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 Elite Veteran
Posts: 899
  
Location: Idaho | I am on the same boat with you! And to be honest, I still have a lot of trust and fear issues when it comes to riding. If I feel things aren't going to go right, I will wait for the day that does.
About 3 years ago I got thrown from my gelding (who was just 3 years old then, 10th ride) and I got a little cocky and decided that he was fine, that he wasn't going to do anything. I didn't have anyone holding onto him. Well, I put my foot in the stirrup and started to pull myself up. I scared him, but stupid me I figured I would just stop him when I got in the saddle. He threw me pretty hard, and I don't blame him. It wasn't his fault, but I hit the dirt and I ended up with a broken back. I couldn't move, had to be carried out on a stretcher. Luckily I had a good chiro and I didn't have to do surgery. After that I sent him to my friend to put 60 days on him. It took a LONG time, a lot of help, a lot of people pushing me to keep him and keep riding him to get to where we are today. I never rode him without working him on the ground first. But now.. now.. we are finally where we need to be. I think it helps to know that that was the ONLY time he has bucked under saddle since he's been started under saddle, and it was my fault. I have a lot more trust in him now, he is so calm and relaxed, and he listens. So far he is great when he is hauled new places, you can't fight with him. It has to be a joint effort or else he will get mad(This happens if I get frustrated, he does do anything stupid he just gets fussy. I'm grateful because it reminds me to come back down and relax). But if you work with him as a team, he is such an amazing horse.
Other than that though I still won't ride a strange horse, and if I do I put the owner on them first to make sure they won't get stupid. Some things that have helped me, God Bless them, were trainers and my close friends that pushed me to ride. To keep riding, and to ride him like he should be rode. Sometimes it's good to be yelled at, because sometimes you need it. I also have a helmet, which I love my helmet. It gives me a little more confidence in knowing my head it protected. Mind Gym is a really good book too! A friend of mine gave a copy to me years ago. And I would say time, find yourself a good horse that can build up your trust. You may still have concern for riding OTHER horses, but if you have that one or two that you can say, this horse is "it." Then hey, I'd go for it.
Edited by DashNDustem 2017-01-26 12:41 PM
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Extreme Veteran
Posts: 408
| I had my share of bad wrecks but the one that took my confidence was when I was in the hospital for a month about to loose my kidneys ( a month in the hospital and a month bed rest, trust me, it wasn't fun)
Many years later I still fight to overcome my fear every single time I put a foot in the stir up. I am not about to tell you what to do, or what you should do, fear is the worse to get over, there is not a person that can help you (although encouragement goes a long way), only you and your desire/want to conquer it can get you there. I sometimes have even struggled with the idea of quitting altogether but QUITTING IS NOT AN OPTION!!!!
In my particular case, my horses are pretty easy going (they are still horses of course but I made sure I am not overmounted). Also, every time I am starting to doubt myself and my fears of the "what ifs" start creeping in, I remain myself to trust my training and to trust my horse's training. Deep breaths help a lot and if it gets really bad, I will get off, walk it off and get back on....
On a PERSONAL note, I also ride with a helmet, I don't care if I am trail riding, walking around the field, checking cattle, riding in the arena or barrel racing... To me is another way to reduce the risks that come with what we love to do (and I say reduce!), and it does make me feel safer. Again, it is a MY personal choice and my personal experience.
Good luck, you will be fine, I assure you. Be kind to yourself, take your time, trust your training and your horses' training and surround yourself with positive, encouraging people (fellow riders)! Fear is our worse enemy, don't let it win!
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Go Get Em!
Posts: 13503
  
Location: OH. IO | I wish I could be of some help but after the last horse I had tore my bladder and hurt me bad I've only been on one other horse and I didn't stay on long without an epic panic attack.i want so bad to have a trail horse and do the things our family used to do,but after waisting a whole day of my friends time looking at a horse I think I've given up.all I want is a pretty little dependable sane horse.I just don't think I'll find one I'm comfortable on ever again :( | |
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 My Heart Be Happy
Posts: 9159
Location: Arkansas | jake16 - 2017-01-26 8:53 PM
I wish I could be of some help but after the last horse I had tore my bladder and hurt me bad I've only been on one other horse and I didn't stay on long without an epic panic attack.i want so bad to have a trail horse and do the things our family used to do,but after waisting a whole day of my friends time looking at a horse I think I've given up.all I want is a pretty little dependable sane horse.I just don't think I'll find one I'm comfortable on ever again :(
I bet your friend didn't think you were wasting her time; she probably would love to keep looking and help you get your "just right" horse. And I hope you give it another chance and look again  | |
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Industrial Srength Barrel Racer
Posts: 7268
| jake16 - 2017-01-26 8:53 PM
I wish I could be of some help but after the last horse I had tore my bladder and hurt me bad I've only been on one other horse and I didn't stay on long without an epic panic attack.i want so bad to have a trail horse and do the things our family used to do,but after waisting a whole day of my friends time looking at a horse I think I've given up.all I want is a pretty little dependable sane horse.I just don't think I'll find one I'm comfortable on ever again :(
I feel the EXACT same way. | |
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 Life Saver
Posts: 10477
Location: MT | Sorry for the duplication. I just wrote this on another thread yesterday, however it seems to fit here as well.
