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Expert
Posts: 1446
  
Location: California | RoaniePonie11 - 2017-10-06 7:36 AM I'm going to reply one mass reply because I don't really want to bump this up a bunch. I'm not overly proud that I aired my dirty laundry, but thank you guys for everything. I'm going to try to address everything, if I don't remember your post, know it helped to see understanding people. I didn't mean to offend anyone with my comment about taking on more than most. I go to school with kids my age that get upset when their parents don't give them gas money or quit paying their cell phone bill. That's where that comment stems from. I do work 2 jobs to cover expenses and the plan is to sell the 2yos but there are 3000 2yos on the market right now, so I would have to give them away. I will probably end up wintering them and selling as 3s because they are too nice to give away. I also want to downsize trailers and get something smaller that is paid in full. My health is... okay. I workout a few times a week, and I eat well. Stress is sure taking its toll. I couldn't imagine what my health would be like if I didn't workout or eat right. Thank you guys for being concerned. I have got to do something about the stress though because it's killing my quality of life. I read a post that said to tell people no. That hits it right on the head. Tonight I will be going to pick up a friends horse at the vet (that I dropped off yesterday because he needed his teeth done before the barrel race this weekend), and I will be missing my SOs softball games. It's another "no" issue :/ As for the SO thing. It made me smile to read the ring on my finger post. We have been together 11 months yesterday. We have been looking at rings. He's not a free loader, he helps me a ton. I just don't expect him to take on my financial burden. Him and I are going to sit down and have a discussion this weekend about what all is going on in my life that I don't share with him (because I feel it's not his burden to bear). We are at that stage where we want to spend the rest of our lives with each other and are 100% prepared do to whatever that takes but there are things like being open about finances that we need to do first. I have literally never been open with anyone about my finances. I was raised that it's no ones business and no one else's problem. It's something I'm working on. Thank you again to everyone who took the time to read my sob story and cared enough to respond.
You do not need to apologize for being "offensive". You weren't, it's just a matter of how you want to look at what you said. And I understood what you meant.
My husband married me when I was in very substantial debt, and he had none. But if you're going to marry him you have to always be honest about your finances. No secret debt! Lay it all out there. The good, the bad and the ugly.
And I know it's hard to let a horse go for less than they are worth, but sometimes getting that extra strain off of your shoulders out weighs the loss you take.
Best of luck. | |
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 Owner of a ratting catting machine
Posts: 2258
| With all due respect, and no snarkiness intended, but you're still very much a baby. You don't know yet that most people can, and do, take on the load that you have, plus more. Much more.
If I could go back to 23 I would:
Sell the horses. All the horses. Keep the beloved dog and take her for more walks. Go to class, every single day. Focus on school. Sell the truck. Sell the trailer. Focus on school. Put all accumulated tack into storage. Go to class. Pet the dog. Break up with the guy and block his number. Take out restraining order. Chuckle while filling in the forms. Keep only one part time job. Party and have a great time and do stupid shttt and have amazing stories to tell. Go to class. Get straight As. Take trips with college friends, especially ones the folks don't know about. Go to class. Smoke more marijuana before career sets in and are subject to randoms for rest of life. Take dog for lots of walks and fun lake time. Visit grandparents, they have a tendency to pass away.
I have been incredibly successful in my career and probably sounded a lot like you do in this post when I was in school. Guess what? I literally don't have a single horse left in my life that I had a 23. I don't have the truck. I don't have the trailer. I don't have the guy. The dog just passed away a month ago, without me, because I gave her away. I'm still not okay about it. I don't have the residence, or so much a comforter set that I had in college. I still have all my tack, because I'm a hoarder.
Guess what I remember the most from college? I remember the fun. I remember the classes and the things I learned. I remember most the illicit trips to Vegas and Kansas City and Jackson MS, and Jackson Wy, and half a dozen other places I was absolutely NOT supposed to be. I remember having an absolute blast dancing with whoever the heck I wanted to dance with. I came out with a bachelors, a sense of humor, and work ethic, and all that I went in with was a sense of humor and work ethic. I WISH I had let myself be a kid, when I really was just a kid. I wish I had worked harder in school, and learned more! I also really wish I had smoked more weed and spent more time just relaxing while I had the chance.
Just consider your age, and just know that you've put yourself in a race to get somewhere that literally lasts the rest of your life. Chill out and have more fun, because you're going to look back and wonder what the heck was the big hurry? | |
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 Miss Laundry Misshap
Posts: 5271
| When do you have time to sleep? I had a part time job, 2 horses, and SO when I was that age, who I was engaged to, and I still had very little me time. I can't imagine 2 FT jobs, FT School, and all that you have with little to no help. You're killing yourself and you don't know it.
