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Extreme Veteran
Posts: 542
 
| Okay I'm going to attempt to explain what I'm going through. Maybe some others out there feel and can relate or maybe you'll think I'm nuts and don't need to be around horses anymore but this is how I feel.
I didn't grow up riding, but always loved horses. I had those grand champion horse models (still do at my mother's actually lol) and I pretended to be galloping or neighing everywhere I went when I was little. Black beauty for years was my favorite movie along with the original Flicka of course and I loved the velvet feel of a horse's nose it was like magic to me. Sports took over my teenage years and got me a college scholarship but the longing for a horse never left. As a young adult I was finally able to purchase an old beginner barrel horse and start learning.
Over the years I moved up to better faster horses, nicer bred, and eventually found my significant other on the track. Race horses became a passion because it was my SO's job. I loved being around the breeding, the athletes, the all out they'd give you, and the try they had. Barrel racing became more of a business and owning a good horse was not just a point of pride but if I wanted them to stay in the barn they needed to be a good one, a stand out. Race horses pay the bills and barrel horses for fun, or so I thought. It was fine and dandy to have a fun lil solid one to go but these days I don't feel like going on with them unless they are good. Maybe I sound like I'm being a baby but it's just not the same.
I'm praying for god to send me one to make it fun again. I want to feel that magic of a horses nose being velvet and soft and wonderful. I want to have that bond with one again like the first good one you sit on.
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I just read the headlines
Posts: 4483
 
| I have been thinking long and hard about getting that pure appreciation, young girl in love with her horse feeling again. And for me, that means letting go of the competition side of horse ownership and getting back to the simple love and joy I got from just being with my horse, getting to truly know him and letting go enough to let him have a say in what we do. I found a new way of training on Instagram using Functional Movement science and intrinsic motivation. It is so different I haven’t tried it yet, still on the studying on it phase. I do want to compete eventually, but first I want a true, honest relationship with my horse. This probably wasn’t what you are talking about, but reading about someone else at a crossroads in their horse/human relationship made me post here. I hope you find what you are looking for. | |
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 Miss Laundry Misshap
Posts: 5271
| Sounds like it's changed from love of the horse to love of the win.
I have a friend who's daughter has been placed on good, fast, 1D horses her entire childhood. She was always under pressure to win. Now, with college, she hasn't rode for some time. She quit for several reasons, one her good horse got sold due to mom's divorce, AND she couldn't handle the winning pressure.
Now she's sort of interested again. Her mom's horse is very nice, but is taking some time to get used to. She had some 3D placings and wins. BUT she isn't satisfied and thinks she's going to quit and said she won't ride unless she wins --like the 1D wins.
I don't understand the mentality. I guess if you have a true relationship with your horse, you are proud of what they can accomplish whether or not they are 1D. I have a gelding who's about to be 24. He's been 3D his entire career. Won 2 - 3D Championships on him. I love him and love to run him because he's Mr. Consistent, super easy, and he tries no matter what. That, to me, is what it's all about.
Not at all saying having the must win attitude is wrong, I just don't get it myself. | |
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 Elite Veteran
Posts: 623
Location: /ARKANSAS | That happened to me and it took awhile for me to be open enough to see, it was like love at first sight with my last barrel horse, my affection now is fully on a ll year old that I have raised. These kind of special horses show themselves to you!
Edited by fastwrapn3 2017-12-15 10:08 AM
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 Extreme Veteran
Posts: 460
| For me, it was the racetrack that did me in. I worked on the track for years. I was an exercise rider, then a jockey...I know very well what it's like, 7 long days a week. Especially if you have barrel horses outside of that, horses don't seem to be "fun" anymore. After being around the track, how fast people go through horses...you start seeing it as a business, not a hobby. I had to get away from the track for reasons which I don't care to explain here. I took a year break from horses...MY own horses even. Kicked them out in a pasture. It really did take a year for me to get over some of the track life experiences, and start to feel that "love" for horses again. Now, I could care less about the competition =] I still can't wait for it! But, my favorite days are just the easy going days with my two fur babys <3 I'm not sure if you're wanting off the track or not. But if not, maybe downsize on your horses and take a bit of a break? Sometimes after so long of working with horses day in and day out, you get burnt out! Hope this helps =] If you ever need to talk, please never hesitate to PM me =]
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| Nateracer - 2017-12-15 7:46 AM
Sounds like it's changed from love of the horse to love of the win.
I have a friend who's daughter has been placed on good, fast, 1D horses her entire childhood. She was always under pressure to win. Now, with college, she hasn't rode for some time. She quit for several reasons, one her good horse got sold due to mom's divorce, AND she couldn't handle the winning pressure.
