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 Elite Veteran
Posts: 696
  
| I need help and i don't know where else to turn. I hope nobody minds me sharing details of my personal life. PLEASE KEEP ANY NEGATIVE OR RUDE COMMENTS TO YOURSELF. I am seriously and desperately searching for help.
Has anyone ever delt with bipolar (or a similar condition) in their husband or other loved one? Where do you turn to get them help? He says he isn't bipolar but knows he suffers from depression. He was on prozac for many years but didn't like how it made him a "zombie" and not care about anything at all so he took himself off of it. I agree prozac isn't the right medication for him but he needs some type of help. I don't feel like going to his primary care doc is going to help enough. I'm afraid they will just stick him on any ole meds and he won't get the true help he needs. Should I go straight for counseling of some sort? (not sure what his insurance covers so i need to check that because money is extremely tight due to him missing so much work becuase his lack of motivation and drive). If counseling is the answer, how do I go about finding the right counselor, etc? Please any and all advice is very much appreciated. If you would rather pm me please do. We're on the verge of losing each other and we have two 18 month old little girls that think their daddy walks on water so I don't want to give up on him. (just want to put in there that he has never physically hurt me or the kids so that is not an issue. if that happened i wouldn't be trying to stick around.) |
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 Midget Lover
  
Location: Kentucky | You may have to see your primary doctor to even get a referral to a specialist. I would start with them. Go with him to the appt. I went with my husband when they put him on anti-anxiety medication. It made a world of difference. I would encourage counseling also. Bipolar depression IS a type of depression, so not sure why he thinks that he may not have that. |
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Elite Veteran
Posts: 696
| Thank you. I didn't think about needing referrals. I think he's just afraid to put a big "name" to it instead of just calling it depression. Was your husband actually "diagnosed" with bi-polar? Just wondering what his symptoms were and all that led y'all to go see his doctor. Everything that i read by googling are his symptoms exactly from the major highs and then the major lows of sleeping for days. |
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Midget Lover
Location: Kentucky | runnin.on.dreams - 2015-06-01 3:22 PM Thank you. I didn't think about needing referrals. I think he's just afraid to put a big "name" to it instead of just calling it depression. Was your husband actually "diagnosed" with bi-polar? Just wondering what his symptoms were and all that led y'all to go see his doctor. Everything that i read by googling are his symptoms exactly from the major highs and then the major lows of sleeping for days.
My husband suffers from severe anxiety. He would totally lose his $%^& over the SMALLEST thing. Then he would take it out on me. It took him a long time to really admit that he had an issue. |
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 Expert
Posts: 1392
Location: Central Texas | My best friend is clinically diagnosed with bi polar and ptsd. Medication is the only thing that keeps her from trying to kill herself (she has tried multiple times) She also hates going to the doctor and hated the way some of the meds made her feel. It was a lot of trial and error. Just like with our horses not all meds will work for everyone. It requires some patience to find the right combo of meds. I also found that if I didn't tag along with her to appt's she wouldn't go and she would quit taking her meds when she started to feel "good" because she thought she didn't need them anymore.....wrong, I would always know within 24 - 48 hours if she was off her meds and headed for a downward spiral. She is super fun and outgoing when on the uphill high but the swing down is scary.