I was always fearless. Even through some bad horse wrecks that resulted in broken bones and several surgeries.
I was bucked off in late 2011 and fractured my L2 vertebrae among other injuries. During the trip to the emergency room, after a cat scan they told me that I had also fractured my T11 vertebrae in the past. Immediately I knew what wreck that came from. What was amazing to me was how my normal fearless self morphed into something entirely different after that wreck.
In the years between then and now, I struggled with many things. Having to put down my trusty old barrel horse after he developed problems with his kidneys. My husband bought me a horse in 2012 that I just could never get along with. He pushed all my buttons and knew how to buffalo me. And did rear with me pretty bad once. I didn't enjoy riding anymore. I felt so out of shape (and am still working on that) after recovering from my injuries. And I had not gone to a barrel race since before my wreck.
Late this fall, I finally decided enough was enough with trying to fit with my current horse. I told my husband that he was the proud new owner of the horse that I did not fit with. That I didn't care whether he kept him or sold him....that I was done. I then sold a pickup that I owned for money to go horse shopping with.
So I went horse shopping. But this time, I decided that I wasn't looking for the normal kind of horse that I would buy. And now, I own the cutest, sweetest little gelding you ever did see. And you know what. It's the middle of the winter in Montana, and I've been out riding on this little dude in 2 feet of snow..........and enjoying the hell out of riding again. Is he going to make a top flight barrel horse? Probably not. But you know what? I needed to stop focusing on that and just get back to enjoying taking my horse out for a ride again.
Sometimes, things just don't go together the way you think they should. Sometimes a person just needs to change directions and refocus. It's okay to admit that things aren't working the way you would like them to and cut the cord.
I still have ambitions of getting back to running someday. This little gelding I have now is a big part of that, even if he's not going to be the barrel horse I want someday in the end. He's tolerant of my fears and faults. He's helping me to get that confidence back. And the riding I've been doing is sure to help get me back in shape again.
So I guess what I'm saying is don't be afraid to give up on something that is not working out. Trade it in for something that will. For so long I felt like I needed to make things work with the horse my husband bought for me, only because I felt that I would disappoint him if it didn't. Well guess what, he got over it. And I found a great little gelding whose purpose in life right now is just to get my back in the saddle and out enjoying riding again. | |
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 I Don't Brag
Posts: 6960
| jake16 - 2017-01-26 8:53 PM
I wish I could be of some help but after the last horse I had tore my bladder and hurt me bad I've only been on one other horse and I didn't stay on long without an epic panic attack.i want so bad to have a trail horse and do the things our family used to do,but after waisting a whole day of my friends time looking at a horse I think I've given up.all I want is a pretty little dependable sane horse.I just don't think I'll find one I'm comfortable on ever again :(
I am so sorry that this happened to you, gosh some of y'all have really been hurt, I just landed on my head and got my bell rung, never lost consciousness even.
My heart goes out to you, you have the still have the want. Have you considered an older been there, done that trail type horse? If you could find one with a bit more age than you normally would consider I am sure that one would be grateful to have loving, caring home in exchange for being your steady Eddy, I am talking about one not interested n going much more than a shuffle. It takes steps for many of us, there is no, one Disney moment where your fear is met and overcome and you go on to win the World. It's getting on and sitting on one while someone leads you around to walking around in a round pen, then arena then yard and so on. It will take a spook or two at a walk where you don't fall off and maybe actually laugh at it again.
Or maybe you will just be content to walk out to the barn to feed just to be able to breath in that horsey aroma all of us are addicted to. Whatever you choose, it's OK. I am hoping that you will find a level that makes you happy and content. | |
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Never Named
Posts: 1837
Location: Southern Alabama | I deleted both of my previous comments, because I feel that this is more detailed. Please excuse that I copied this from another thread.... I just feel like they both go hand in hand.