Now she's sort of interested again. Her mom's horse is very nice, but is taking some time to get used to. She had some 3D placings and wins. BUT she isn't satisfied and thinks she's going to quit and said she won't ride unless she wins --like the 1D wins.
I don't understand the mentality. I guess if you have a true relationship with your horse, you are proud of what they can accomplish whether or not they are 1D. I have a gelding who's about to be 24. He's been 3D his entire career. Won 2 - 3D Championships on him. I love him and love to run him because he's Mr. Consistent, super easy, and he tries no matter what. That, to me, is what it's all about.
Not at all saying having the must win attitude is wrong, I just don't get it myself.
I think you hit the nail on the head- the love of the win, not the love of the horse. It's kind of like adrenaline junkies or addicts that have to keep chasing the next high. Pretty soon, the little things aren't fun anymore and you wind up not enjoying anything.
I rodeoed in high school and had a pretty significant scholarship to rodeo in college, and it got to where I was so nervous and pressured to win, I would vomit before every rodeo. I was riding my rodeo horses, riding young horses, giving lessons, going to school and just getting burnt out. After college, I sent my horses back to my parent's place and took quite a few years to figure myself out again. I still worked around horses, but now I am able to enjoy horses again and am actually excited to start young ones and see the mental and physical progress they are making. I am ecstatic to see the outcome of our breeding crosses this spring, and spend quality time with my mares and foals.
List your priorities, goals, etc. and where you hope to see yourself in 5 years, 10 years, etc. Maybe it's time to re-evaluate what you really want in life, and what makes your heart happy and go from there.
ETA: I am still hesitant to compete much, because I get nervous even going to watch rodeos, but I give a lot of lessons and am getting better about shedding the conditioning I worked myself into (almost like Pavlov's dogs!)
Edited by madredepeanut 2017-12-15 11:12 AM
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 Reaching for the stars....
Posts: 12708
| I am a super competitive person, I was born that way. So competitive that I was walking at 8 months because everyone else could.
Horses are my first passion. I won a bet with my dad at age 5 and got my first small horse from that. We did everything, and well. His size kept me from winning the speed events but we even entered large association shows and beat the big AQHA girls at horsemanship and trail. I got my first big powerful running horse at age 12. It took a bit but we became a dominant running team. I set arena records and swept up all the prizes for years.
Then life happened and in 1997 I finally returned to horses with the intention of barrel racing at the top again. A few years into that (well, 10 years) I bought a filly that could do that with me. She ran at the top during her futurity season, and surprisingly enough we (she and I, not her futurity jockey) ran at the top for a few years. Then something went wrong with one of her stifles. Never could find anything specific to fix. We had a few good runs after that but mostly crazy out of control attempts.
So now she's retired and I only have my very faithful 3D stallion to run. My competitive nature screams at me that I want another fast horse! Even tho my stallion brought home a lot of $$ this year, won another saddle, and a division at the Coastal last month, he's still sllooooowwwww compared to a fast horse.
There were times all year where I just didn't care to ride at all. Kinda bored with Zan, nothing to look forward to for years and years while some other horse grows up and gets trained up.
I think we all go through times of less intensity towards even our greatest passions. A couple things that a little age give you is perspective, and patience. It's not always fun, but you understand that this is what IS, and only time (or huge chunks of $$'s) will bring you back to full enjoyment of your passion. | |
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 Expert
Posts: 1520
Location: Illinois | I go through phases every year. I always take the winter off (middle of November-beginning of March) and literally let my horses be wild mustangs. I check them just to make sure they're safe and not hurt every few days, but otherwise I don't touch them. Probably the only time they're haltered is the day the farrier comes and that's it. I don't like the cold so I enjoy a couple months off from riding and it gives them a nice break as well. I had gate issues for several years and I got to the point where I was so mad before I even got to the first barrel, that making a run wasn't fun. Plus the defeated feeling from starting on a 1D horse and ending up on a 3-4D horse with gate issues. Last year I only went to a handful of races because I just didn't want to anymore. I'd never sell that horse though, he's kind of been "the one" for me out of the 5 I've had so far. My old one will die with me, he was the first horse when I was just 12 so he'll stay until he dies. I definitely get into spurts where even if it is fun, I don't pull a check and I'm like well this sucks. Was it even worth it to spend $200 on a weekend just for some fun? If I wanted to do it just for fun I could go to the local little fun shows. Even though it is fun to go to jackpots, the thrill of the money makes it more fun for me. Because I feel like it's a nice reward for all the work I've put into the horse. There's some races I luck into money at almost every time and the times I don't I'm so disappointed. I go into it thinking I'm going home with money and then I don't and I feel like I've wasted the whole weekend. Those times are why I take some time off and just do other things. I focus on doing some house projects, I make custom bell boots sometimes, and some other stuff. Nice to just refocus and after a couple months I'm typically frothing at the mouth to get back on a horse. But there have been times I've been so burnt out that I've wanted to sell out, but so far I haven't. I think you just have to take some time sometimes and focus on other things and leave barrels behind for a short time, or longer for some. Spend the time doing more regular stuff, maybe find something else fun to try with your horse for a little bit. | |
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Married to a Louie Lover
Posts: 3303
| This is one reason why we only take in a select few outside horses, feeling like you “have” to go ride can really take the awesome out of it quickly. I want to be a great rider and a great trainer...of my own horses, where it doesn’t matter if I want to sit on the couch that night and not go ride, the only one I’m answering to is myself. Never had the desire to try and make a total living out of it, husband is the same. If we buy/train/sell one or two a year that’s good enough for us - we enjoy that part of it, but we know we’d probably hate it just as quickly if we HAD to go do it.