I say stick with the doctor and get a referral to a specialist. |
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 Expert
Posts: 5290
| Depends on your insurance. If you have a PPO you need to go to a specialist first. If HMO, need a referral from primary care doc. There are several different types of Bipolar disorder. Medications will will vary depending on the specific type. This is my area of expertise. See a Psychiatrist first if possible. Therapy is useful once meds are given and monitored for a period of time to pinpoint dosage. Therapy will just allow the patient to recognize and self regulate the ups/Down periods of the disorder. But first, need an accurate diagnosis. |
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 Serious Snap Trapper
Posts: 4275
Location: In The Snow, AZ | I am so sorry you're dealing with this, and although I have no advice, just try and stick with it. My mom has been "diagnosed" with severe depression, BiPolar disorder, anxiety and panic disorders, etc. By several different drs. She has been on and off what seems like hundreds of medications throuought the past several years. Things will work for a period of time, and then she goes downhill again. Just keep trying. Keep pushing. And keep as positive as you can. |
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 Undercover Amish Mafia Member
Posts: 9991
Location: Kansas | Murphy - 2015-06-01 2:25 PM runnin.on.dreams - 2015-06-01 3:22 PM Thank you. I didn't think about needing referrals. I think he's just afraid to put a big "name" to it instead of just calling it depression. Was your husband actually "diagnosed" with bi-polar? Just wondering what his symptoms were and all that led y'all to go see his doctor. Everything that i read by googling are his symptoms exactly from the major highs and then the major lows of sleeping for days. My husband suffers from severe anxiety. He would totally lose his $%^& over the SMALLEST thing. Then he would take it out on me. It took him a long time to really admit that he had an issue.
This is how my father was.
It takes several medications to find the right "fit" for a person. If his anxiety is the worst of it, xanax might be something to check into.
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 Pressing the Like Button
Posts: 1428
Location: Ferris, TX | Most primary care physicians will have the test (like what you find on internet) for Bipolar. it's more common than most people think. I suffer from bipolar depression. I take Abilify along with Effexor. Abilify is extremely expensive but I purchase from Canada. It has made a world of difference in my quality of life.  |
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 A Barrel Of Monkeys
Posts: 12972
Location: Texas | I think bipolar is diagnosed by interviewing the patient; i.e., are there any "manic" phases where s/he needs very little sleep, is highly creative, more social, etc. There are also "hypo-manic" episodes.
It sounds more like the OP's husband is just very depressed. The problem with some of the anti-depressants is, they have side effects that are not acceptable to men. But there are others without those side effects.
As far as the diagnosis, or "label", who cares? It's just a word, and being diagnosed is the beginning of a better, richer life.
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Elite Veteran
Posts: 696
| Fun2Run - 2015-06-02 2:06 PM
I think bipolar is diagnosed by interviewing the patient; i.e., are there any "manic" phases where s/he needs very little sleep, is highly creative, more social, etc. There are also "hypo-manic" episodes.
It sounds more like the OP's husband is just very depressed. The problem with some of the anti-depressants is, they have side effects that are not acceptable to men. But there are others without those side effects.
As far as the diagnosis, or "label", who cares? It's just a word, and being diagnosed is the beginning of a better, richer life.
I believe he does have the manic phases. He will have days at a time where he is wonderful, happy, cheerful, but can't sleep at night. Like he will literally go days in a row where he only sleeps maybe an hour or two in the night but he's able to keep going and going. Then he will all of a sudden sleep for a day or two (literally 24-48 hours of sleep with only waking for bathroom and food) and during his awake moments he treats me like absolute dirt and pushes me past my limit. I don't necessarily care about the word itself, i just care that he is properly diagnosed and treated. I have read that if someone IS in fact bipolar then just regular antidepressants can actually be worse for them so that's what i mean by being properly diagnosed. Thank you for your reply too. Like i said, every thought and opinion is appreciated. |
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| My hubby was diagnosed with "bipolar depression with psychosis" years ago, he's tried soooo many different drug "cocktails" as they are called. As of right now, his newest med, called Safris (sp?) is wonderful and we're both very pleased with the result, its in addition to his other two psych drugs he has to take. The biggest worry I have is him accidentally forgetting to take his meds, I can always tell the next day, if he missed a dose. |
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Elite Veteran
Posts: 696
| Thank you all very much for your replies. I have made him an appointment tomorrow with his primary care doctor that we will BOTH go to. He has agreed to go. He knows he needs help of some sort and he knows he will lose me and our babies if he does not get that help. I know as most of you have said it will most likely not be an easy fix but i am willing to stick it out and help him in any way that i can as long as he is taking the steps to help himself too. Thank you to each of you for being the support that i need. I truly appreciate it! |
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 Take a Picture
Posts: 12838
| runnin.on.dreams - 2015-06-01 10:40 PM
Thank you all very much for your replies. I have made him an appointment tomorrow with his primary care doctor that we will BOTH go to. He has agreed to go. He knows he needs help of some sort and he knows he will lose me and our babies if he does not get that help. I know as most of you have said it will most likely not be an easy fix but i am willing to stick it out and help him in any way that i can as long as he is taking the steps to help himself too. Thank you to each of you for being the support that i need. I truly appreciate it!