In 2008, I had the worst wreck I have ever had in my entire life. In all honesty, it probably should have ended it, right there.
My good, trustworthy, faithful, seasoned rodeo mare spooked on a trail ride. Something she never did. I would have been positive that a nuclear bomb could have went off next to her and she would have never batted an eye. Not that day. A trash can blew over in the wind. She lost her marbles and bolted and fell on the pavement. Then, drug me about 300 yards down the pavement. Broke my left leg in 13 places. Broke my jaw and it had to be wired shut, internal bleeding from being stepped on, broke my left arm, my right elbow, numerous ribs, my nose, fingers, you name it. I spent the next 2 years having numerous surgeries, PT, and, learning to walk again. For 6 months after I could walk.... I would not get near a horse. I was petrified, honestly. Every person I thought was on my side, beat me down mentally. I had been a hell of a hand, riding anything. And, had turned out some really nice horses. And now... I couldn't even touch one over a fence. Finally.... one day, I woke up and thought to myself - "Today will be different." I walked outside and stood about 10 feet from the fence, shaking. I was so afraid. And then, I just bit the bullet. I walked to the fence and called them to me, like I had millions of times before. And, when they all got there, they just KNEW. I was still on crutches at this time, so, everything was a little difficult. My good rodeo mare, the one who the wreck was on, stayed next to me, the entire time. Helped me walk in the deep sand on my crutches. The next day, I got on her. I stayed in a round pen for weeks. Too terrified to do anything else but walk. It honestly felt like I had never ridden before. I just kept up with it, every day. And here I am, today. I still get nervous if one gets a little flighty or humps up. If one spooks, sometimes, my reflexes to save myself try and take over and I almost forget how to ride. But, I fight it. I fight the urge to get off and give up. That is not who I am. This is the first year, since before that accident, that I have owned a horse that isn't broke.... she is pushing me to be who I once was. She challenges me. And, that is what I need.
As I said, the worst about all of this, was the people supposedly be on my team, rooting against me. The ridicule of getting off anytime I felt unsure. Talking about me because of the panic attacks. And, even making fun of me because I can no longer step up on a horse from the ground.
I agree with others about the quote - find something that speaks to YOU. Like it was written directly about you. Write it down. Put it everywhere - the bathroom, the trailer, your desk, wherever you will see it when you need a pick up.
Start small. Work up to be who you once were. Don't try to turn out the next NFR qualifier tomorrow. Work on perfecting every ounce of your skills, your knowledge. Take lessons with a good, reputable trainer and let them help you be who you once were.
If you need help, want to talk, anything... PM me :)
Edited by TURNNBURNCOWGIRL 2017-01-29 8:43 AM
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 Can You Hear Me Now?
Location: When you hit the middle of nowhere .. Keep driving | Nateracer - 2017-01-26 8:50 AM
Buy a helmet.
I've had my share of wrecks. Â Fell off at 4 or 5 under the backend of a horse, Â got 4 stitches in my forehead for my trouble. Â Fell of at 12 on to a steel bar. Â Broke the weld on the bar, and have bruising in my spine still. (I'm 35). Â Fell off at 17, knocked my pelvis out of whack to the tune of one side being 1 inch higher than the other. Â Every last one of those...hopped back on after the chiro and kept on going.
Horse fell down with me at a barrel at about age 25-26. Â Popped out a rib. Â It HURT. Â All of a sudden I went from 2D-3D Â to 4D-5D or not even close. Â It's SUCKS when you are older! Â The bounce just doesn't recover as well! Â Â
I bought myself a helmet and my head got reset on my shoulders. Â Went back to 2D-3D. Â Protect your head and hopefully it will reset your mindset because you'll feel safer.Â
Amen! I had one at 23 that shook me up bad too. I had fallen off too many times to count as a kid and never got hurt. This time I was just working one in a field and she fell with me. I broke my pelvis & collar bone, level 4 separated shoulder, dislocated my hip and gave me a concussion. The bruising was something I haven't seen ever... For the longest time I have had a fear of horses. I just ran my first set of barrels and poles last year after 7 years and felt a lot safer with a helmet. It took a lot and I was on a steady eddie to do so. I loved him for keeping me safe because my nerves were enough to send most horses into a panic. It also broke my heart this past summer when I lost him two months after I took the leap of running again for the first time and I was back to square 1... I have horse power now with numerous that could help me do well but I'm still struggling with my confidence as well partly because I think about what will happen if I get hurt... I have bills to pay and animals to look after. I plan on starting slow... there are 3 horses I trust with all my heart and am going to work my way up. Ironically one is the one I got injured on, I know it wasn't her fault but accidents happen. A helmet has helped tremendously. 