Get down to 1 or 2 horses. That will help reduce expenses so that you can quit a job or at least go to part time. One horse would really fix that. Make time for YOU! What exactly do you do with the horses, since you are so busy? I can't imagine traveling to race or show with all that. It's no fun because you are just feeding and shoveling crap.
As far as taking things on, I get it. There are a lot of lazy SOBs out there who want the whole world handed to them. Kudos for stepping up to the plate and being independent. But in that same sense, ask for help! If SO or kid down the street wants to ride, ask them to shovel stalls, or see if they want to lease - even if it's just a food lease. There's lots of things you can do! | |
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I Really Love Jeans
Posts: 3173
Location: North Dakota | The smartest thing you could do would be to let all the horses go and enjoy being a kid and build a career for yourself!!!!!!!!!! Visit with family now because they will be gone one day and you will wish you cherished every minute you had with them! Men come and go so build yourself a future so you can take care of YOU! You can get a horse again once you have saved some money and lived a little! The number one mistake young women make is not building a decent career!!! Anyway you have been given lots of good advice by people who know what they did wrong or right at your age!!!!! | |
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 Peecans
| classicpotatochip - 2017-10-06 9:24 AM
With all due respect, and no snarkiness intended, but you're still very much a baby. You don't know yet that most people can, and do, take on the load that you have, plus more. Much more.
If I could go back to 23 I would:
Sell the horses. All the horses. Keep the beloved dog and take her for more walks. Go to class, every single day. Focus on school. Sell the truck. Sell the trailer. Focus on school. Put all accumulated tack into storage. Go to class. Pet the dog. Break up with the guy and block his number. Take out restraining order. Chuckle while filling in the forms. Keep only one part time job. Party and have a great time and do stupid shttt and have amazing stories to tell. Go to class. Get straight As. Take trips with college friends, especially ones the folks don't know about. Go to class. Smoke more marijuana before career sets in and are subject to randoms for rest of life. Take dog for lots of walks and fun lake time. Visit grandparents, they have a tendency to pass away.
I have been incredibly successful in my career and probably sounded a lot like you do in this post when I was in school. Guess what? I literally don't have a single horse left in my life that I had a 23. I don't have the truck. I don't have the trailer. I don't have the guy. The dog just passed away a month ago, without me, because I gave her away. I'm still not okay about it. I don't have the residence, or so much a comforter set that I had in college. I still have all my tack, because I'm a hoarder.
Guess what I remember the most from college? I remember the fun. I remember the classes and the things I learned. I remember most the illicit trips to Vegas and Kansas City and Jackson MS, and Jackson Wy, and half a dozen other places I was absolutely NOT supposed to be. I remember having an absolute blast dancing with whoever the heck I wanted to dance with. I came out with a bachelors, a sense of humor, and work ethic, and all that I went in with was a sense of humor and work ethic. I WISH I had let myself be a kid, when I really was just a kid. I wish I had worked harder in school, and learned more! I also really wish I had smoked more weed and spent more time just relaxing while I had the chance.
Just consider your age, and just know that you've put yourself in a race to get somewhere that literally lasts the rest of your life. Chill out and have more fun, because you're going to look back and wonder what the heck was the big hurry?
I still have that horse, had him since I was 17, I'm 31 now.
I'm not saying anything really by saying that, but some people just need that horse in there lives, Id hate to think the path it would have sent me down when things were REALLY hard and I walked away from horses, they truly are my sole, and without them and that very special horse, I don't think I would be here to say that.
OP - I hope you find your peace and some balance, many hugs to you. I get the sense from your past posts your horses are very much part of you and you really struggle without them. | |
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 My Heart Be Happy
Posts: 9159
Location: Arkansas | della - 2017-10-06 3:16 PM
classicpotatochip - 2017-10-06 9:24 AM
With all due respect, and no snarkiness intended, but you're still very much a baby. You don't know yet that most people can, and do, take on the load that you have, plus more. Much more.
If I could go back to 23 I would:
Sell the horses. All the horses. Keep the beloved dog and take her for more walks. Go to class, every single day. Focus on school. Sell the truck. Sell the trailer. Focus on school. Put all accumulated tack into storage. Go to class. Pet the dog. Break up with the guy and block his number. Take out restraining order. Chuckle while filling in the forms. Keep only one part time job. Party and have a great time and do stupid shttt and have amazing stories to tell. Go to class. Get straight As. Take trips with college friends, especially ones the folks don't know about. Go to class. Smoke more marijuana before career sets in and are subject to randoms for rest of life. Take dog for lots of walks and fun lake time. Visit grandparents, they have a tendency to pass away.
