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Miss Not Exciting
Posts: 3279
   
Location: Ft Worth TX | Ok as you all have probably figure I lack some confidence in my knowledge and what I think is nescessary... And therefore often look for confirmation my thinking is correct.
I don't feel this is something healthy that I do and want to fix it but have no clue how and at the same time don't want to be a "know it all" lol.
I feel my knowledge has come a LONG WAY, with horsemanship, care, and training. I often get asked if I will take a horse on for training and I reply with "I only train my own I don't feel I'm qualified to train someone else's horse." Which I don't feel qualified to do so unless I am spitting out winners left and right. I will help or give some lessons on occasion... I do sell the ones I train and they do go on to do well and I'm often told they are "easy" to run...
I feel this lack of confidence is holding me back from what I could do... Don't get me wrong I don't ever want to train anything but my own either.
Another consequence I think from lack of confidence is the thought "everyone's watching me" and "I hope I'm doing this right" and I shut down. I seldomly enter a race much anymore because I like bringing youngsters along and exhibitioning it's less stress lol.
Has anyone else overcome such issues that has some advice? |
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 Own It and Move On
Location: The edge of no where | Why worry about what anyone else thinks? Saw this the other day and died laughing....
"I used to care about other people's opinions, until I tried to pay my bills with them."
Do you want to train for the public? If not...who cares?
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 Chasin my Dream
Posts: 13651
 
Location: Alberta | Find the fun again......you started doing it cause you enjoy it, find that again..... |
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 IMA No Hair Style Gal
Posts: 2594
| We have all been there. Just keep on keepin' on. If you want to take in outside horses go for it! Life is too short to be worried about following your dreams.
Are you going to make mistakes? You bet. Horses can really be awesome at humbling us humans. It is just all part of the process. Anyone that judges obviously doesn't understand that, or they are jealous. Neither are worth your time thinking about.
I used to lack a lot of confidence. I have come to learn that knowledge helps with that. This past year I have spent a lot of time working with multiple trainers. A dressage trainer, a barrel trainer, and a horsemanship trainer. Boy have I learned some really awesome things, and I am riding better than I ever have in my life, BUT I am still getting my ass handed to me in the arena....LOL But whatever....if people talk so what....doesn't mean I am going to stop trying or give up on my horse. I will keep working on me, to bring out the super star that he is. That is what I am most passionate about with horses, learning to bring out the best in them, and not giving up even when others think I should.
One day I will be kicking their butts with said horse. ;-)
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  Whack and Roll
Posts: 6342
Location: NE Texas | I completely understand where you're coming from. I don't ever doubt myself as to whether i'm doing something right or not, and i'm willing to try new things that make sense to me, but I completely understand the enjoyment of training and selling the young ones. It is fun to see those "lightbulb moments" and gives you, as a trainer, a great deal of satisfaction to see them progress and go on to make nice horses and win for other people. I too have trained and sold my own horses for the last 10 - 15 years. I have a full time job and don't rely on training horses to make a living, so i've mostly just trained my own and sold them as 5 or 6 YO's, and have made some lifetime friends through these sales. It gives me great pleasure to see my horses do well for others.
Don't doubt yourself and in what you're doing, especially if it's proving to be successful. If you don't want to take outside horses, don't. Last year I agreed to take a few outside horses for a BB and really enjoyed it and they all 3 came along very well, but I will admit that I put more pressure on myself when starting someone else's horses than I do with the ones I own personally.
I currently am in a situation with a horse I trained and sent out to be seasoned due to him checking my pride for me one day at home cruising through. He's a 5 YO and is one of those freak horses we all dream of owning. In the first 3 months of entering he ran top of the 1D bottom of the 2D against the toughest horses in the country and even outran some American qualifiers. This horse has the tools and the ability to compete at the uppermost level of our sport. I admittedly have considered selling him simply due to the fact that I do lack some confidence in running him and have had some trouble getting my game face back. Secondly, I have a family and step daughters who play ball and I don't get to go to as many barrel races as I used to. 10 years ago this horse would have been perfect for me, but now with a family and different priorities, he's going to be doing alot more loping circles and pasture riding than he is going to barrel races. The pressure I put on myself to be successful with him is immense and often times not much fun. This is the one I intended to keep for myself, but at the same time I would sure love to see him get the opportunity to compete with those horses we all dream of owning. Decisions, decisions....
Bottom line is don't doubt yourself or your program. You're obviously doing the right thing if you're continually turning out horses that are user friendly and people are looking to you to purchase. If they are asking why you don't ride outside horses, it's because they see you're doing things right as well. We all have our critics and our demons, but my advice to you would be to be confident in yourself and your program. If you want to take an outside horse to see how it goes, go for it, if not, don't. One of these days you may have one that you do want to haul and compete on and if not, there's no shame in that either. But don't let your fear of what others may or may not think determine your self worth or the success of what you're doing. At the end of the day we are our own biggest critics and fans, so learn to please yourself and you'll find that happiness and confidence you're looking for.
Edited by Herbie 2015-06-12 10:03 AM
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 Ms. Elvis
Posts: 9606
Location: Running barrels or watching nascar | I have a similar problem. I don't doubt myself at all in practice, but boy when people show up, ugh I cringe. Sometimes it's 'oh no she's (any big name) is here, I don't have a shot in the world'. Definitely not my horse's fault but I've been falling in the 'D-cracks' and it has sure been frustrating. |
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 Extreme Veteran
Posts: 385
Location: TN | I'm so glad you posted this. I needed it. I've had a confidence problem for several years. I'm always critical of myself and my abilities. Glad to see there are others out there with the same problem. And I'm really enjoying reading the uplifting replies on here :) |
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 Ones with the Hotties
Posts: 1451
Location: Centerburg, OH | Hang in there, and keep riding!  You have come a long ways, and are still young, horses are a lifetime of learning.  |
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 Elite Veteran
Posts: 920
| I have a friend with this issue now. I told her to get out of her head and ride her horse. I she has a problem work on it. Ask for help when needed and take the information how you want. It's a public sport so you can't worry about anyone else's opinion. I they are that worried about it seems they are missing out on something and need to reevaluate themselves. |
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Extreme Veteran
Posts: 437
| I too found myself in the midst of a huge confidence loss tried so many things. Finally A book called With Winning In Mind made all the difference for me. I have read many books but this one struck home for me it's a short easy read and so powerful |
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