Edited by ndiehl 2017-01-29 9:23 PM
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 Did I miss the party?
Posts: 3864
| Add me to the club. I was also hurt very badly in 2011 when I was bucked off during a competition run. I was taken out by ambulance with 6 broken bones, a punctured lung and a brain bleed. I was hospitalized and had a couple follow up surgeries. I've never been the same. I don't think I ever will be the same. But, this is all I know so, I keep trying.
I went back to running relatively quickly (5 months) with a borrowed, bomb proof horse. I appreciated the friends who let me borrow him, it helped me quite a bit to feel safe on a horse. But, then some things happened in life that caused me to take a break from running barrels. That time off was the worst thing that could've happened. I came back to riding and was completely terrified, even on a gelding I'd raised since he was a 2 year old.
My gelding was always on the injured list so, I got a little mare. She was scared of other horses in the warm up pen. That wasn't good for me. It messed with my mind quite a bit. I would lunge her to warm her up most of the time, then worry if I had warmed her up enough to not buck during a run (she never bucked thankfully) But, her being so jumpy made me insecure and then she fed off of that (she was young). I got that mare up in to the 1D/2D, she was super talented but, had to sell her due to some personal reasons. I am sort of glad I did, the stronger she got, the more she had my number and I became very timid. It wasn't fun for me anymore and I dealt with major fear.
Now I'm coming off of a break from running barrels again. I've only run about 10 times in 2 years. This forced time off from running has been awful for my mind. Each time it happens I start back at ground zero again with the fear.
I'm legging my horse up now and plan to run in March. I know I'm going to deal with panic and fear when I get to a barrel race. All I can say for sure is, being on the right horse makes ALL THE DIFFERENCE in the world to me. If I'm not, it's bad..... bad bad. Like shaking and crying bad. But, the more I face it and run a solid horse, the better I get. It never goes away completely and I'll never be the same but, I won't quit.
Please know you're not alone........
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They Don't Know Me
Posts: 3299
Location: Bastrop, TX | Attend a Josey clinic. Been there done that. Helped my confidence after getting slam dunked a few times. | |
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 Not a Long Term Trail Rider
Posts: 3201
Location: Henryetta, OK | Attend a clinic. They can really help. Accidents and age plus responsibilities can really mess with a person's mind. I recommend a Connie Combs clinic. I have been riding with her for over 30 years. She has helped many people including me. I am still timid but keep riding. I am hosting a clinic March 11 and 12 south of Tulsa. If you need more info let me know.
I also want to tell all of you that I never step on a horse unless someone knows. I text my safety net person what time I will be back into the house. If I have not contacted them within 30 minutes of the time they call me. In over 30 yrs of doing this I have forgot one time. When I have gotten hurt someone can be here in 20 minutes. It is a way for me to continue to ride and my loved ones to know that I am riding.
Some may say my safety net is silly but I have ridden a lot of young horses and knowing I have a person who will be there for me is perfect.
I wish you all the joy I have every time I ride. Keep on riding one step at a time.
Oh, and I use a round pen a lot too. | |
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I just read the headlines
Posts: 4483
| wyogal98 - 2017-02-07 7:28 PM
Attend a clinic. They can really help. Accidents and age plus responsibilities can really mess with a person's mind. I recommend a Connie Combs clinic. I have been riding with her for over 30 years. She has helped many people including me. I am still timid but keep riding. I am hosting a clinic March 11 and 12 south of Tulsa. If you need more info let me know.
I also want to tell all of you that I never step on a horse unless someone knows. I text my safety net person what time I will be back into the house. If I have not contacted them within 30 minutes of the time they call me. In over 30 yrs of doing this I have forgot one time. When I have gotten hurt someone can be here in 20 minutes. It is a way for me to continue to ride and my loved ones to know that I am riding.
Some may say my safety net is silly but I have ridden a lot of young horses and knowing I have a person who will be there for me is perfect.
I wish you all the joy I have every time I ride. Keep on riding one step at a time.
Oh, and I use a round pen a lot too.
I think it's smart to have safety net people. If I am riding in the evening and I am out close se to dark, my husband is on the porch waiting to see me ride back in, lol. | |
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