I wish I had advice, I wish I knew what to tell you.
You say at one point barrel horses became a business and they had to be good to stay - is that because they were winning enough to pay for their keep or because you wanted your reputation to be one of winning? Both can put a lot of pressure on a person and suck the fun right out of things. | |
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 Elite Veteran
Posts: 899
Location: Idaho | runfastturnsmooth - 2017-12-15 7:01 PM
Okay I'm going to attempt to explain what I'm going through. Maybe some others out there feel and can relate or maybe you'll think I'm nuts and don't need to be around horses anymore but this is how I feel.
I didn't grow up riding, but always loved horses. I had those grand champion horse models (still do at my mother's actually lol) and I pretended to be galloping or neighing everywhere I went when I was little. Black beauty for years was my favorite movie along with the original Flicka of course and I loved the velvet feel of a horse's nose it was like magic to me. Sports took over my teenage years and got me a college scholarship but the longing for a horse never left. As a young adult I was finally able to purchase an old beginner barrel horse and start learning.
Over the years I moved up to better faster horses, nicer bred, and eventually found my significant other on the track. Race horses became a passion because it was my SO's job. I loved being around the breeding, the athletes, the all out they'd give you, and the try they had. Barrel racing became more of a business and owning a good horse was not just a point of pride but if I wanted them to stay in the barn they needed to be a good one, a stand out. Race horses pay the bills and barrel horses for fun, or so I thought. It was fine and dandy to have a fun lil solid one to go but these days I don't feel like going on with them unless they are good. Maybe I sound like I'm being a baby but it's just not the same.
I'm praying for god to send me one to make it fun again. I want to feel that magic of a horses nose being velvet and soft and wonderful. I want to have that bond with one again like the first good one you sit on.
I know exactly how you feel.
I started really training horses when I was 19. Busted my butt, worked hard, established some pretty good jobs at really nice, high end, World Champion training barns. I have been training my own horses for as long as I can remember. My parents were never able to afford those finished barrel horses so I had to do my own homework and do the work myself. I had a lot of mentors and people who took me under their wing because I was eager to learn. I did a little bit of everything. After 13 years of training, I am finally taking a break. After my old man died, I had to start all over again with two other horses. I was not able to enjoy my ride, as I was always trying to fix something or was always expecting something to happen, that needed to be corrected.
So now, I don't have any horses. I sold my last one in June after putting 6 years of my life into him, making him into a well rounded, fancy broke gelding before sending him to a new home. It is a sale I sincerely regret because he was my first baby that I trained from the ground up, but I just needed an older, been there done that horse. I miss riding, but I really need to learn to ENJOY it again. It has become work and a job. So I'm slowly getting back into it through lessons, just riding once a week on broke horses that don't need any extra work. Eventually I will probably lease out a horse, but until then just taking my time.
Edited by DashNDustem 2017-12-19 10:40 PM
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Expert
Posts: 1599
| This is a great post that really got me thinking. This will be long, and maybe a little off of the OP's intentions....but I guess the bottom line is that your love of horses will still find you no matter where you are at in your life.
I have experienced horses on all levels. My parents are not horse people at all, but I was born loving horses. I found a kindergarten poster about what I wanted to be when I grew up. "Horse Trainer" it said. My parents supported me and got me lessons and and my first horse and I lived for 4-H county fairs and summer.
In College I started working for a AQHA pleasure horse trainer, went with that into working for a reiner....and got really burned out and quit. Didn't ride a horse for 2 years.
