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| cavyrunsbarrels - 2017-08-07 9:27 AM
Congratulations! Waiting a year between getting engaged and married is more than enough time. That's what we're doing. We have 5 weeks to go. Word of warning though, if you have ANY indication that either your family or his will be at all controlling or cause issues, elope. Just get the heck out of there. Wedding planning is tedious and sucks as it is, having to deal with rude, obnoxious inlaws that are constantly up in your business will make it absolutely unbearable. My fiance's parents have ruined any excitement I have for the day and have caused a lot of fighting between me and my fiance and so much unnecessary stress. It's just not worth it. You couldn't pay me to go through this BS again. Sorry, that was a bit of a rant, but I feel the need to warn people. It's great to get married but people can really mess up the experience.
THIS!!! I agree wholeheartedly!! It should be about you and your future spouse and what YOU want! Stand your ground if there are certain things you want, but remember to be flexible in how you achieve those things. My husband and I had some *lovely* chats about pulling the plug and eloping instead of dealing with the stress of planning even a small wedding, but I am so glad we chose to stick with it and had the best time!
Remember that communication is key- this is the biggest first day ever for you and your future husband, so try to include him a little in the details. My brother wasn't included in his wedding details at all, and he definitely felt left out. I tried to include my husband (maybe a little too much...) and I think he was happier knowing the details going in. | |
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| Chandler's Mom - 2017-08-21 6:49 PM
madredepeanut - 2017-08-21 8:46 PM
Congratulations! We got engaged during the winter, February, and planned our wedding for early summer, June, of that same year. We knew we wanted a small wedding, even though we have large extended families. We only invited our parents and siblings, and my cousin and his family (who are the parents of my godson). All in all, it was about 18 people, including the officiant, photographer, my husband and me, and the guests. It was the best day ever! Keeping it small meant we could do exactly what we wanted, and we had separate receptions/get togethers for both our families at a later date.
I think that is wonderful to include your best friend's mother, would you want her to do a reading of some sort? Or just be there and be able to enjoy the day being near you and your mother?
One thing I would not skimp on is a photographer! We hired a photographer that was local to my hometown, and he came with phenomenal reviews. We had such a great time and he enjoyed the day as much as we did, and the pictures are a great reminder of how special and wonderful the day was.
My brother had a HUGE wedding (almost 400 people), and I am so thankful we did not go that route. I can understand why people would, and why they wouldn't- and for us, having the small, intimate wedding was perfect.
Also- I rode up to the ceremony site on my college goat horse and it was glorious. Absolutely include your ponies if you can!!
CONGRATS AGAIN!!
I would like pictures of you on your bridal steed 
She had been sitting in the pasture happily being a horse and I uprooted her the week before the wedding, hopped on her and we went off like we hadn't missed a day! She's the real deal 
ETA: OOF that was harder to add attachments than it needed to be! And that was my grandmother's wedding dress from the 1940s that had been worn by an aunt or two!
Edited by madredepeanut 2017-08-21 9:19 PM
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 Saint Stacey
| My daughter just got married. Planning her wedding, we learned a few things. Have a Plan B for everything just in case Plan A ends up being a bust. Pay your items off a little at a time leading up to the big day. That way it doesn't hurt your pocketbook as much. Weddings are only as stressful as you allow them to be. At the end of the day, everything works out and the only ones that know if something isn't right is the bride and her mother. Congrats!!!! | |
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 Extreme Veteran
Posts: 421
Location: Texas!! | madredepeanut - 2017-08-21 9:02 PM
Chandler's Mom - 2017-08-21 6:49 PM
madredepeanut - 2017-08-21 8:46 PM
Congratulations! We got engaged during the winter, February, and planned our wedding for early summer, June, of that same year. We knew we wanted a small wedding, even though we have large extended families. We only invited our parents and siblings, and my cousin and his family (who are the parents of my godson). All in all, it was about 18 people, including the officiant, photographer, my husband and me, and the guests. It was the best day ever! Keeping it small meant we could do exactly what we wanted, and we had separate receptions/get togethers for both our families at a later date.
I think that is wonderful to include your best friend's mother, would you want her to do a reading of some sort? Or just be there and be able to enjoy the day being near you and your mother?