I have been incredibly successful in my career and probably sounded a lot like you do in this post when I was in school. Guess what? I literally don't have a single horse left in my life that I had a 23. I don't have the truck. I don't have the trailer. I don't have the guy. The dog just passed away a month ago, without me, because I gave her away. I'm still not okay about it. I don't have the residence, or so much a comforter set that I had in college. I still have all my tack, because I'm a hoarder.
Guess what I remember the most from college? I remember the fun. I remember the classes and the things I learned. I remember most the illicit trips to Vegas and Kansas City and Jackson MS, and Jackson Wy, and half a dozen other places I was absolutely NOT supposed to be. I remember having an absolute blast dancing with whoever the heck I wanted to dance with. I came out with a bachelors, a sense of humor, and work ethic, and all that I went in with was a sense of humor and work ethic. I WISH I had let myself be a kid, when I really was just a kid. I wish I had worked harder in school, and learned more! I also really wish I had smoked more weed and spent more time just relaxing while I had the chance.
Just consider your age, and just know that you've put yourself in a race to get somewhere that literally lasts the rest of your life. Chill out and have more fun, because you're going to look back and wonder what the heck was the big hurry?
I still have that horse, had him since I was 17, I'm 31 now.
I'm not saying anything really by saying that, but some people just need that horse in there lives, Id hate to think the path it would have sent me down when things were REALLY hard and I walked away from horses, they truly are my sole, and without them and that very special horse, I don't think I would be here to say that.
OP - I hope you find your peace and some balance, many hugs to you. I get the sense from your past posts your horses are very much part of you and you really struggle without them.
I really think Della has a point. I think you would miss your 4 legged kids if you sold them. Special horses are irreplaceable. I know not everyone sees it that way, just my opinion. Hoping your and bf's talk goes well, and you are wearing a beautiful ring before long. . . . Which we'll want to see pics of!!!! More hugs sent your way---and no apologies to anyone on your part. . . . | |
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 Three in a Bikini
Posts: 2035
| classicpotatochip - 2017-10-06 8:24 AM
With all due respect, and no snarkiness intended, but you're still very much a baby. You don't know yet that most people can, and do, take on the load that you have, plus more. Much more.
If I could go back to 23 I would:
Sell the horses. All the horses. Keep the beloved dog and take her for more walks. Go to class, every single day. Focus on school. Sell the truck. Sell the trailer. Focus on school. Put all accumulated tack into storage. Go to class. Pet the dog. Break up with the guy and block his number. Take out restraining order. Chuckle while filling in the forms. Keep only one part time job. Party and have a great time and do stupid shttt and have amazing stories to tell. Go to class. Get straight As. Take trips with college friends, especially ones the folks don't know about. Go to class. Smoke more marijuana before career sets in and are subject to randoms for rest of life. Take dog for lots of walks and fun lake time. Visit grandparents, they have a tendency to pass away.
I have been incredibly successful in my career and probably sounded a lot like you do in this post when I was in school. Guess what? I literally don't have a single horse left in my life that I had a 23. I don't have the truck. I don't have the trailer. I don't have the guy. The dog just passed away a month ago, without me, because I gave her away. I'm still not okay about it. I don't have the residence, or so much a comforter set that I had in college. I still have all my tack, because I'm a hoarder.
Guess what I remember the most from college? I remember the fun. I remember the classes and the things I learned. I remember most the illicit trips to Vegas and Kansas City and Jackson MS, and Jackson Wy, and half a dozen other places I was absolutely NOT supposed to be. I remember having an absolute blast dancing with whoever the heck I wanted to dance with. I came out with a bachelors, a sense of humor, and work ethic, and all that I went in with was a sense of humor and work ethic. I WISH I had let myself be a kid, when I really was just a kid. I wish I had worked harder in school, and learned more! I also really wish I had smoked more weed and spent more time just relaxing while I had the chance.
Just consider your age, and just know that you've put yourself in a race to get somewhere that literally lasts the rest of your life. Chill out and have more fun, because you're going to look back and wonder what the heck was the big hurry?
Agreed.
You do not have to do everything at once.
You can actually do one thing at a time. :) | |
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Nut Case Expert
Posts: 9305
Location: Tulsa, Ok | You have already taken the first step by realizing that your stress is self-induced. Take a step back and re-evaluate what is truly important to you and let some of the less important things go. Eventually stress overload can make you physically ill and I can guarantee you that it is not worth it in the long haul. | |
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Veteran
Posts: 155
| Do 2 things, make a budget of your money and a budget of your time. Figure your income and expenses based on 1 full time job and school, without your SO's income... just yours. Then figure how much time all that takes, do you have time for 1 horse or more? Time and money to compete or just ride for your sanity? I get keeping horses, sometimes cleaning poop is therapy. But, in my opinion something had to give, before it ends up being a long term health issue. Good luck! | |
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