wish someone had told me this 10 years ago | |
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 You get what you give
Posts: 13030
Location: Texas | Wow that is the truth!!!
I finally go to experience the.. string you along, just want you for a good time, no intentions of committing.. its a vicious cycle. man its rewarding when you get their attention then its a mess when they blow you off again, just to get rewarded with a little attention from them later. I finally had enough of it. I'm 26 and he was 27.. soooooo... I don't think he'll ever grow up.
I've talked to people 5-6 years older than me. One we were totally not on the same page.. but I don't think age was the factor.. I think we just didnt click. This other guy I don't even notice the difference. | |
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You get what you give
Posts: 13030
Location: Texas | classicpotatochip - 2015-03-31 4:40 PM
Just hang in there. I'm not ever going to lie to you and blow smoke and say you'll meet "the one". Maybe you won't. But I'm betting that eventually you're going to bump into one that you don't have to chase down, that opens doors, that is nice to you, that you really like, that doesn't let you down, and that makes you commit despite yourself. The ones that show up with all their baggage shining for the world to see, that admit to being a human and making ridiculous mistakes. Go with the guy that admits to, and owns his mess.
I promise you probably will be spooked, because it's real. If you're not terrified the whole time, you're a) probably not mature enough for a relationship anyway, or b) not really in it with the real deal. The real deal is somebody that really really is firing on all 12 for you, and you just can't seem to figure out how to send him packing, because he won't go, and he's doing everything right.
I think women get caught in this trap of figuring out how to make them stay. Why don't you figure out how to get rid of them? You hold that door open wide enough into "get lost loser" space, the good ones are going to be holding on for dear life and be the last ones standing.
I really don't care how old my guy is, I would have kept a younger guy if he'd gone out of his way to be a man like my husband does at 10 years older than me.
Boys are a blast, and they can be a boy their whole life. Learn to decipher what a man is, and date those. A guy can be a man when he's 20, it all just depends on who he really is.
I am going to copy this and keep it forever! | |
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Expert
Posts: 1432
| I've dated younger and older. Married older and divorced him. They're all the same. Sure there's a few good ones out there but I just don't care anymore. I have a great life and am very happy being single. I'm very busy, hve an awesome rodeo career/horse training business and decided I'm living life for ME and I don't care if I hve a man to share it with. | |
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Expert
Posts: 1611
| casualdust07 - 2015-03-31 6:12 PM
classicpotatochip - 2015-03-31 4:40 PM
Just hang in there. I'm not ever going to lie to you and blow smoke and say you'll meet "the one". Maybe you won't. But I'm betting that eventually you're going to bump into one that you don't have to chase down, that opens doors, that is nice to you, that you really like, that doesn't let you down, and that makes you commit despite yourself. The ones that show up with all their baggage shining for the world to see, that admit to being a human and making ridiculous mistakes. Go with the guy that admits to, and owns his mess.
I promise you probably will be spooked, because it's real. If you're not terrified the whole time, you're a) probably not mature enough for a relationship anyway, or b) not really in it with the real deal. The real deal is somebody that really really is firing on all 12 for you, and you just can't seem to figure out how to send him packing, because he won't go, and he's doing everything right.
I think women get caught in this trap of figuring out how to make them stay. Why don't you figure out how to get rid of them? You hold that door open wide enough into "get lost loser" space, the good ones are going to be holding on for dear life and be the last ones standing.
I really don't care how old my guy is, I would have kept a younger guy if he'd gone out of his way to be a man like my husband does at 10 years older than me.
Boys are a blast, and they can be a boy their whole life. Learn to decipher what a man is, and date those. A guy can be a man when he's 20, it all just depends on who he really is.
I am going to copy this and keep it forever!
Very well put  | |
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