One thing I would not skimp on is a photographer! We hired a photographer that was local to my hometown, and he came with phenomenal reviews. We had such a great time and he enjoyed the day as much as we did, and the pictures are a great reminder of how special and wonderful the day was.
My brother had a HUGE wedding (almost 400 people), and I am so thankful we did not go that route. I can understand why people would, and why they wouldn't- and for us, having the small, intimate wedding was perfect.
Also- I rode up to the ceremony site on my college goat horse and it was glorious. Absolutely include your ponies if you can!!
CONGRATS AGAIN!!
I would like pictures of you on your bridal steed
She had been sitting in the pasture happily being a horse and I uprooted her the week before the wedding, hopped on her and we went off like we hadn't missed a day! She's the real deal
ETA: OOF that was harder to add attachments than it needed to be! And that was my grandmother's wedding dress from the 1940s that had been worn by an aunt or two!
Aww!! I love the pictures!! What an exciting life that beautiful dress has had! lol
Congratulations TessBelle!!
Edited by rodeodelux 2017-08-22 9:11 AM
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 Expert
Posts: 3782
 
Location: Gainesville, TX | Congratulations! We started officially dating on my husband's birthday in November (though we had been chatting on the phone and all a while before that). We were 'sort of' engaged by Christmas (as in already talking venues) though I didn't get a ring until spring. We were married August 16 right before our graduate programs started (we only had a weekend to honeymoon, I mean move, into our new digs). We had a really cool wedding, about 75 people, and how fast it moved was very stressful. My husband, who I love very much and have put up with for 9 years and who has put up with me for that long, was bridezilla during the process. My in laws were not really bad but I know there were some hurt feelings from the process. All that said, would I have changed a thing about it, no. We have some terrific memories. And yes our photographer was good and it made a huge difference in how we can remember our day. Most people will tell you that weddings are stressful. That is very much on point. I can definitely see why some people go to Vegas. But I still loved having our special day with family and friends. Actually, after we left, they paid our DJ to stay to 3 AM and everyone still talks about what a great time they had. | |
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 My Heart Be Happy
Posts: 9159
Location: Arkansas | madredepeanut - 2017-08-21 9:02 PM
Chandler's Mom - 2017-08-21 6:49 PM
madredepeanut - 2017-08-21 8:46 PM
Congratulations! We got engaged during the winter, February, and planned our wedding for early summer, June, of that same year. We knew we wanted a small wedding, even though we have large extended families. We only invited our parents and siblings, and my cousin and his family (who are the parents of my godson). All in all, it was about 18 people, including the officiant, photographer, my husband and me, and the guests. It was the best day ever! Keeping it small meant we could do exactly what we wanted, and we had separate receptions/get togethers for both our families at a later date.
I think that is wonderful to include your best friend's mother, would you want her to do a reading of some sort? Or just be there and be able to enjoy the day being near you and your mother?
One thing I would not skimp on is a photographer! We hired a photographer that was local to my hometown, and he came with phenomenal reviews. We had such a great time and he enjoyed the day as much as we did, and the pictures are a great reminder of how special and wonderful the day was.
My brother had a HUGE wedding (almost 400 people), and I am so thankful we did not go that route. I can understand why people would, and why they wouldn't- and for us, having the small, intimate wedding was perfect.
Also- I rode up to the ceremony site on my college goat horse and it was glorious. Absolutely include your ponies if you can!!
CONGRATS AGAIN!!
I would like pictures of you on your bridal steed
She had been sitting in the pasture happily being a horse and I uprooted her the week before the wedding, hopped on her and we went off like we hadn't missed a day! She's the real deal
ETA: OOF that was harder to add attachments than it needed to be! And that was my grandmother's wedding dress from the 1940s that had been worn by an aunt or two!
What a priceless memory that dress is and has created. Too cool, and you and your mare made it even more special---just wow. . . .
Congrats again to OP. Have you come up with any ideas for your friend's mother's part in the wedding? | |
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 You get what you give
Posts: 13030
Location: Texas | TessBelle - 2017-08-06 9:20 PM
I got engaged today on my 25th birthday!!!!! How long did everyone wait before actually getting married? And most importantly one of my best friends got killed in a car wreck 9 years ago. I've keep very close to her mother and that's who I go with to all the barrel races. I want her mother to be part of it some how. I don't know that I want her as a brides maid because I want her to sit on the front row next to my mother. But I don't know what I want. I am going to invite her to get dressed with me. Anyone else have any ideas?
