It's been almost 2 years since I've been on any platforms social media or otherwise but figured I could get a general idea based on feedback here. 

I sent my colt to a colt starter last summer. He was already 3 not broke but tied, stood for farrier, saddled hauled etc. I left him for 6 months and only recently picked him up and dropped off another 2 yr old.  

I rode my colt twice before I brought him home and wanted to ride him the day I picked him up but the trainer threw a fit bc it was windy. We got crossways about it and he told me that no other clients ride their horse multiple times or come see their horses like I did(mostly bc I was dropping feed/alfalfa/money). He stated that his clients ride the day they pick them up and take home and that's it. Ultimately I'm happy with my colt. He is broke, has the buttons quiet etc everything I was told he was. Last weekend he did a couple of things that he hadn't done before like moving when I went to mount. When I texted the trainer and asked for help he blew up at me, freaked out and started defending his training. I told him it had nothing to do with his training nor was I unhappy I just needed help identifying the issue that I'm sure it was something I was doing. He settled down. Offered to have me come over for a lesson at some point. I rode him the next day and we worked on standing still, he rode beautifully and I of course let the trainer know. 

Here's my conundrum:

He has my two year old and it was my intent to leave her for 6 months but now I'm uncomfortable. He does phenomenal work and he does take really good care of them. I'm not needy at all, I take alfalfa/feed every 2 weeks or so bc that's how I'm paid, put my eyes on her and leave. I will ask him to work her at 45 days for me at his convenience. I'm paying $1000/month UP FRONT plus feed, trims etc

I don't know what protocol is for trainers as this is the first time I've ever used someone outside my friend circle. What is correct protocol? I've asked a few friends and they told me to go get my horse...

Thanks in advance for any input. 

He works for you. Period.

There is no protocol. Warranty on training, lessons for you and the horse,expectations by you need to be ironed in the interview process, be very detailed about what you want. Most trainers are going to weed themselves out if they don't think they can live up to your expectations. 
Keep in mind that no matter what you do for a living, when you get on a horse, you're either training or UN-training.

It sounds like he's doing a good job, but is a little sensitive.  I think I'd rather have someone who rides my horse and gets it broke, than a yes man who doesn't ride but just takes your money.  I have a great appreciation for a colt breaker who rides the horse without blowing it up.  I think I'd probably hang with him and tiptoe around his feelings. 

That is my thought.

I view it as a partnership.  The first couple horses I had in training I wanted to know the progress of the horse by week.  I now realize that is unrealistic.  At this point, I know they are taking care of the horse, I trust they are doing the riding and putting in the time.  So I probably check in quarterly to see if they need anything from me.  I had one in training for over 2 years and never rode it once.  Not because the trainer didnt want me to, but because I didn't want to set-back the training I had been investing in.  My advise is, take a step back and let the trainer work.  Then you will end up with the best product.  

You and I are not the same. I'm a rider not an owner. i want a trainer to make a horse I can ride. That's not going to take 2 years. If I leave a horse in training that long, I become an owner. Two different roles. One of the biggest spenders currently in our industry owns several of the biggest performers and sires, but she will never swing a leg over one. The horses will be jockeyed by someone else. I hire someone to do a job, he works for me.

I'm a firm believer that we are a team. I have the same thoughts about my farrier, vet, the hay supplier etc. I'm not just an owner, im a rider. I don't need weekly updates however I didn't expect this person to deny me the opportunity to ride my horse on the day I picked him up bc it was "too windy" especially since that we had planned for me to. The freak out reaction when I was irritated about it and when I asked for help is my issue.  

I ride plenty, but I dont have time to be a trainer.  I want a finished horse I can get on and enjoy.  

I have sent my almost 5 year old 3 different times (mostly 30 days) to my trainer from the time she was 3 till last weekend when i picked her up. Every time I have picked her up she has had me ride her when I came to get her. Didnt matter whether it was windy or not she wanted me to be happy with her so she took the time to give me a lesson. This last time was at a show so I didnt ride her but I had plans to haul her to her place this week to ride anyway (dont have an arena at home so shes kind enough to let me haul in and ride). She didnt give me a lesson but rode with me and gave me pointers and things shed noticed while working her.  I agree with you that if you cant ask a question without a freak out that throws red flags. I also do the same as you and bring my own grain so when i would drop off i would say hey and check in, plus my trainer messages with updates thankfully. Communication plays a huge part. It doesnt have to be everyday but once a week is great. 

If I'm paying someone, I expect them to work with me....ie: let me ride my horse and be comfortable before I bring him home ESPECIALLY if it's been their 6 months....homie needs to ride great even if it's windy...come on lol.

The one time we've sent a Colt to get started the girl that did it for us was great. Super easy to talk to and was always updating us. By the second 30 days we sent this filly to her and she wanted some details abt what we were using her for and how we wanted her fine tuned. I'd probably say if you've got another option go for it. There's no point in fighting sombody when it comes down to your horses. Also she wanted us to come ride with her as often as we could because she cared about who was riding the mare and cared that all the work she put in kept growing and didn't just stop once she came back home. If you've got sombody that WANTS to help and cares about you and the horses growth I'd go to them instead probably. 

Yes!!! Thank you. They are the expert on the horse at this point and if you are concerned even a little about the success of the horse then help me. I will add that they have given me a few tips on how they corrected him when he was being resistant to leg pressure and it's worked well and I'm so grateful for any help.