Now I have a good job and a SO that is seriously into cutters. I feel so conflicted because SHOULDN'T I want to go win the big ones in Fort Worth?? Shouldn't I be so DRIVEN to go to AQHA World and all of that now? Like that was my dream in college?!
Yet somehow-I'm not. What gives me happiness right now and has been for a bit is riding my colts and seeing them progress. But I'm not sure if that's because that truly is what makes me happy, or if it's because I'm scared of getting out of my comfort zone and really challenging myself?? I dunno. I think when you stop thinking about it so much and the right horse comes a long- the path will take you where you are supposed to go.
Edited by lopnaround 2017-12-20 12:31 PM
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Extreme Veteran
Posts: 490
| JLazyT_perf_horses - 2017-12-15 11:43 AM
I go through phases every year. I always take the winter off (middle of November-beginning of March) and literally let my horses be wild mustangs. I check them just to make sure they're safe and not hurt every few days, but otherwise I don't touch them. Probably the only time they're haltered is the day the farrier comes and that's it. I don't like the cold so I enjoy a couple months off from riding and it gives them a nice break as well. I had gate issues for several years and I got to the point where I was so mad before I even got to the first barrel, that making a run wasn't fun. Plus the defeated feeling from starting on a 1D horse and ending up on a 3-4D horse with gate issues. Last year I only went to a handful of races because I just didn't want to anymore. I'd never sell that horse though, he's kind of been "the one" for me out of the 5 I've had so far. My old one will die with me, he was the first horse when I was just 12 so he'll stay until he dies. I definitely get into spurts where even if it is fun, I don't pull a check and I'm like well this sucks. Was it even worth it to spend $200 on a weekend just for some fun? If I wanted to do it just for fun I could go to the local little fun shows. Even though it is fun to go to jackpots, the thrill of the money makes it more fun for me. Because I feel like it's a nice reward for all the work I've put into the horse. There's some races I luck into money at almost every time and the times I don't I'm so disappointed. I go into it thinking I'm going home with money and then I don't and I feel like I've wasted the whole weekend. Those times are why I take some time off and just do other things. I focus on doing some house projects, I make custom bell boots sometimes, and some other stuff. Nice to just refocus and after a couple months I'm typically frothing at the mouth to get back on a horse. But there have been times I've been so burnt out that I've wanted to sell out, but so far I haven't. I think you just have to take some time sometimes and focus on other things and leave barrels behind for a short time, or longer for some. Spend the time doing more regular stuff, maybe find something else fun to try with your horse for a little bit.
I've been going through this for awhile now. Im trying to decide if its big life changes, money being tight, the nasty winter weather or is it time to take a break?
In July my husband interviewed for a job 250 miles away. They offered him the job the next Monday and he left Tuesday. I moved north a month later. Leaving friends I've known and ran with for years, a house and property that was set up exactly like I wanted and a job to move into an RV, boarding the horses and having to find a job. Thankfully in 10 days I had a job, moved horses from the first lease pasture to a GREAT place and still living in the RV. No big deal. BUT moneys been tight lately. We have more bills until our place back home sells. Who knows when that is going to be.
I have 4 horses right now. My old mare will die in my pasture, a younger version of her that I call my princess, my husbands mare that he's been on twice this year. Ive kept her legged up, started her on the pattern and want to start hauling her, and my newest, a super nice mare that's had a hard past. Im a sucker for the projects people throw their hands up with. That's how I have 3 of those... I love figuring out what makes them tick. I love working through problems. I just love taking one people have given up on and watching them succeed. But lately Ive struggled. If I don't pull a check I go home kicking myself and running over and over how expensive this hobby is. And we all know it is. Right now 2 of my 4 are needing shoes. 2 of my 4 need routine hock injections. They all get their teeth done once a year plus shots and coggins. Expensive when you start adding it all up.
When I was winning on a mare I sold, it was GREAT to go. I knew I could pick up a check just about every run. And they paid for themselves. I haven't placed since April. 8 long months. So.... Ive gotten frustrated.
I have seriously thought about selling 2 and taking a break. I get up at 5:30, drive out and feed, head home and get dressed then head to work. I work til 5, head home, change clothes and grab the dogs and head back out to ride and feed or haul to a weeknight race to exhibition. I only see my horses in the daylight right now on the weekends. Its tough. Maybe Im just burned out. I don't know. But I know not riding isn't an option. Maybe the spark to compete will come back but right now the disappointment of not doing as well as I'd like is keeping me down. I am not even having fun on my princess and she used to put a smile on my face whether it was a good or a bad run. | |
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