I got engaged 10/11/2016 and am getting married 4/21/2018. It was a longer wait than I wanted but I wanted to finish vet school and my fiancé's twin brother is getting married this October and I didn't want to cram my wedding too close to theirs. | |
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 Not Afraid to Work
Posts: 4717
| Congrats! I think most people give themselves around a year depending on if they have a preference of time of year/venue.
As far as your friends Mom, maybe a personal attendant so she can be involved and there every step of the way. I have been that in a wedding and I got my hair done, bought a dress similar to the bridemaids, preferred seating, etc. | |
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 Extreme Veteran
Posts: 312
Location: KS | Ah Congrats, what an exciting time for you guys!!
My husband and I dated for almost 2.5 years (I was in college) before we got married, got engaged in November and less than 3 months later we got married (in February). Its completely a personal preference and depends how extravagant you plan to get with you big day.
I know of a gal who had the same type of person help them on their big day, I believe she called her an Honorary Mother, she was also the mother of a close friend she lost.
Good Luck and Best Wishes! | |
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Extreme Veteran
Posts: 312
Location: KS | madredepeanut - 2017-08-21 8:53 PM
cavyrunsbarrels - 2017-08-07 9:27 AM
Congratulations! Waiting a year between getting engaged and married is more than enough time. That's what we're doing. We have 5 weeks to go. Word of warning though, if you have ANY indication that either your family or his will be at all controlling or cause issues, elope. Just get the heck out of there. Wedding planning is tedious and sucks as it is, having to deal with rude, obnoxious inlaws that are constantly up in your business will make it absolutely unbearable. My fiance's parents have ruined any excitement I have for the day and have caused a lot of fighting between me and my fiance and so much unnecessary stress. It's just not worth it. You couldn't pay me to go through this BS again. Sorry, that was a bit of a rant, but I feel the need to warn people. It's great to get married but people can really mess up the experience.
THIS!!! I agree wholeheartedly!! It should be about you and your future spouse and what YOU want! Stand your ground if there are certain things you want, but remember to be flexible in how you achieve those things. My husband and I had some *lovely* chats about pulling the plug and eloping instead of dealing with the stress of planning even a small wedding, but I am so glad we chose to stick with it and had the best time!
Remember that communication is key- this is the biggest first day ever for you and your future husband, so try to include him a little in the details. My brother wasn't included in his wedding details at all, and he definitely felt left out. I tried to include my husband (maybe a little too much... ) and I think he was happier knowing the details going in.
I had inlaws this way. They told me they would not be attending our wedding if it was not in THEIR (Catholic) church. I chose to get married in the church I grew up in mainly because that's just what I had always planned and was comfortable with, my husband didn't care either way. So we chose to get married in my church (not a Catholic church) and his dad didn't come. I honestly though his mom wasnt going to either, she said she wasn't going to help with anything because she didn't know if she was going, so asked nothing of her, mind you I was very simple with my wedding and spent very little (which my parents paid for). 3 days before our wedding she called asking to do the rehearsal dinner, I told her no, she called my mom and asked, and she said yes (my moms and angel and always has been). She came by herself that day without her husband.
My husband and I have been together 10 years, married for almost 7, just welcomed our first child a year ago, and expecting another in October.
His folks tried so hard to take the joy out of our day, but the amount of people that came up and told me how proud they were for me being strong, for sticking it to them (these are the kind of people they are and my wedding is not the only thing they have tried to take the joy out of). It return I have a very terse relationship with my MIL, and a very distant relationship with them, but after so many years you have to choose your happiness over theirs. And helps a bunch when your husband finally after years understands how insane they are :)
Anyways just my experience, I was blessed to be brought up from an amazing family and did get an amazing husband out of it all. I hope your experience is a happy one on both sides, it will make the few times a year you do get together more enjoyable for all of you.
And hope the ones who have amazing family on both sides know how blessed they are!
I don't think I do it over again and elope mainly for the fact that it was important to me to have my dad walk me down the isle. I'm his only girl.
Edited by Peewee212 2017-08-26 11:24 AM
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