At least he is trying to help himself and realizes there is a problem. Depression is a serious illness. Sometimes it may take trial and error to get the meds right so be patient. It sounds like you are. Each person is an individual and must be evaluated and treated accordingly. I think one of the main things is to take the medicine REGULARLY. I think when Robin Williams killed himself it brought the seriousness of this disease to light. Good luck. |
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 Extreme Veteran
Posts: 331
Location: Loma Linda, CA | Im diagnosed as a bi-polar with a mood disorder.
I was going to therapy initially in an out patient program 5 days a week for 4 hours a day, then I did weekly therapy and I take a couple meds.
I take an anti-depressant and a mood regulator and Im a million times better for it.
I take cymbalta and Trileptal
Edited by Phxbarrel 2015-06-02 1:34 AM
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 Elite Veteran
Posts: 617
Location: London Ontario | My hubby is the same, I cant think of the name of the disorder he was diagnosed with but it means he has a little anxiety, a little bi-polar etc etc. His mom has it as well, so it may be genetic but he also didn't have the best childhood either. He too had to try different meds and doses till he found one that worked. The meds he is on right now makes him very sick if he goes off it for more then a few days. It doesn't make him feel like a zombie, it just evens his moods out. It put pressure on our relationship too, he had to come to terms with it himself and accept it before any real changes happened. Good luck! |
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Elite Veteran
Posts: 696
| MC1993 - 2015-06-03 5:59 AM
My hubby is the same, I cant think of the name of the disorder he was diagnosed with but it means he has a little anxiety, a little bi-polar etc etc. His mom has it as well, so it may be genetic but he also didn't have the best childhood either. He too had to try different meds and doses till he found one that worked. The meds he is on right now makes him very sick if he goes off it for more then a few days. It doesn't make him feel like a zombie, it just evens his moods out. It put pressure on our relationship too, he had to come to terms with it himself and accept it before any real changes happened. Good luck!
My husband also had a terrible childhood (and i mean seriously) |
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 IMA No Hair Style Gal
Posts: 2594
| I will send you a message later, I have a lot that I can share.
My mom was institutionalized twice, once when I was a kid, and once two years ago from mental breakdowns. She is currently being treated for bi-polar disorder and doing well.
My father in law also had some mental issues, was institutionalized once, took his life two days after Christmas. This has been a struggle for my husband who suffers from depression and a few other things.
We see a doctor for medication, and a counselor. Both of these people have been our saving grace. Just wanted you to know there is hope. Will PM the details this evening when I have more time. |
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 Ms. Elvis
Posts: 9606
Location: Running barrels or watching nascar | I thought I was bipolar but I was tested two different times and I wasn't. I was on Prozac but it too knocked me out. I'm currently on something with a 'v'. My depression problems are also related to my allergy and anxiety problems. When it gets wet, I go emotionally nuts! I can't handle rain, cold weather, etc. I've had off and on anxiety problems including one that caused me to lose a job I thought would be a career. I lost a horse last year, took that hard and got messed up all over again, emotionally. I've had anxiety get to me in the arena, social occasions, etc. I've had counseling but your 'bad things' don't always come out during a session. I guess I also have trouble opening up to someone when I talk to them. I also don't like that I bawl my eyes out when I'm talking to someone, sometimes. Just keep swimming, just keep swimming! |
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